Why do older men find me more attractive?

[afterschoolgirl]

I'm wondering because I seem to attract the older types more than those closer to my age. These older guys aren't "sleazy" (although there are those too) and I don't look easy-to-manipulate (if so, they'd go for the bubbly extroverted blonde).

I have a natural attraction to older men (at least 6+ years) and am just really curious if maybe I'm unconsciously sending off flirty signals their way. Again, it's not just the sleazy types who are attracted. Is it something about my style? Attitude? Way I carry myself?

Any help would be appreciated :)

[smartsexycool21]

okay, one girl below stated that men want someone weaker, needy, dependent, etc. yes, that is true to a certain extent. No man wants a woman who can't do anything for herself and who is needy. You need to have a life of your own. YOu need to have goals, aspirations, dreams and etc. Being an independent woman, doesn't mean you have to pronounce to the world that you don't need a man. YOu can be an independent woman and still desire a man in your life. Yes, a guy wants to feel like a man, dominant etc, but he also doesn't want to feel like your daddy, always having to do everything for you. It gets old quick. If he senses he is the center of your entire world, ( meaning you have no life other than him) he'll get tired of you.

as far as why they date younger women or ( in this case the question asker) I feel that it probably first a physical attraction (but this will not keep him here) and later on your personality. A 30 something year old man with an established life and occupation doesn't want an immature 18 year old who plays with barbies and is emotionally unstable. Men don't like drama. More than likely if these older men are taking you seriously its because you have demonstrated that you are a WOMAN, not a little girl. There is a big difference between a little girl and a young WOMAN who is emotionally stable and mature enough to enter into a relationship with an older man.

yes to some extent younger women may look a little better in general, but that is not always the case or the reason for them talking to you.

If a man only dated me cause I was younger and my skin was tight, I wouldn't date him. What do you think he is going to do when you age. Yes, you answered correctly, look for another younger woman to have an affair with lol. But if there is a connection then its not all about looks , and you could have a lasting relationship. Being that you want a relationship, cause some girls don't.

[afterschoolgirl]

WOW thanks so much, your post was extremely helpful (especially about the drama part, I couldn't put my finger on it but you explained it really well).

[smartsexycool21]

i think it could be that you are mature for your age. You may carry yourself in a way that makes you seem older than what you really are. Most men are open to dating young women than women are to dating young men. It just society. So you would see more older men willing to give you a chance. A lot of older men date younger women, because they feel they are naive ( not stupid) but don't yet know all the tricks men have up their sleeves. This is a little different from easy to manipulate. All women are naive when they first begin dating, you learn from experience.

But being that I don't know you well it could be a number of reasons. It could just be that your mature for your age. I really can't tell you unless I met you.

[afterschoolgirl]

Do all older men give younger girls a chance? I'm worried that I have to keep up at a faster pace, at a higher level, to maintain their interest...

[smartsexycool21]

Ok I can't say all I want to say in these little comments so I am going to post again.

[jdrake4360]

They are attracted to you because you are young. Plain and simple. Putting it blunt as possbile and without trying to offend anyone it is because you are more inexperienced as far as knowledge and therefore present an easier target to the men that are players and no good than older girls and not many others have traveled the south country before either.

[afterschoolgirl]

But these guys aren't sleazeballs.... a lot are respectable, accomplished, and take me seriously (we have serious conversations about philosophy and culture). They don't rush, either... they take their time, are more patient, and want more than my male peers. I was told in highschool that I was intimidating (not because I had spectacular looks, or scary) but maybe it was the way I carried myself, or ignored the guys my age,but I don't know if that's enough to explain why only older men go for me

[Newport100]

Maybe you are just way more mature than your peers. Couple that with a young look and you are going to wind up attracting older guys. Nothing wrong with that by the way, you are over 18, an adult and so are they.

yes to your last 3 questions.

