Why do men think that their looks don't matter?

Question

I just saw a question where the asker polled on if the community agreed that a woman's prime (physical appearance) is 18-29. Personally i didn't agree because I've seen many attractive women in their 30s but why do they think they have right to ask such a question?

There are physical limitations on men too. I am a young woman in early 20s and I dont find men older than their early 30s to be attractive either. But I don't do a direspectful poll on such a thing. I would say the prime for men is 23-33. I wouldn't go for a guy any older than that. But who wants 35 yr old man who is gonna look like crap in 5 years anyways?

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I don’t look like crap😭😭😭 #RUDE

I get what you’re saying in terms of the idiots on here who are mad at women in general, the blue anons here are a special brand of stupid and want to blame their lack of success with women, ON women.

But honestly, I’m getting a little put off by the disrespect I’m hearing towards guys my age as a general rule. I totally understand the misconception of age that people in their 20s have, I had it myself. You realize as you get older that it was kinda bullshit. As a guy who made it to 40... I feel the same as I felt at 35, at 30, at 25, and to a degree, even at 20. I’m fortunate in that I don’t have gray hair on my head, face, or body yet, and I look a little younger than a lot of my peers. I was getting hit on by women younger than you just three weeks ago out in Austin, Texas. They were guessing me at 25 (which I’ll adjust to 30 because we were in dim lighting and drinking lmao), so I’m far from decrepit. I’m taken so I wasn’t out for all that, but I could have taken an attractive 20 year old back to my hotel if I wanted to. She didn’t care that I was 40, and it wasn’t some daddy issue, because she first though i was just a few years older than her.

I’m not saying all this to pump my own tires, or to convince you to date older men, don’t get that twisted. I’m just saying don’t bury us just yet lmao. Like we’re aware we’re getting older, we feel bad enough about it, but once people are adults, we’re all just adults, there aren’t really age rules to dating, but in your early adulthood you still have the erroneous idea in your head from childhood where five years actually constitutes a long amount of time. You’ll probably reject that idea today, but if we’re still here on gag in fifteen years, get back to me about that, haha. You’ll see, trust me. I didn’t believe it either at your age.

So again, if you don’t want to date older than whatever age, knock yourself out. But what I reject is this idea that it’s out of line for any adult to shoot their shot with another adult. I know the odds are against it, but it’s not wrong or against the rules to do it. So just politely decline older fellas if you aren’t interested. I don’t know if your vitriol is coming from unrelenting advances, or rude reponses to your rejections, that’s a different story of the guy doesn’t handle it right, that’s on him and you’re within your rights to be annoyed and maybe a little snappy. But I really think it’s out of line for a guy to make a polite advance and be immediately treated like a creep or a predator. They saw you, thought you were attractive, wanted to get to know you. There’s no harm or shame in that. They just don’t fit your profile, and that’s totally fine, but it’s not audacious of them to try. I’m sure some guys are a little delusional about their own looks at that age and are maybe shooting some near-impossible shots, but you should never be offended just because someone hit on you, if done respectfully. And it’s not disrespectful to be 35+ and to hit on a younger gal who is Of the age of majority. Maybe let the paint dry a bit on the 18-21 year old crowd, but 25 seems pretty in bounds, you’re a viable adult by that point. Like I’m 40, my “half your age plus 7”-rule says I could date a 27 year old. What the hell is wrong with that? If some eyesore is thinking his money or status is enough to pull you, that’s kind of a fucked up attitude at any age.

So I don’t say all this to give you a hard time, I just think you should rethink the way you perceive older guys who try to talk to you. No one says you have to date them, but if their approach is respectful, so should be your rejection. There’s no reason to take offense to it.

JSmuve · Accepted Answer

"I just saw a question where the asker polled on if the community agreed that a woman's prime (physical appearance) is 18-29."

I saw that too!
"Personally i didn't agree because I've seen many attractive women in their 30s"

I disagree too, mainly because I thought the range was too broad. Probably should've been lower than 29.

"but why do they think they have right to ask such a question?"

Why do they have the right? Because this is a website built around asking questions and freedom of speech is one of the rights granted to people in democratic societies. You wouldn't be implying that people can voice their opinions only if it aligns with your own, would you?

"There are physical limitations on men too."

No kidding. Age doesn't discriminate based on gender.

"I am a young woman in early 20s and I dont find men older than their early 30s to be attractive either."

But that's you. There are plenty of woman, and men, who do.

"But I don't do a direspectful poll on such a thing."

Well, you kind of did with this post. Just without the poll.

"I would say the prime for men is 23-33."

Quite possible. Depends on personal taste and how one defines "prime".

"I wouldn't go for a guy any older than that."

But again, that's just you.

"But who wants 35 yr old man who is gonna look like crap in 5 years anyways?"

I hardly think a 40 year old man looks like crap. That's just you being sour grapes over some guy's post and feel the need to retaliate because you took it personally.

emmily2396 · Accepted Answer

Yeah, right? Men are more judgmental on women's look even though 80% of men are unnattractive to most women. We women have requirements too, but we are harder to please, yet we are still less judgmental. We don't go around attacking guys they are not ripped or that they are as ugly as a monkey. However, it happens pretty often for even good looking women to be victims of such jerks.

Gonegirl09 · Accepted Answer

Thanks for calling this out 😂 these men always want to talk about women “hitting the wall” when they don’t seem to realize that their “wall” is around the corner as well. Everyone gets older, there’s no getting around it. Attractiveness is based on personal preference and the way you carry yourself, inside and out.

sejla · Answer

I started going gray at 25. It is an inherited thing and some people start going gray even before that.

