Why do women enjoy leading men on?

[Anonymous]

I really want to know the reason for this. Most women just lead men on by being extremely close, saying sweet things, sharing everything about their life etc. In short, they make it obvious to the men that they're interested. But if the men take the next step and ask them out, they reject them outright. And as if to add insult to injury, they start giving a lecture, saying that they were only being friendly, its the man's fault to have misinterpreted their friendliness as a possible romantic interest, and all that crap. We men aren't so foolish that we can't make out whether the woman is just being friendly or if she's actually interested. Its almost like women actually derive sadistic pleasure by leading men on, getting their hopes up and then breaking their heart within a moment. I agree that men too lead women on sometimes, but such cases are FAR LESS compared to women leading men on. So what could be the reason for this?

P.S. I'm not criticizing or judging women in any way. I just want to know what really goes through a women's mind when she falsely leads a man on. And men are welcome to throw in their opinions as well.

[Anonymous]

Men are, in fact, wired to misinterpret women's romantic feelings. Men are wired to pursue any sexual access. Their brain rewards them for it. Females are wired to pursue social connections (friendship, family as well as romantic).

Young women don't realize that guys don't feel the need to have someone say nice things to them, share personal details, hang out UNLESS he's also being boned. Guys don't realize that being boned isn't necessarily a bonus to those things to a female and feels betrayed that she accidentally made him think that he could gain sexual access.

The young female finds friendships with both sexes rewarding on their own and if she's not sexually interested, feels betrayed that sex is the key part of what the guy wants from her.

[toulouse]

oh c'mon leading people on is just how some people have fun. men not being exempt by any means.

friendship can also be misconstrued as interest. especially when one party really wants to see the other party as being interested.

being close, spending a lot of time talking to someone is typical friend behavior.

whose blaming anyone. if you assume someone is interested then find out not that's just a misunderstanding cleared up. no problem.

personally I don't assume someone is interested. I tell them I am and see what they say or if they tell me they are interested and see how they act. I find most people have no clue how the feel no matter how sure they are it changes like the whether in new england.

[Anonymous]

I have never led a man on and never will. It's wrong and mean. I have been led on by guys and it has crushed me. I also have had girl friends who have led men on and I usually let them know that it's wrong. So here is what I've learned from my experience.

I think the root of it is the same for both: Selfishness - it's all about me, me, me...who cares what it's doing to other person's heart. It makes me feel good inside to be wanted and desired. They could give a rats *ss about anyone else. The end.

^ people like that should be avoided, find someone genuine and caring.

[Asker]

yeah, you're right. Both men and women do it, but women do it a lot more than men. The fact is, its usually 100 times more difficult for a man to get a girlfriend, compared to a woman getting a boyfriend. Women are aware of this fact, so they just use it to their advantage.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know for a fact if men get dogged more than girls. I have had my fair share, but no matter what it SUCKS! Is it easier for a girl to get a guy? for some yes, for some hell no, but that's the same with guys too. Depends your confidence level and self-esteem. If you have been rejected a lot it's going to be tough. But it's "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." We can't let pain and fear lead our future...that no way to live.

[Asker]

No, I haven't been rejected a lot. In fact, I haven't even asked out a woman in my life for the fear of rejection. Even with my previous experience (when the girl led me on), I never really asked her out. I found out that she was leading me on through different means. Right now I'm reasonably good looking (although not to the extent of being called 'handsome) and also have a good career and steady job. So there's no real reason for a women to reject me, but still I'm petrified of trying.

[Opinion Owner]

Take a risk! Find a sweet, kind girl and ask her out! Trust me you will make her day! Don't let fear make choices for you, you are missing out on meeting someone who could make you so happy. And screw that girl who led you on, that's the past! Time to move foreword! YOU CAN DO IT! :D

[Asker]

Thanks a lot for your encouraging words. I'll definitely try to ask someone out soon. But the problem with me is, suppose she rejects me, I tend to feel that I'm not good enough for her, rather than realize that she probably just felt I wasn't compatible with her. This could deal a serious blow to my confidence, and I don't know how to tackle this.

