Why Do Women Lead Men On?

Question

Now before you judge it by the title, think about it.  Almost every guy here has been lead on either by purpose or on accident.  I want to focus on this accident part.  I can think of so many different experiences from several people where they befriend a girl, and when he wants to take it up a notch, she turns him down.  Now in most of these cases, these girls show blatant signs of affection through their words and gestures, but in reality they don't think of these guys as more than friends.  Why?  Do women enjoy doing this to men?  Do they care?  Are they just trying to be friendly?  What is it?

superdudeman · Accepted Answer

Its their fault for trying to get attention and to feel loved from all men. (Even the ones they don't like)

And its the mans fault for not knowing the difference between fake interest and real interest.

Many women, (especially the really attractive ones) are really self conscious, and have low self esteem.

Many of them feel like they just fell into, or got lucky in the gene pool and have nothing to do with how men treat them. Thus, all actions anyone does has nothing to do with them as a person, they assume everything is because they are attractive, and nothing else.

Sometimes what happens is they use men because they can and its fun, they use their sexuality to see if a man will fall for it. They will test him to see if he's like all the others. If he's comes on too strongly after she places her hand on his back and smiles at him, and he does the same in return... suddenly the man has failed. He's like all the other men who just want her for sex, or because she's good looking.

Other times its just a way to boosting the womans ego. She likes to be liked, no matter who it is. People in general are this way, men and women alike. Most people love to be liked by others, women however, use their sexuality and bodies as a tool to get other men to like them.

Its validating, even if its from someone you don't like.

Think about it, even as a man its flattering to find out a group of ugly girls wants you.

I have a few drawers full of phone numbers that I have never called and will never call.

I also have a wall of photos just above it. Whenever I feel down, I just look at that corner of the room and go... oh yeah I'm awesome.

Keep this in mind, only people who are needy care that they are being led on.

If you really have tons of men or tons of women in your life, you are not going to care if you find out one of them is leading you on. You just dont.

lsp1915 · Accepted Answer

You know, I've been in (and currently am in) this same situation as well. I'm wondering why this happens as well. Perhaps we have misread their intentions as seeking more than just being friends when, in reality, they just want to be friends in the first place?

To be honest, I believe the blame can go both ways. Sometimes, it is our actions and blinding infatuation towards a girl which can cause us to think something which is never there; on the other hand, girls unintentionally lead us on and they don't even recognize it. This happened to me a few years back when I was in high school, and the girl - after months of texting back and forth with messages that hinted at wanting to see me again - told me she had a boyfriend.

I was deeply hurt and upset, unsure what to make of the situation. I felt like she intentionally led me on at times, but looking back at it, I'm confident now that it was a sincere accident. I hope I never meet a girl who would be cruel enough to do such a thing (besides the bitches in HS, of course. There's plenty of them, haha.)

My advice would be to stay confident in yourself. I'm moving on from a girl as of this moment who I told a lot of personal stuff to, and yet she didn't seem to really care enough about me. Ignore those who waste your time, and focus on those who put in some effort to listen to respond and care enough about you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Personally, I never do anything. I'm one of those super friendly girls that guys assume have a crush on them. What I don't understand, though, is I am not a friendly flirty girl. There's nothing sexual whatsoever about my actions. I lead guys on without knowing it even happened. If I am close with you I will tell you about guys and stuff. I laugh and tease. The closest thing that I do is compliment, but if you know me, you know that I will stop anyone to give them a compliment. And I don't tell most people about my feelings or anything too personal. So, no one should get the feeling that I am trying to bring them closer to me. I don't know. Most of us girls do not try leading guys on and we don't like having to tell the guy that we don't like them and stuff. It's not easy breaking a friend's heart especially since you would consider breaking (hypothetically) any girl that would do that to him.

Yes. We care. Yes. We are friendly. No. We do not like dealing with that stuff. I'd say that friendliness can be misread when emotion is involved.

toulouse · Accepted Answer

a lot of people are just naturally affectionate guys led themselves on by assuming its more than friendship.

a lot of guys screw themselves over by believing men & women can not be friends.

most women do not hold this view.

so when they are friends with a guy they like as a friend.

the guy decides she likes him & he needs to do something & as nothing works he thinks she is playing games fried zoning him etc etc when she was just friends all along

you can not be lead on unless you choose to have expectations & do not find out for sure what's up.

it is your fault if you feel lead n. I would never blame a guy for leading me on, he is not in my head. he does not know what I'm thinking

people who expect things automatically or assume too quickly or do not ask questions feel played, but in fact it was their own presumptuous playing with them, not a person

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Good question, youcould ask the same for guys.Why do guys lead on girls, and then drop em'?