If older men aren't your cup of tea then just politely decline their advances. Just realize that at some point you will be there too and be kind unless they are completely pervy with their advances then just leave it an no. People really can't control who they are attracted to. They can control how they act on those attractions or how they speak.

I don't think all men age poorly. It has to do with their genetics and how they take care of their health. I can't say all men over 35 are on their way to the junk yard of life. Some are really coming into their own with their looks and their stable thinking and confidence.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

The main difference between men and women is that what we're judged upon is usually, just looks for women, and a whole mess of things for men. So for men they can just go HAM on some other wanted facit and not rely on looks alone.

I myself, don't offer money or much more relationship wise than a friend or a friend with benefits would offer, so I don't get the girl without my muscles or the girl that wants to build a family.

With that said though I know I could if I offered dinners, entertainment, and/or the family making conditions.

Tru-陳 · Answer

No man thinks looks don't matter for them. It's just men have more to make up for it. I see many ugly men with attractive women. I usually just assume that's because the man has high status/money.

Men don't give a shit about women with high status/money if they're ugly. Men only care about a woman's looks, that's why women's beauty is a much bigger industry than men's beauty.

So basically looks matter in both men and women. But looks are only 1/3 of the puzzle for men whereas they mean everything for a woman. Sorry. Just the way it is.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, women aren't attracted to me. I could gain 300 pounds, and it probably wouldn't matter because I'd have the same amount of dating. So in a way, my looks don't really matter, because no one will want to go out with me, unless I was buff, about a foot taller, and wore designer labels.

I want to TRY to look good. To a point, it matters to me. Work, first impressions, that kind of thing. But the upkeep I would probably need to fix this level of hideous is too expensive and time consuming. I can do certain things up to a point, but it doesn't really seem to make any kind of difference with regard to dating. So me putting on one of those paper masks at night and getting 40 dollar dye jobs every two weeks and obsessing about every acne mark and blemish is pointless and vain.

JC451 · Answer

He has the right to ask because free country. You don't have to agree. I think women are beautiful after these ages well into their 50s. You complain about this guy but you being 25 and thinking men last their early 30s aren't attractive makes you a huge hypocrite.

NineBreaker · Answer

I think it's a misunderstood or misleading statement. Saying that "Men's looks don't matter to women, as much as women's looks matter to men" isn't the same as saying that "Men's looks don't matter [absolutely] ".

It's a fact of life: looks do matter, but more so for some people than others.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

you're looking at the wrong men. Yeah sure some guys smoke and drink a lot and eat crap and dont exercise. Yes many of them look like crap as they get older. A decent amount of men dont smoke or drink much eat healthy and exercise and they will look better as they age up to a point maybe like 50 and then very slowly decline. These men can date 18 to 29 year old girls basically their whole lives if that's what they want. Im 32 with a youthful appearance and girls have said ehh id prefer an older man like in his 40s ideally. So go figure.

Passinggas · Answer

“Personally i didn't agree because I've seen many attractive women in their 30s..” Okay you have justified in your own mind that you can continue to get old and be attractive till you’re 50yo. Yeah! Go for it! On the other hand, I guess being a broke ugly old dude is great feminist repellent in your book. It sounds good to me.

updog45 · Answer

Most guys dont think looks matter for themselves because generally no-one ever comments on their looks whether it be good or bad. I have spent hundreds of dollars on nice suits, haircut, shave, pluck eyebrows the whole 9 yards for weddings or whatever. Not one single compliment, or wow you look great. Nothing. The only sorta compliment you will get as a man is "you clean up pretty good" which isn't really a compliment to me.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Lol by saying you dont want to disrespect men like that, you just did. Haha, look, it's called a preference. Just like when a lot of women on here dont like short guys. Or none of this women on here would go for a hard working broke guy. Women have just as horrible if not more so double standards then guys do.

robrick · Answer

Not all men think that, it's a matter of prospective. Not everyone thinks the same way, i can tell you for me i find necessary for a man to take care of the way he looks, because just like i would like my girl to be good looking i know she too would like me to be good looking. (ofcoarse good looks is not what really matters in building a healthy and long lasting relationship, but it can be a nice bonus to both parties.)

xyz94 · Answer

I think lots of men nowadays do think that they matter, given that they're bombarded with images of bodybuilders and actors on Instagram and the internet... just the same as women have been bombarded with images for years, since the 1950s.

Capnjaques · Answer

I feel like this one of those things where many peoples opinions change as they get older because we're not looking for the same things.

BeMuse · Answer

I know they matter to women, I just don’t put effort into my looks… I let them work on their own and focus on things more important to me.

LordSnuggles · Answer

They can ask any fucking question they please. Ask them don't waste peoples time asking a nonsense question

Anonymous · Answer

''who wants 35 yr old man who is gonna look like crap in 5 years anyways? '' Apparently the 24 year old cute Asian girl I work with does...

Anonymous · Answer

I’d fuck an ugly old guy. I’d fuck an ugly young guy. Doesn’t matter to me. I won’t fuck a mysoginistic asshole though.

UglyestGuyEver · Answer

COS GIRLS CARE MORE ABOUT PERSONALITY... IF UR HOT BUT BORING THAT JUS won't CUT IT... UR GETTING NO PUSSY

DWD1994 · Answer

What women say =/= what women do. Plenty of women date older guys. Older guys have money, resources, and above all, experience.

DWornock · Answer

I don't know what men and women too think they. Typically they will say, Looks don't matter." However, their actions tells you that looks are extremely important.

Why do men think that their looks don't matter?

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