[Opinion Owner]

Tackle it with having some good supportive friends and family members. When I've been hurt they were there to encourage me and tell me how wonderful and beautiful I am and that some day a lucky man will get me. Always be honest with yourself, but don't lie down in self-pity. Take pain and let it make you stronger and wiser. If you do that, you will attract a very special girl who will adore you to pieces!

[Asker]

You're right. But unfortunately, I don't think my family will support me with respect to these issues, and I don't really have any 'true' friends. So I guess its up to me to console myself in case something goes wrong. I have some commitments with respect to my career right now, so after a month or two, I'll definitely try get into the scheme of dating again.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry about that! That's a bummer...well I would encourage you make some really good guy friends! I know that's easier said then done, but you should try. A good friendship can really be beneficial and be such a blessing to your life. I know I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for being willing to take a chance soon. I hope you meet someone super great! :)

[Asker]

Yeah, its difficult because my lifestyle is vastly different from most people. Like I don't smoke or drink (not even occasionally), am a strict vegetarian and also a virgin (I have decided to save myself for that special woman). Most people don't want to be friends with me because they feel that I'm a loser 'who doesn't know how to enjoy his life', although I have no issues mingling with people having any kind of lifestyle.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh you don't seem that different to me haha...I don't drink or smoke, I do eat meat (can't help it I'm Italian) and I'm a virgin too (saving myself for one special guy). Most of my life choices are because I'm a Christian and I love God. Don't worry I'm not going to stuff religion down your throat. I don't think you are a loser at all, you are actually a really cool guy to be able to save your self for a special girl! Most men don't have the self-control, so bravo you're awesome!

[Asker]

I'm happy that you feel that way. But most people around me feel that I'm a guy who failed to attract girls or get laid during high school, so I adopted this 'dull' lifestyle just to combat my failures. What crap!

[art84]

It's fun to lead a guy on, you get their hopes up then slowly destroy those hopes by rejecting him and making him feel like an idiot thus hating you and wanting nothing to do with you. I've been lead on by a girl and just felt like I was played for. In the past I have had girls who were friendly but made it known they didn't like me only as a friend. I didn't have feeling for any of them and was sure they didn't feel the same about me. I think it's just something women do cause they can get away with it. Women have the power, they can get any guy to do whatever they want if they have him wrapped around her finger.

[Asker]

You're absolutely spot on. Same thing happened to me when I was 23 years old (I'm 27 now). I went into depression, attempted suicide, had to treated by a psychiatrist and all that crap. From then on, I've completely stayed away from women, even with respect to friendship.

[melissat]

Can I just say to both of you that I am so sorry girls have done this to you. Girls like that are not worth your time and or your love. You both of you can do better. Don't let a girl dictate your worth...

I was led on by a guy for 3 years...he smashed my heart into a million pieces. He even told my best friend he was leading me on because he liked the way I made him feel. I cried for over a year...then I realized he was a total Dbag and I deserve a good guy, one with a heart...

[Asker]

@melissat. Thanks for your encouraging words. but women have so many opportunities. Like if one man breaks a woman's heart, there will be 10 more men who would be waiting for this to happen, so that they can try for her. But in case of men, its really difficult. If a woman break's a man's heart, he just can't sit back and wait for other women. He has to overcome his emotional pain and regain enough confidence to try again. This is EXTREMELY difficult.

[melissat]

Have you ever heard of the cat lady? ha ha it's just as difficult for a girl. I'm 28 years old and never had a boy friend. I've asked out 5 guys who "showed" interest and all flat out said "you're my friend." I actually went on my very first date last month with a guy online. Do you know how that makes a girl feel? VERY Ugly, Unattractive, Not worth a man's time, total reject. Who would ever want me? I'll go hide now because apparently my face appalls you. <- That's EXTREMELY difficult

[Asker]

@melissat I do agree with you, its not so easy for girls too. But you need to realize that no one is UGLY. In fact, I feel that word should be banned. Even the most beautiful person will become all wrinkly with age, but a beautiful heart remains forever . I for one place a lot more emphasis on a beautiful heart rather than a beautiful face. And almost always, a person's attractiveness is inversely proportional to his/her nature.

