What means more to you, to be told you have a beautiful appearance, or are a beautiful person?

[journeyman1126]

The media is filled with coverage of beautiful women. From Angelina Jolie to Zuckerburg's bride, we're fascinated by pretty girls.

So when your man says you're beautiful, it must feel good.

But what do you think if he says you're a beautiful person?

If you've been together for a week or ten years, does it make a difference?

How does the statement change importance over time?

When we've first met and he says I look beautiful is better than telling me I'm beautiful inside.

It's better to hear I'm a beautiful person when we start dating than admiring my beauty outside.

Updates

+1 y

Awesome answers so far. I'm too tired to write a decent sentence, but keep 'em coming and I'll ask better relationship Q's tomorrow.

[AllDay]

When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent of his skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.

- Lisa Unger

I think it does make a difference if its a week or ten years.

All of these celebrities won't look half as good ten years from now (except for a select few)

I think if someone said it to their SO and meant it after 10 years would be the sweetest thing

[journeyman1126]

Wow.

New author for the reading list, for sure.

Thanks.

I think the lasting love that would come from truly perceiving someone would lend itself to knowing best when to compliment the beauty we experience.

[AllDay]

I like it!

[skibunny]

Which book of hers is this from? :)

[journeyman1126]

Beautiful Lies, according to one forum on tumblr. Lots of good quotes from Unger.

[goldgunsgirls]

When I'm first starting to date someone, being told I'm attractive is definitely more pleasing to me haha. Maybe that's cause I have slightly low self-esteem sometimes. I dunno. But as I get to know the person better, being complimented on my personality is so much more important.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

To be honest, I think it would mean more to me if my guy said I'm a beautiful person, but only if he means it. If I put in a little effort, I can look 10X more beautiful on the outside whenever I want to. But I haven't always liked who I am as a person. I wasn't always as nice and easy going as I am now, and I've worked hard to make myself a better person so that I can love who I am. If someone were to love me for the positive changes I've made, or would just notice at all, that would mean the world to me and I'd know that I've made myself better.

[toulouse]

B.

Hes eiher desperate, or he's attracted to me externally- if he's 'interested in me beyond friends, in the fist place. If he's desparate I'm not interested, if he is attracted to me, than of course, So id rather hear, he's attracted to my personality.. after he's known me long enough, for that to mean something.

Of course, a lot of people understand that, & they can still lie to get sex, either way. but then id have sex because I wanted to have sex. nt because a guy thinks I'm beautiful, are that my brain is beautiful , so w/e.

[journeyman1126]

A sophisticated viewpoint.

[may04]

When we first meet, I'd like them to say I have a beautiful appearance. It will let me know they find me attractive and I'm not getting friendzoned (yes I've been friendzoned, it went hand in hand with being a "wonderful person")

After its established that there's a romantic attraction, it's nice to know that they like who I am as a person too.

The best would be both at the same time :D

But I voted A, due to the wording of the poll

[DebiPie]

A & B. Now throw some C in on that will ya! Because it depends on the day & how I'm feeling. Some days a girl just needs to hear she looks good, beautiful. But it really is more important that your guy believes you are a beautiful person. All the outward beauty in the world means nothing if you are a mean, ugly bum on the inside.

[MissShaniaLyn]

i think I would want to be both in a way, I don't want him to think of me as an ugly troll but I also don't wanna have this ugly personality, I would rather have an amazing personality and okay face rather then an amazing face and an okay personality.

[funtimes21]

For sure B...I don't love myself yet (weight wise, sadly), and when someone says I'm pretty, cute, whatever, it does feel good and it's nice but I don't take it seriously...so for him to say I'm a beautiful person would mean so much more to me because he would have taken the time to get to know me and see who I really am instead of basing it off what I look like.

[caligirl3]

when a guy says you are beautiful it means he wants to do you basically but when he says he likes your personality it means he actually noticed me for me and not just my looks.

[Anonymous]

When we first meet for him to tell be I am beautiful on the outside. He doesn't know me well enough to tell me I am a great person. Plus I know I am a good person, I do my best to be one and I think it would be really nice for him to tell me I'm beautiful.

[62893]

it means more to me if he thinks I'm a beautiful person...but it does certainly feel good to know that he thinks I'm beautiful too haha

[Anonymous]

I'd rather be told I'm beautiful on the outside. I already know I'm a good person, and I'd feel like he wasn't attracted to me very much if he only talked about how good I am on the inside.

[beastman88]

i don't really care what anybody thinks. I know I look good, that's all that matters. drive yourself crazy if you cared too much of what other people think.

[Anonymous]

I would say A