Borderline friend zone/not friend zone. Should we go on a walk Wednesday?

[guitar903]

Ok. I'm a freshman in college. She's a sophmore. The college I go to is actually local to the town I grew up in, so I know my way around. I met this girl at a party the other week. We came back and made out a lot, and I took steps to switch it from hookup to crush mode. It was pretty successful by the end of the first night. We kissed again when we went to dinner the next night. Two days later, she told me she wasn't sure what she wanted out of this yet. So I saw her today, and we're on pretty good terms. I was going to take her on a long walk Wednesday, cause she wants to hang out then. Then, I'll buy her ice cream. We will basically get to know each other over the time. At the end, I'll tell her something like this. I know you're going to be really busy with your internship this summer. I just want you to know that you're a really amazing girl, and I've loved getting to know you over the past couple of weeks. I understand you might not be able to commit over the summer, but I've been waiting a long time to meet a girl like you, and I'd do whatever it takes to make it work. Is that good?

[loveisbeautiful]

I was gonna give you some advice, but after reading all the answers. I don't

really see any point in doing so! I will just say this, I don't agree with the

advice given here. I think it's a HUGE mistake to just let things be, and it's

a even BIGGER mistake to just let things be cool and causal. At the end

of the day, all we can do is advise people to the best of are abilties. But,

it's up to you, to make the final choice. Whatever your heart tells you to do,

is what you should do.

However, I would advise that whatever you choose to do. Don't let your guard down

and don't assume that if you play it cool and casual, throw some flirting in there or tell her

"she's amazing girl "and "you've loved getting to know her over the past couple of weeks". That

it guarntee's that once she decides what the hell she wants, that you'll be the one she chooses.

Because, you could still end up as her bestest buddy and then you'll be the one hurt. So, just

be careful and DON'T assume anything. I'm not trying to be mean or hurtful, I'm just not into

playing dating games. I believe in being up front and honest and laying all my cards on

the table, that way I don't waste my time or that persons time. I'd rather be with somebody,

that I KNOW wants me. Than waste my time playing games with somebody that "kinda, sorta,

maybe, wants me". And, MIGHT down the line decide they want to date me. I guess people

do things different college, I don't know. Good luck and I hope things work out for you and

this girl. Best wishes : )

[lumos]

"... and I've loved getting to know you over the past couple of weeks."

Stop there. After that, it becomes way too serious and too deep. It sounds like you're ready to commit way too fast, and that might become a big turn-off for her especially since she has already told you that she's unsure of what she wants to do. She'd probably feel cornered and scared, like she HAS to answer right on the spot with a yes or no. Don't do that, don't put her in that position. She's not ready for that yet, so respect that. Keep it light and fun and don't worry too much about it. If you guys really are right for each other, you will end up together no matter what. So don't try to rush it, that might just end up making things not work. Tell her that you've had a great time and that she's an amazing girl, and don't be afraid to keep flirting with her. But not anything more serious than that. It should be enough to plant a seed of thought in her head, so it'll get her thinking more and more about your situation. Being too serious too fast is just going to scare her away. Let her take her time. :)

[guitar903]

good thoughts in here

[lumos]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

You can tell her you like her but don't try to rush her into a relationship since she already told you she didn't know what she wanted yet.

[ibej818]

No no no. Way too deep man. You just need to stay in contact, light contact.

Don't get all dramatic like its the last time you'll ever see her, be confident that she'll want to stay in touch. She's enjoying her freedom, be the one she wants to enjoy it with, not the one that wants to take it away from her.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

oppaoppa has the best answer, IMO. But don't let yourself slide into that friend zone. Don't accept a non-dating relationship if that's what you want. If she's not interested in meeting your needs, cool it off a bit.

[Anonymous]

Go for the work.

It will really get you both closer.

[Anonymous]

You're thinking to much into this