I got piercings and now my boyfriend is absolutely hurting me intentionally?

[Anonymous]

So I went out and done what I wanted to do for a change, and something I've always wanted to do. I got a lip pierced and my nose. They're small diamond studs on each, very small so they aren't big and sticking out etc. Anyway, my boyfriend seems like he keeps trying to intentionally hurt my feelings? For example, the things he has said:

*I caught him talking to his cousin, and he didn't think I could hear him* "Only certain girls pull it off, and I don't like them."

"Idc if you like them, they're sh*tty."

"I don't like them, and I'm making it clear."

He continually says stuff around that, and its making me feel real bad about myself. He had an ex "Rae" and she had a lip ring in the center, and he always talked about how he thought hers looked so good etc, but mine is apparently really sh*tty. Mines not in the center though, mines on the bottom left of my lip.

What should I do -_-

[Anonymous]

Well, he is just stating his opinion. And he said it when he didn't think you were around, you were eaves dropping. So, if it hurt your feelings that time, it's your fault.

When he told you, "Idc if you like them, theyre sh*tty", & "I don't like them, and I'm making it clear," well, he was just telling you how he feels. Do you want him to lie to you & say he loves them?

As he said, he thinks some girls can pull it off. Just like some guys can pull off the biker thing or the preppy thing. Same thing.

But what matters is whether you like it. If you do, then tell him you like it and if he doesn't that's OK, you didn't ask for his permission & you are not going to ask him again what he thinks about it.

Then leave it alone.

Remember, anytime you ask someone their opinion, be ready for anything. I'm not saying that you even asked him for it, he sounds like he'd tell you anyway. That said, consider if you want to be with someone who is going to tell you what he thinks, good or bad. If it will hurt your feelings, then you may not want to stay with him. If you do, then toughen up & speak up, because he's going to keep doing this.

[xSofiax]

If someone your with is intentionally trying to hurt you, then they are an abusive partner and you need to dump them.

That might even be the reason why he's doing it.

It's very controlling anyway for him to try and force you to change something you like just because he doesn't like it, relationships are about compromises and if something as small as a few piercings can change that, then he clearly isn't worth the trouble.

You deserve someone better, dump him and find someone who would treat you properly (there is never ever ever any excuse for someone to intentionally hurt their partner).

[Stacyzee]

He is being disrespectful.

He is dating you the person, and not your piercings.

Its probably one of those things that will take him getting used to, in order for him to like it. It is a big change. He probably met his ex. that way, which is why her having it wasn't such a big deal.

Confront him and stand your ground.

Let your voice be heard.

Tell him he is being disrespectful and plain rude.

If he doesn't take you seriously, don't talk to him for a little while (so he will realize how serious you are).

[heavensgift2girls]

When someone changes their looks they need to either know their partner is alright with it, or make sure it is important enough to them that they are willing to break up with that partner if it comes down to it. Being free to do whatever you want to your body, doesn't mean it doesn't effect the other person. Nor should you pretend that it doesn't.

Either take them out, or dump him. Are you more concerned about keeping your piercings, or about keeping your boyfriend happy? He is free not to like them and to make his feelings known. He shouldn't have to pretend to like them. If he did something that you thought made him look awful you would likely try and get him to change back to the way he was. Don't pretend that you wouldn't either, because anyone with a spine would.

[Asker]

There is a difference between not liking something, and just completely being rude about it. No, I'm not removing the piercings. I've wanted them for over 3 years now, and I finally grew enough guts to go through and get them. No, I'm not breaking up with him either. We've been together for well over a year now, and I'm not just throwing it away over something like this. I was questioning about how to go about it, not to simply give one up.

[heavensgift2girls]

You didn't give any examples to show him being completely rude. Talking to other people about how he truly feels, while he doesn't think you are listening isn't bad. In fact that is completely normal. If you have made up your mind, then he either needs to get over it or break up with you. There is no other way for this to end.

[Asker]

Throwing away a long term relationship over being pierced, even though theyre not permanent? Lol that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever even heard of.