But, anyways..for me it would be an accident, always. I would never intentionally lead on a guy for my amusement. I could see with guys that are my friends reading the wrong signals. If I am comfortable with a friendship with a guy I will tease him, as a friend. Not as flirting, and I could see some guys taking that the wrong way. If I feel I ever am doing that I make sure to say what a great FRIEND they are..

sleepingbch · Answer

People normally think there is something when there is nothing. Nothing seems to be something because its more of looking natural than rejection. If you don't judge women thinking that they are interested in you, but be with them, they always comes around and they will start, but until then she won't realize what she really feels. One more thing, for this type of things happenings, there is always bad relationship with your own males friends. It's strange but when you are tight with your friends, women get jealousy and they always try to steal you from. A lot of guys pretend gay for that reason. they know that they will attract girls for one night stand.

brkadv · Answer

It's a combination of things. Sometimes it's the guy reading in things the girl is not actually communicating at all. Sometimes it's the girl doing this on purpose because she gets an ego boost out of the game. Other times, the girl really is confused about her own feelings or identity and truly does have shifting feelings at different times.

It should also be pointed out that there are plenty of times men do the same.

Sunflower77 · Answer

So pretty much you are saying that I can't just be a friend to a male or say anything or do anything nice for a male, because they will interpret as me leading them or and then all of a sudden I am the evil one. What is the alternative, just not talking to men or just being a bitch to all I'm not interested in? Just because a man interprets my friendly gestures for more than what they are (just me being friendly, how I act towards males AND females) does not make me evil, conniving, wanting of attention, some sort of temptress or witch who enjoys breaking hearts.

madiocre · Answer

I want male friends !

it's kinda annoying that I think I'm being friendly but it get's interpreted as more then the guy gets all cut when I say no... I mean I have a boyfriend offcourse I'm not interested.

I think we have our affection set higher then men. like when I was single if I ever tried to lead a man it was always too strong but if I'm just friendly they seem to jump to conclusions.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like I'm one of these girls who leads on their guy friends! I don't know how they think I like them. I'm one of those girls who as soon as I feel like the guy likes me I take a few steps back. I wasn't meaning for him to like him. I'm flirty with guys because their my friends and I'm comfortable with them so I pick and carry on. I'm not trying to flirt with them. I give awesome hints I'm not into them by saying I like some guy or something. I actually have a guy friend who has a kid who thinks me and him were going to getting married and lived happily ever after. I don't even like him but he don't get it. He knows and still tries. You don't understand what its like to be on the opposite side of this question lol. GOOD LUCKKK

Anonymous · Answer

Mostly its friendliness. I've had WORSE from a guy friend so don't even think its a woman thing. Affection is nothing compared to : guy friend holding onto me tight gripping me from my spine as if not to let me go. Hugging/holding from behind. Telling me he likes me. Sleeping with me. No he doesn't want a relationship with me. I'm just a good friend to him he says. How fkn misleadin is that.

Gregs · Answer

usually attention and insecurity, but often free stuff that guys foolishly buy.  Both partys are at fault here

xav_mar · Answer

Read Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. If you get manipulated it's your fault.

Anonymous · Answer

To feel attractive because men want them.  They could also be bored & have nothing else to do.  Another reason, they might enjoy seeing others in pain.

Biggus_Dickus · Answer

I don't get lead on because I've accepted I'm genetically inferior to most men and it would be a miracle for a girl to find me attractive

brunettebelle · Answer

It's amuseing and why do men lead us on and give us mindblowing thoughts.

HotChcik · Answer

I have never lead a guy on I am straight up with I guy. I think its mostly we don't want to hurt your feelings. I have a hard time telling guys who like me I don't like them back

HotChcik · Answer

yeah I agree. thanks for letting me know. :) it helps ALOT! :)

Anonymous · Answer

i'm pretty sure you're misreading signs

Anonymous · Answer

are you sure you're not leading yourself on?

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