It’s extremely annoying. I don’t wear revealing clothing at all, but she’s so uptight about what I wear.
She won’t even let me wear leggings without wearing a jacket? Most of my clothes I’ve owned for a long time yet she’s never had an issue with them until now?
I feel bad and really insecure about everything I wear now. I don’t understand what my mom sees as inappropriate and appropriate and it’s frustrating me
She won’t even let me wear shorts anymore? Why does my mom have to make this a whole argument, I just want to wear what I’m comfortable with and think looks good on me
Why does my mom keep acting like everything I choose to wear is inappropriate?
Hello!🙂So at first I smiled to myself when I could only see your question without a description. I assumed that this is probably a young girl who is in fact wearing revealing clothing... or borderline revealing clothing... and is being a typical teenage girl.
But actually, reading the details... that's not what this is. The part that is concerning to me isn't so much that she's trying to get you to not wear revealing clothing as much as the CHANGE.
So, it's one thing to have a mother who is unreasonably strict when it comes to what she considers revealing. But usually, the same mother who doesn't want you to wear shorts... would have always felt that way. I would expect that this would have been an ongoing battle with her for awhile because, a conservative mother would likely have had the same views forever. Why the change? What's different now?
So I think one of the important factors is HOW FAST this change happened?
So, if last summer she had no problem with any of it but this summer she has a problem with everything... then I would think It's a matter of your age.
If it was like a "last year was different than this year" situation then I would say that (for whatever reason) your mother now sees you as "more grown up" insofar as you being seen sexually by guys. If you've had a growth spurt, or changed your style to be more adult, or developed significantly larger breasts than you had last year.
My first hypothesis is that SOMETHING made your mother all of a sudden go "Damn... my little girl is becoming a woman... and guys are gonna be trying to... whatever".
I am not overly confident I'm right, in part because I think you would likely not be confused if you, in fact do look much different than when your mom didn't seem to mind what you wore. Also... it still doesn't seem to fit that the same mother who is so worried about what you wear now... used to care so little by comparison.
I actually do have another hypothesis. It is particularly more likely If the change was quite sudden---like this week she's cool, next week she's not. I... just... don't feel right posting it publicly. in part because I don't think it was anywhere near "on your radar" when you posted this question. And I don't wanna put this suggestion out there publicly.
If you'd like, shoot me a private message and I'll let you know there. I'm honestly not trying to creep on you. Just... yea... not gonna post that here.
In my experience asking a lot of questions sometimes helps. What exactly will be the negative effect of me wearing XYZ? Talking about general ideas is better than just fighting about each individual piece. I still remember when my mother tried to convince me that listening to metal and similar genres causes aggression and is generally dangerous. Even though I was the meekest most quiet teen imaginable, so I would probably benefit from a little extra aggression :-D Some people just do not adjust easily to all the new stuff. I am myself from the age before leggins were acceptable as the final layer on top and not just as underwear. In my humble opinion leggins are a bit too form revealing to be a good choice in any even partially formal setting like a school. I am pretty sure I would already be laughed at for that and I am not even a parent yet. Who knows what crazy new trend I will have to endure 15-20 years from now :-D You may be able to find weakness in her argument and turn something she says in general into a case to support your choice. Or maybe she will not respond to arguments because she "just feels it isn't right". In that case, there is no avoiding a constant negotiation. In a few years, both of you will probably change your views on such matters. Today I bring up the metal music thing when I want to embarrass my mother because she now understands how ridiculous her claims were. Nothing I could have said would have convinced her back then though...
My moms the same way. I play video games Every once in a while and most of the ones I play aren’t even violent but she thinks video games are going to make me violent and a school shooter or something?
Also the leggings weren’t something for school, leggings are against the dress code I was wearing them just out since we were getting ice cream and I had no idea what else to wear since she disapproved of me wearing shorts even though it was really hot
Did you try to bring up actual evidence to explain that we now know the video game violence does not cause any real life behavior? Not everyone will respond to evidence, but its worth trying first. What did she want you to wear? long jeans or something like that?
I had the same thing with my mom to a small degree when I was a teenager. She didn't like some of my clothes. I would either wear them when she wasn't around or sometimes defiantly wore them, but that never ended well.
It's a teen thing to somewhat rebel and apparel is one of the easiest ways to do it. Is the clothes thing really a cross you want to die on? Meaning fight about a lot?
I'm of the school of thought that parents are there to both teach you and protect you. So it would help not to always be quick to dismiss it as what you think it is.
Did you ask her why? I'd advise you to limit the amout of validation you seek on the internet. Go straight to horse's mouth. Ask her why? You want to understand what she does and says, ask her why? Not in a why won't she let me do whatever, way... unless that's the answer you're looking for. But in a genuine attempt to understand why. And you may not like the reasons. Or it may just shine a light into what she feels her duties are as your mother.
Girl, because these moms wants to control us and also they are jealous of our youth. Especially if they compare your looks with their past versions. I remember when I was your age, my mom will criticize me for simply keeping my hair open. She'll mock my open hairs or even my pony tail, will tell me to make braids or bun instead. She'll tell me to wear traditional Indian dress more often like those old aunties. It was so annoying. She always told me I looked like a clown even though everyone used to call me a beautiful model.
