My mom copies my sense of style, down to the last detail. How do I deal with it?

[Anonymous]

My mom is 62. I am 25. For as long as I can remember (since I was a preteen), my mom has worn the same clothes as me. When I was 14, I wore Aeropostale and Hollister and she used to buy exactly the same outfits and wear them on herself. It looked strange because we would go out looking like twins.

In my late teens she kept doing it. It's not just the same style, but exactly the same garments. She would see me wearing something, then go out and get exactly the same thing. When I would politely notice it, she would get defensive so I learnt not to bring it up.

This also happens with makeup brands. I'll get into one brand, and my mom will buy from the same brand. Then I'll switch to another brand and she also switches. Everything I get, she gets. The other day, we went coat shopping and she said she wanted to buy a coat that looked like mine, so I suggested she get it in a different colour but similar style. I don't want to be my mom's twin! But she said she wanted one in the same colour and style as mine.

How do I cope with this? I've tried to bring it up with her or suggest nice alternatives but she gets angry and defensive and shouts at me.

[Anonymous]

Why does it matter? She’s probably insecure, maybe about her age or her own fashion sense, and wants to look good and modern or she envies you. Either way at this point she’s obviously not going to change so just accept it, who gives a f anyway. Really. If you absolutely can’t then either stop telling her where you buy things or start getting stuff from thrift stores so she can’t get the same things. I think that’s petty though, but I whatever.

[Biancam13]

Your mother obviously admires your sense of style, or envies you. Or wants to be closer to you. Pick one.

[Biancam13]

Also, look into enmeshment. Sometimes mothers who do this with their daughters are "enmeshing" with them.

[JohnK123]

Huh why did ur mom do that tho…?

was it bc she wanted to feel more connected with u since the bigger age gap?

[Sofi-a1997]

Don't bring it up with her because that'll make her embarrassed which is likely why she gets angry. I would distance myself because that's pretty weird. Or, if she's a good mother to you otherwise, maybe just try and gently suggest outfits that would look good on her, that aren't the same as yours. Make sure to compliment her, she obviously values your taste.

[kylee2437]

Who cares? That whole “she’s copying me” mindset is so middle school.

[hugo135]

Is it that deep?

[Danny_dan92]

By not giving a fuck