How can I convince my mom to let me get dreads?

[Quisat]

She never lets me change my hair style. I get bored and tired of seeing the same person in the mirror. I need a change. But claims that dreads arnet a "neat and clean hairstyle". How can i convince her to let me have at least freedom with how i want to look?

[Sensmind]

I don't want to be confrontational but you are 18 - Ok you want to keep your mother happy, is there any style you could compromise on between her preferences and your preferences then as time goes by you can push out to the styles you eventually want

[Quisat]

She wants me to get waves. I had waves before. I had them off and on again 5 different times. But waves and brushing 24/7 became a hassle. Dreads are more simple im my opinion. And they look cooler

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Say getting dreads are in honor of Toopok the rapper

[Quisat]

U mean 2pac? Lol

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Yes exactly

[leahzrc]

just get them anyway who cares what she says you're 18

[Quisat]

She doesn't care about that. She still treats me like a child sometimes. Its not fair.

[leahzrc]

do you have money and a car?

[Quisat]

Neither. I plan on going to driver ed soon. But even when i get my car (which will prolly be awhile) she wants me to practice even after i finish drivers ed. I appreciate her concern but she is just over protective. As for the money thing, thts a work in progress. I'm pretty much stuck until then.

[leahzrc]

i took my first driving lesson in December 2019 and got my license in January 2020, i dont know if driving programs are open, but my program was 3, 2 hour long lessons and then a scheduled test with the program for 30 minutes. i avoided it learning how to drive until i was already 18 and a half, i am a slow learner but somehow i did it, i was very scared and tried to avoid it forever, just wanted to let you knkw because i dont know why you haven't learned yet but if it's the same reason as me, i wanted to help you feel better about the situation. as for money, do you have a job? or had one before the virus?

[Quisat]

I scored a job at bojangles. But my mom pulled me out and made me quit after the first day on the job! We wore masks and gloves and we were protected. But my mom just couldn't accept that fact. She is crazy sometimes

[leahzrc]

do you have a father

[Quisat]

Yes. But. I don't live with him. I live with my step dad and mom. My dad is more laid back. He gives me more freedom

[leahzrc]

okay well that sounds like a situation that i had. my mom was also like your mom, on my 18th birthday, i left her to go live with my dad

[Quisat]

My dad live kinda far tho. It would be great idea tho. But i honsetly just wanna start a new life on my own. Maybe find some roommates. Plus he lives in a big city. Nothing wrong with that. It's just that i would miss the country a lot. Plus my mom would call me every week. Which she did when i visited my dad for charismas. She is a liteall helicopter lol

[leahzrc]

i understand that, really i do. when i was with my mom, i left a 5 bedroom 6 bathroom 2 kitchen house to live in a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment 1 kitchen apartment. my dad lived 30 minutes away in a big apartment complex. it might be nicer location wise with your mother, but you have to choose between what is best for your mental health and future. one day, you aren't going to live with either of them, you might as well experience living in a different place just for the sake of learning to adjust to new environments

[Quisat]

I did live with my dad for about 4 months. I was trying to escape from my mom's house. The environment was different it wasn't that bad. I had a big room and nig closet too at my dads. But i guess another problem is that i still have one more of school left. I'll be a senior this fall. I do online school

[leahzrc]

if it is online, why does your location matter

[Quisat]

Good point. Location doesn't matter but my mom is always worried about me. She has nothing to worry about. She always feels like someone is out to get me. She is also very religious which kinda makes her more worried about me because we were taught that the world is evil. But its all a bunch of bs lies. Which makes another thing tht makes her worried. I'm questioning my own beliefs.

[leahzrc]

my mom was also like that and she made me like that for many years but she shouldn't have that power over you, if you want to be your own person and break free from a controlling mother, you have to do something that you are scared of doing

[Quisat]

100%. random question tho. What were somethings u weren't allowed to do that u want to do or have already done?

[leahzrc]

i wasn't allowed to go out with people without her knowing them, i wasn't allowed to use any of her things, i wasn't allowed to be social, she didn't buy me food or anything at all so my dad would have to do it but she didn't want me to see my dad

[Quisat]

Wow this is scarily close to what im going through. The thing about the parent knowing who u want to hang out with is a big one. But not buying u food? A basic essincal thing? Thts mal nourishment.

[leahzrc]

Yeah i was very underweight, it was because she had a hoardering problem where she bought tons of things for herself and thought it was selfish if i wanted hygiene or food

[Quisat]

Damn that fucked up. But at least that chapter of your life is finally over. Did u have time to recover?

[leahzrc]

well it was weird because i didn't think to leave until the month that i did and i knew a lot of things would be worse but i knew what i was doing was right. it has been pretty much a year since then, i left on may 30th

[Quisat]

Well good for u. Lol I'm proud. Say, do u wanna text in the dms in this app?

[leahzrc]

yeah sure

[Cryptic-Game]

You can't. Most parents likes to control their children. If you don't like your mom's or dad's rules, then move out. Then you can get the dreads you desire.

[Anonymous]

Why?

[Quisat]

Why? Bc dreads are rad! Lol

[Opinion Owner]

Have you ever seen what's inside dreads or smelled how bad they smell?

[Quisat]

Bro dreads will only smell if u never take a shower. Lmao

[Opinion Owner]

No, you don't understand dreads. They all smell before long because the insides cannot dry quickly. They retain moisture for a while after you shower and become a breeding ground for bacteria. Google it.

[Quisat]

So how can avoid it from bacteria build up?

[Opinion Owner]

You can't.

[Quisat]

a1stop-natural-home-remedy-treatment.com/

[Opinion Owner]

Oh yeah, taking a vinegar shower sounds awesome. lol

[Quisat]

Lmao