I deem you should [meticulously] peruse the following information here: My mom deprecates certain apparel; of course, maybe you should just... expound why you like that piece of clothing. She deems it rebarbative and meretricious; and/or cthonic. Conceivably, you might have to start small... Prior to dying a part of your hair or adding colourful extensions, [for me, I yearn 2 b a scene kid; hence I would adjoin a piece of rainbow cheetah print har xtensions;] start off by donning hair accessories. If u want 2 shop @ hot topic, or another store, tell your mum u r going 2 a friend's house 2 consort, but y'all can drive (with yur compeer/acquaintance's mum or dad) 2 the mall or a boutique; be sure to start small, do NOT obtain all at once. Start off with a top, bottom, shoes, and [a few, and I say a FEW] accessories and misc. [of your choice], obtain some stickers in a diary to jot down your thoughts and ideas. Do NOT be TOO surreptitious, else it would be 1) morally wrong, and 2) sceptical 4 your mum. Your mum will swiftly perceive your connivance if you’re too furtive... Be sure to be frank and open, else it will insinu8 that u r being mysterious and not honest. B prudent that your mother knows what is best 4 u. Just start off with a small approach, if u hav 2 go full on, ask ur mum y she deems that. Even if she opines it as inappropriate, u should still b able 2 garb how u like and NOT hav your mum dictate what u can and cannot wear! But 2 answer your question, she may/might [conceivably] presume that what u wear might attract others and in the wrong way, it is best to calmly expound it all. If she will not listen 2 u [which 4 me is mostly/always the case,], then just listen, if u b “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”, she might understand better. Albeit she does not, will not let you don the attire u like, and it tarnishes your self-expression, she can still be more understanding if u give her time and perceive her POV and c things from her perspective.
Don’t shave your private part all of it off. And I’m not sure how your mom would know that?
Regardless it itches because the hair is growing because you shave it off to close to the skin. When they wanna grow they need to poke hole through the skin from the inside. Down there, the hair is also thicker.
Let them grow tiny bit and trim them. Waxing or shaving them completely off is not only unnatural is also not good.
Those hairs are there for a reason. Don’t need to she then full grown either.
Regardless I coach a lot of people. And I coach you for free. And I’ve lost my seminar events. Regardless 2 secret of life I’ll tel you. If you argue with you mom or dad too much. You have a lot of back luck in life ad a lot of problems in other parts. Is one of universal laws. I don’t wanna bore you but keep blabbering.
But trust me time goes quick! I’m in Thailand haven’t seen my parents for over 5 years. I can’t leave because of all these dumb regulations and jabs and blah blah..
What I’m saying to you. You won’t be 15 (a teen forever) And all these argument will play in your head like a broken record as you get older. And time is extremely short.
Honestly I think I was 16 2 years ago. I remember high school well and in details.
Love you mom, don’t fight with her. Don’t need to change her, understand her. And find ways to make her happy. You’ll see how your life will turn around.
Because she knows that if you wear things that attract more male attention you're more likely to go down the road of getting pregnant by some dude. And then she will be forced to be your baby's mom & grandma which is practically a prison sentence to someone who was just a few years away from getting their own kid to grow up and become an adult who is going to move out and have a life of her own ELSEWHERE.
Plus she doesn't want you to get hurt which is going to quickly happen if you mess with boys unless you're a whore. If you're a whore it would take you longer to figure out the negative side of things. She doesn't think you're a whore so she's trying to look out for you.
And yes, I'm sure you believe that it's your right to wear whatever you want to. Till you're 18 and paying rent to live in your mom's place that's not really true.
@Cutiepiee Yes, anything could but the ones who are trying to draw attention will get more attention. She probably knows that better than you because she actually grew up already and went through everything you haven't yet. Life isn't 100% fair either... some things just are the way they are.
@doopayo "Well I’m not in control of other peoples actions" -- true. However your own actions have meaning even if you think that they don't and your mom realizes this. When you're 18 you're free to try out your own theories on what's best.
I was 18 when my mom allowed me to by the kind of clothes I wanted from where I wanted. She even every day chose what I would wear for the day.
I believe kids should have to choose their own clothes as long as its apropriate to their age and image. I mean for boys, brands of clothes that support criminal activity and for girls, can't explain it but i know when I see it.
In the movie blindside, Lean said to her adopted son what I always wanted my mom to hear. She said everybody needs to chose clothes where they see themselelves in.
I think your mom and starting to notice that you're starting to become a beautiful woman if you are 100% honest in with everything that you say then I would have to say she's probably a little bit jealous or Envy or she's just being way over protective which usually turns out to be the wrong thing to do because it's like The Preacher's Daughter who's the one who's having the most sex in this world The Preacher's Daughter because she was told not to and when living under their parents roof had very strict guidelines I see your mom doing that to you too to where you're going to Rebelle everything everything that she didn't want you to become and her mind because in all reality she won't even know who you are because she's never took the time to communicate with you he was always communicating to you
From previous posts, there is a bit of friction there.
