How do you seduce a Japanese girl in Japan? What are the social conventions one needs to consider?

[Anonymous]

Every culture has its own social convention when it comes to love. If you do not respect them, its easy to come up as rude. What in some countries is acceptable, may be considered harassment in others.

What are the social conventions one needs to observe -as a foreigner- in order to seduce a Japanese woman in Japan?

[Anonymous]

Here are some things. I lived in Japan for a while

1. the average Japanese girl is far shyer than the average Western girl
2. however Japanese people are much more concerned with social image than Westerners. So don't be surprised if a Japanese girl is much more talkative, or much less polite or much more sexual, in private once you get to know her than she is in public
3. openly talking about sex in public is taboo even though there's a weird sex industry which openly advertises. contradiction i know
4. dating culture isn't as formalized as in the states. but I think that's true of every developed country.
5. people generally can date who they want without family/social backlash.
6. white people are popular. Some Japanese people (especially older ones) find black people ugly but it's not a hatred. It's just more like a disgust. And many Japanese people like black guys but not as popular as whites. Other Asians aren't viewed as special really, apart from hot South Korean celebs
7. There may be cultural problems because Japanese people tend to romanticize Western countries and Westerners, and so they might get disappointed. Read about 'Paris syndrome' for an extreme example of that
8. cold approaches are much rarer than in the rest. Also, most Japanese people don't speak great English. So you'd be better off trying to meet Japanese girls through work or school or whatever you're doing over there, rather than just randomly in public.
9. Japanese girls are generally patient and understanding at least publicly. You're not going to be accused of harassment unless you actually are following her or groping her or something like that. Not like the West where simply approaching a girl or making a flirty comment can be considered harassment

[Opinion Owner]

than in the West

[COCOCHANEL]

have to disagree with #1. there are so many loud, extremely outgoing girls in japan.

[Socal1]

This is what I know:

My brother who is 28 is stationed at Camp Zama which is right next to Tokyo Prefecture. He parties it up in some of the different hip/cool districts like Shibuya and Ginza. From all of the stories I've heard over the past 4 years, there isn't truly anything different about these women. They only make one kind in all the world. Yes there are some cultural differences, but even those are fading and blurred with each new generation. Especially with Japan evermore adopting western ways. Do your research, learn some Japanese-good luck-and learn some of their etiquette and you'll be good. This is all assuming you plan to woo said girl in Japan. If it's a Japanese girl here, forget everything and treat her exactly like an American girl for that us exactly what she wants to be.

Girls are girls man. A party girl in Japan is the same as party chick in the states and an American prude is the same as a Japanese one. If you're looking for a traditional Japanese women you will likely have to venture deeper into the country and older in age.

[Carveredlund]

In Japan traditional gender roles are still very ingrained into the society. The boys will be expected to ask the girls out, rather than the other way around. I was told by various Japanese girls (senior high to college age) that typically the boy would say that they either like or love them before asking them out. I'm not saying that you need to love them first, it's just that they expect to be told that very early on.

[COCOCHANEL]

in japan girls are usually the ones who tell the boy they like them and ask the boy to date them. especially on Valentine's day. some girls don't and so the boy says it. i'm one of those. my previous boyfriends said they weren't sure how i felt about them but they just hoped it just meant i was shy.

foreign guy friends had this experience too, the girl told them ”i like you” early on like 2nd or 3rd date

[COCOCHANEL]

well, for the average japanese girl who's open to dating foreigners, i'd say the most important things to keep in mind are:

- be respectful
- be chivalrous
- take the lead
- be conservative or at least respect conservative views
- be patient and willing to teach English

[Aizou]

As a foreigner looking to date a Japanese girl
you'll have to be very mindful of who you date.
As some girls here will literally use you as if you
were an accessory.

You may find it somewhat easy to get a girl, as they
also think having a foreign boyfriend is exotic or cool.
But these girls are actually the ones
you want to stay away from.

Many Japanese girls "use" foreign guys for their own benefits
as having a "half" child is very much wanted here.

So if all you're after is sex, then
by all mean, give it a shot.

If you're looking for a real relationship though
you'll have to come up with something original
as I'd imagine is the same everywhere else. ^.~

[SleepyChan]

Just wait until CocoChanel gets here.

[COCOCHANEL]

thanks (^_−)−☆

[SleepyChan]

I knew she would show up! :3

[politicallywrong]

You need tentacles...

[Anonymous]

You can't get that close