Is it a turn-off if the girl is a virgin?

I have been dating this guy who's btw 10 years older than me. So he's pretty much more experienced in every way and well-settled in his life (great job and busy life styles) except finding his right one. We been going out for about a month and I really like him. It was great at the start until he withdrew himself lately because he found out I might be leaving australia in about 2 years time and may never come back (at least that's what he told me why he didn't hang out with me much recently). But I didn't want this to be end. So one day I invited him over to my place and after watching some dvds he kissed me and one thing led the other, we ended up naked in bed. He knew I was a virgin so he didn't expect me to have any moves while trying to guide me thru.even tho for most of times I found myself akwardly laying on the bed without knowing what to do. I wasn't very much relaxed and enjoyed but he seemed all excited and in the end he helped himself, we didn't do it in the end because he politely asked me and I said no. After that, he didn't contact me and it's been 4 days, I couldn't help wondering if me being a virgin (inexperienced sexually) can be a turn-off for guys like him. I know this kind of question really depends on people and situations. But I felt insecure of the our situation, it's like the guy already told me he felt pointless to hang out with me because I might be leaving, but I still initated contacts and ended up getting closer 'physically'. I'm so pathetic am i?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, I'm going to try to answer this in a correct manner. Being a virgin is not a turn anyway. Now I will tell you that having sex with a virgin is never going to be what the guy was hoping for, so there is no need to be concerned with that. No, your NOT pathetic, your inexperienced. Now what I am going to tell you, might not be what you want to hear. The reason this guy has not talked to you in the last few days is because you teased him. It really does not matter who started things off at your place that day, because YOU ended up naked in bed with this guy. The only way this could be different is if he forced you, but you mentioned nothing that leads me to believe that happened. Anyway, like I said you ended up in bed with him, so you lead him to believe that you were going to have sex with him, and when he asked you said NO. Now, in no way shape or form am I telling you to go run off and give this guy some just so he will spend time with you until you leave. When your ready, your ready, just make sure that's what you really want.

    • They did have sex though, she didn't tease him?? Well that is what I read, and that is how I gave her a answer!

    • I must have read it wrong, I read it as they got close then she said "no". My bad

    • You didn't read anything wrong, that is what happened

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah, if you know your not ready to have sex, you probably shouldn't be getting naked and climbing into bed with a guy. It is a slap to the face when you take it that far and just stop. In the future, don't go that far, stop and expect them to take it as a grain of salt. The first time with someone, if you care about them is special, even if they try and hide it behind the whole "I'm a man, I don't have feelings" facade, so if your not ready to go for it and you take it that far, you will most likely end up alienating them.

  • A guys biggest apprehension about a girl being a virgin is that she's not going to want to have sex with him.

    You made that a sad reality by tantalizing him in to bed, getting naked, and then turning him down for sex.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly dear since he new you might be leaving with the way you worded your question it seems like he towards the end of your relationship before you had sex, that is all he wanted from you was sex and to take your virginity, and well he won unfortunately. He may be just one of those many dicks you will come across in life, if he really liked you kind of loved he would try to make such a long distance relationship work even if you stay just good friends write, email, webcam, something! Why were you so, lets say dumb to give it to a guy you new you might not be seeing? It sucks you will always remember your first time like this, I wouldn’t say he isn’t calling you because you were bad in bed or being a virgin is a turn off he isn’t calling you because he got what he wanted now he is done. For me the first time I had sex was 9 months ago after I met the guy I currently am about to move in with and we are serious for each other however when it came to the first time I didn’t just lay there like a fish, growing up I read so many of my mom and sisters Cosmopolitan magazines, had such a open mom and advanced friends, I role played as a teen on the internet, plus I had seen enough sex scenes in movies I new what to do and I took control actually, but you will get less stiff after a couple more times just don’t be a whore… and even though it may be to late make sure the next time you are ready.

    • Read it a little closer, word for word she said....... "we didn't do it in the end because he politely asked me and I said no"........I copied and pasted this comment directly from her statement. So once again She teased him...

    • Show All
    • I'm not sure what he may have guided her threw, but once again this is a direct quote taken from her post."I wasn't very much relaxed and enjoyed but he seemed all excited and in the end he helped himself, we didn't do it in the end because he politely asked me and I said no." It seems to me that as she said "he helped himself".....but then again you never know maybe I am wrong.

    • Sorry for all the confusion. I shud have make myself clear. We didn't have sex but he kinda suggested but I said no because it's my first time and wanted to save it for next time when I'm more ready. I didn't tease him intentionally I guess I didn't think much until he wanted to have sex. And guess what happened today?! he called me and asked if I'd be free on this sat so we cud hang out. Who knows what's gona happen and whether he's starting to get serious or jus being playful. But really thanks to you

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