There needs to be a bit of give and take, also some honest sitting down and talking.
Find out what realistic boundaries there are with your outfits, what is ‘yeah that’s fine’ , ‘only if xxx’ , ‘no way on earth’
i have had some similar conversations and no doubt will have more, it’s meeting not quite half way, say 25% of the way, then gradually getting the trust working and the 50%, more trust and 75% of you get your own way in clothing.
Sounds like she’s struggling adjusting to you becoming more mature and moving closer to adulthood. This is a common thing for parents to struggle with. That being said it really makes for undue conflict and frustration for the kids of the parent. Sorry you’re experiencing that
You're at a weird age. When you're a kid you can wear those things and most people won't sexualize you (although some things I think they shouldn't wear) and when you're an adult it's okay to sexualize you. But at 14(sometimes younger even) to 17 you're still a minor but with a more adult body. Most people would agree that they don't want minors being sexualized and looked at that way, and so I think she's just trying to protect you from predators who want to age you before your time. I wouldn't say I personally agree to restrict to that extent, but I definitely understand and you should respect her. But sit down with her and ask her to let you know what kind of things she's okay with you wearing, and ask her to get you more of those things as well.
she's trying to protect you. Lots of creeps in this world. Nothing wrong with what she's doing but i do admit, it coes seem like shee trying to control you, my mom does the same. My mom never even lets me wear sleeveless dresses lmao. She wants me to dress like a granny. Just wait until you're 18, you seriously can't do anything about this for now.
Also, if your mom just recently started on you about clothes you have had for a long time... Unfortunately I could be because your being watched by someone and she knows. Or it could be because your own mother has started to hate you for being beautiful and young. Doesn't happen a lot. But it does happen sometimes.
Oh but your 15, so the last ones more then likely not the reason.
Parents let little kids wear all kinds of stupid shit. And oddly inappropriate shit because they don't see their kids how others see them.
Recently it looks like your mom has started realizing how people view you. Not as a child but as a woman. And is now worried that you will be in danger because of that.
You are young. And young people never think that kinda stuff will happen to them. Doesn't matter how pretty or ugly, skinny or fat. Anyone can be taken and used and thrown in a gutter. So give your mom a little slack. she's just being a mom.
I'm sure your mom is trying to be in the right but she really should communicate with you better. Instead of telling you it's just no, she should be explaining why it's inappropriate.
I suggest that you try and communicate with her. Tell her you're confused and ask her why all of a sudden she is so strict with your clothing. As a mother it is her job to tell you why and be more open with you.
Because she knows you’re a beautiful young ladies and she knows guys are dogs. I admit all guys are dogs and most of us have bad intentions. I was one of those guys but I’ve changed. Bad intentions as in treating women like a piece of meat. Women aren’t meat, especially if she treats you well. There’s women who treated me well and I treated them like garbage and I regret it. It haunts me to this day
She’s your mom. She just loves you and cares about you. Appreciate it. A lot of parents don’t give a shit about their kids. There are also a lot of creepy older men that might prey on you so she worries.
She loves you You can wear whatever you want come you reach 18. Hold on a little it’s 3 more years.. just watch some Tom and Jerry ( well I don't know I’m old is this generation watching Tom and Jerry?)
Your mom has live a lot more years in the world and accumulated a lot more knowledge and wisdom. The only question here is... why does every ignorant teenager have to make all the mistakes to learn the truth for themselves rather than learning form people who have already made them?
Because humans are retardrd... And society and media is brainwashing and making them more and more retardrd... Only woke people who see through the bullshit know we should let our children have freedom
If I had a daughter she will have complete freedom to do whatever she wants aslong as it isn't endangering her life... For example... Can't go out at night until the age of 15 or 16 (must be with friends and don't go in dark alleys)
IL tell her that and educate her the effects of liver damage.. if she still chooses to do it she will have to live with consequences of actions.. adults know about the dangers too yet they still fuck their liver up. Can't stop everyone from regret
Also there will be a limit on how much she can drink so no damage wil done. You have to drink a lot and for many years before damage starts. By then she'll be an adult
Its jus that in my opinion, when I was 14 I was an adult in my mind and I haven't really matured any more since, I feel like my body and mind was developed. fully by that age.. so if I made a choice to drink then... It would have been just as a mature choice as one I make now so I wouldn't put it on my mum or blame her for letting me because I was basically smart enough to make choices for myself by then so I'd only blame myself if I got some kind of liver damage
You don't understand what's hoeish and what's not🙄. Gtfoh I call bullshit. Stop giving your mom a hard time she has your best interests at heart and most likely she knows a little more about men and the way they think.
My parents were like that with my sister. I decided that I'll let my girl dress how she's comfortable. I hope you get to dress how you want sooner than later.
Your mom sounds old school, sooner or later your going to want to wear what is the style, she as well allows you to wear it cause sooner or later most teens end up sneaking it happens
Sorry you're having a hard time with you mom. Just breathe easy, you'll be old enough to be on your own soon enough. Then you can wear leggings to your hearts content.
Parents who care about their kids will let their kid have freedom. I think she sees her more as a puppy or something she owns and controlls like her property
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