[Nutz76]

I think you answered your own question. Why do older guys go for you? Because you're attracted to older men. We're not that complicated, so it's a safe bet there's something in that dynamic that's causing this.

[Anonymous]

I find myself asking the same question from myself from time to time, and I believe the answer is that often these older guys, who take their chances on asking a younger woman out for a date, might just feel like what do they have to lose if they try, so they go for it, while many younger guys might see you as a strong beautiful woman, who they believe must be in a relationship by the way you look, or carry yourself, and they might be lacking confidence on asking because they are afraid of rejection.. just a thought :)

[shes-a-lady]

i know what you mean. I seem to attract older men too.

and I'm usually falling for dudes who are at least 6 or 7 years older than me. they just seem more grounded, experienced and smart

[giantmothlbr]

Biologically speaking, women mature much earlier in life than men. just within the past couple of years (just turned 30) I've seen a change in my desires. they are much clearer, and vastly different than in my 20's. I'm much more relaxed; I smile easier, I laugh more and the little things mean more than they used to. women seem to have the benefit of these things much earlier than we do, so it makes sense that younger women find more in-depth commonality with men my age than their own.

[shes-a-lady]

True.

[Anonymous]

Older men always find younger girls attractive because they don't have wrinkles on their face, and are not saggy and full of loose skin. I'm an obese 22 year old and just about every older man that I meet online wants to date me.

[smartsexycool21]

I doubt that if you are overweight that its your appearance that is attracting them. There are some really physical fit older women who are probably more attractive then you. Honestly, I think most men in general like to date a woman that is a bit younger (1 to 2 years) but for obsessive age gaps it is either you are mature for your age, or just naive and they think they can sleep with you easily. Also younger women are more naive to the games men play in general.

[afterschoolgirl]

But they choose to pursue me over any other "easy" younger girl, and I'm definitely quick-witted and intellectual... but even if that counts as "mature"... why are the guys so much older? Does the fact that I'm (sometimes, quite a few years) younger put them off?

I guess my question is, why doesn't my age put them off?

[smartsexycool21]

MEN DONT CARE ABOUT AGE ( as long as your legal it doesn't matter)......what they care about is if you are mature enough to handle being with them. Can you carry a conversation well, do you get along with his mature older friends? Men will date a women based on appearance first of all, regardless of age, but if you are an immature young female they won't want you for much else than sex. If you prove yourself mature and on their level, they will probably take you seriously.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think you have to be at their level for them to take you seriously, if they love you they will. You obviously do not have the same amount of life experience as a 40 year old man. Men want woman that that they can take care of who will make them feel dominant and in control, and they also, want the woman to be weaker and more sensitive then them. This is why they choose younger woman. There is more physical attraction going on and more emotional compatibility.

[smartsexycool21]

I completely disagree with the answerer......i have dated many older men, and being completely dependent is very unattractive. I am currently dating a doctor and he's 7 years older than me. He talked to me about his dating horrors. A woman that can't do anything for herself is unattractive. Men want a woman that is somewhat independent, but still communicates that she wants a man in her life. Being a little independent doesn't mean you have to be a man, you just have dreams, aspirations, goal

[Hercules]

It's most likely your personality and how you look physically.

[afterschoolgirl]

But then why don't I attract the ones my age as much? I'm just wondering if I offer something different that older men appreciate more

[Hercules]

Well, like I said, given your personality and physical appearance, you likely attract older men.

I'm not saying this is you, but I knew a girl who looked and acted very submissive, so MANY older guys, old older guys, would hit on her whenever she walked around town or anywhere.

Maybe your looks intimidate your own age group and maybe your personality is such that it is too mature for them?

[afterschoolgirl]

Good point, thanks. What do you mean by submissive?

[Hercules]

She'd do pretty much most of what people asked her to do.

[shes-a-lady]

I don't act submissive at all (really, really not lol) and I get attention from them when I walk around town too

[Shlei3]

It's hard to say without knowing you. Honestly it could be.