[melissat]

I like you! haha! For girls physical attraction is a hard one for us to deal with since majority of men are visual and women naturally tend to want to please. Sometimes I "feel" ugly because of rejection, but feelings don't always tell the truth. They are just feelings. I'm a very strong women so I tend to pick myself up, but sometimes you have your hard days. I agree and applaud you for you emphasis on a beautiful heart! I wish more people were like that. :)

[Asker]

Yeah, this is one area where women are at a disadvantage because even average looking men can attract hot women through other means (like money), but average looking women are pretty much stuck with very few dating opportunities. Anyway, thanks for appreciating me. It really means a lot to me. I have always firmly believed that people (both men and woman) should be judged on their nature, skills, talent and abilities, rather than 'looks'. :)

[alexstorm]

If you are speaking from experience with multiple women, the common factor in all the stories are you. I don't find women every to do this at all. If they are dropping you after a while, it's some way that you react and communicate.

[Asker]

Hehe, no way! I never had multiple experiences like that. The only time a girl led me on was when I was a university dropout, had no job and depended on mom for pocket money! So there really was no reason for her to date me, but still what she did was wrong, because she did know everything about my situation at that point. But I have seen many of my male friends suffer this fate, and several female friends who actually take pride in doing it.

[alexstorm]

Sorry to hear that. I don't think I run into it much in my age group. Also I date mostly European women. I've never run into this situation.

[Asker]

I don't really have a nationality or race preference with respect to dating. I VERY SLIGHTLY get more attracted to black women, but I'm also fine with Asians, Hispanics, Caucasians, Indians, and pretty much every other race.

[Anonymous]

A lot of women do it on purpose, because they crave attention. I know many women who have to have ALL male attention, everywhere they go. And they'll do anything to get it. It's sad, really.

And then there are cases where a woman really is ONLY being friendly, because that's how women interact with other women, and intentions can be misconstrued.

[what2dowhat2do]

Sharing stuff about ones personal life is not leading someone on it just means they are comfortable with that person.

As for the rest, we are led to believe that our self worth is based on how attractive we are to the opposite sex so in order to feel important some feel the need to be desired. Not all of us fall for all this and know our self worth without needing to be needed by a man.

[snowangle]

Mostly for attention. But sometimes, guys really do misinterpret being friendly as being flirty.

[Asker]

Only immature guys interpret it that way. Most guys are intelligent enough to know the difference between the woman being friendly and her showing romantic interest.

[seksek]

Attention, boredom or maybe hoping to get something out of it (free dinner, parties, gifts) etc. I don't lead guys on anymore (I did in high school) but a lot of my friends still do.

[SweetPando]

Luckily, not all women are like that.

But yeah; some just need the attention, they like to feel wanted maybe. And some just want some favors out of it.

But it's not something only women do, unfortunately men do it too.

[Asker]

Of course, men do it too. In fact, I have even mentioned in in my question. But women do it much more than men. I guess the reason for this is that its usually 100 times more difficult for a man to get a girlfriend, compared to a woman getting a boyfriend. So women just take advantage of this fact.

[kittykatbrat]

Tbh, I don't ever as I value MY time + OTHER peoples.
.

[Anonymous]

Because those women love to manipulate and control men. If you meet one of them, turn and run the other way. They are evil and will f*** with your life mercilessly.

[Cromartie]

It's just something to do.

[Anonymous]

why do men interrupt friendliness as flirting?><

[Anonymous]

Because men follow so eagerly.

[Anonymous]

Bitches be cray

#Truth

[Anonymous]

Because men stupidly follow like lost puppies