[heavensgift2girls]

You already said you are not going to get rid of the piercing, so it is permanent. Either it is something that he can deal with or it isn't, there is no in between. If he no longer finds you attractive because of it, then that is a big problem for your relationship.

[TheUglyOne]

Tell him to knock it off. If he keeps trying to hurt you, you will need to consider the relationship.

[Blue_eyed_beauty]

Tell him it's your body, not his. You have the right to do whatever you want and he just needs to get over it and deal with it.

He has the right to his opinion but it is unacceptable for him to continuously hurt your feelings like that on purpose. He needs to grow up and if I were you, I would definitely let him know how you feel. If he really cared about you then he wouldn't want to make you feel bad about yourself. If he is that much of jerk then I say get rid of him and find a better guy. But definitely talk to him first and see how he responds.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

distance yourself from him.no guy has the right to be rude to you and put you down. Some of these comments are basically saying a guy has the right to disrespect his girlfriend when she no longer looks the way he'd like.that isn't OK with me.do what you want and if he doesn't like it, you do and so will another guy lol

[NoOneListens21]

it's hurting your feelings I would suggest you talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. It's up to you. pleasing you or your man. I doubt he's intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Maybe he hopes by in saying this you will remove them.

[nermalinda]

You should break up with him and get with someone who likes you for who you are a treats you respectfully.

[Anonymous]

Every action gets a reaction and he is not reacting well to what you did. Girls always think that they can do what they like with their bodies and everyone should love it but that is not reality. You will probably have to break up because I doubt that you will be able to change his view.

[Asker]

"You will probably have to break up because I doubt that you will be able to change his view." You're ridiculous. Lol. Why throw away a relationship over something that may just take time getting use to, or throwing a relationship away in general. I was asking how to go about the situation, not just a reason to jump to a break up statement.

[Opinion Owner]

Takes two to make a fight? It sounds like you are willing to throw a relationship away over them. I would f***ing hate them. Why don't you do him and favor and end it?

[Asker]

Why would I end it? Lol. That's silly. Its not doing him a favor, because he doesn't want to break up.

[Opinion Owner]

I always respect my SO's opinion and would not change my appearance to something that she did not like and likewise I would not change into something that I am not just because she wanted me to. You two do not sound as though you respect each other and I doubt that you are together much longer.

[Asker]

That's your opinion, we'll be together for much longer than you think. Just because you respect someones opinion doesn't mean you shouldn't do something that makes you happy. Put yourself first for a change. But I love him, he loves me, I know we're not going to break up. Would be stupid to just break up over something that's not even permanent. You're making it a bigger deal than I am, and you're not even in the relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

That is exactly what I am talking about. Feel free to put yourself first. Maybe it will work with him--for awhile.

[Asker]

The thing is, I always put him first. ALWAYS. I make sure he's happy, before myself. This is the first time I've done anything out of the ordinary to make myself happy.

[Opinion Owner]

You did not say that before and it doesn't really matter that I would hate them. It only matters if he can accept them of which I am skeptical. Hard to believe that he would hate them today and love them tomorrow or you take them out which doesn't sound likely either.

[Asker]

To clarify, I just had a full discussion with him about it. He stated that it would be silly to break up over a piercing. Even though he doesn't like them, he respects that I wanted them. I asked if he wanted me to get rid of them and he said only to get rid of them if I wanted to. He also said, "I love you the same way I did a week ago, nothings change, and a piercing won't change it regardless. If we broke up over piercings, then that would mean I never loved you, but I do."

[Asker]

So I guess your theory of us breaking up isn't working out as you expected ;D

[stillagoodgirl]

If he hates it that much and you don't wana break up just don't wear it around him

[Asker]

He's fine with it now. He likes them. He said they actually look real good now that he's gotten use to it.

[Anonymous]

That's not rifht you need an intervention or break up

[Asker]

Its all good now. He loves the piercings. :)

[Opinion Owner]

:)

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have a choice between removing your piercings or removing him? Personally I hate piercings and tattoos.

[Anonymous]

You need to get away from this guy.