A lifeguard at my gym keeps staring into my eyes without a smile and without breaking the eye contact. What are his intentions?

[Anonymous]

One day he was walking past me at the gym and as he looked me in the eyes he couldn't stop staring and ended up almost turning around. Somehow it made quite a huge impact on my emotional state. Or rather my libido... Then i saw him in the mirror, checking me out as he was leaving. Since then every single time he saw me, he was just staring. No smile, no words. I usually look down, but when i look back at him, he's eyes never leave mine. When I was at the swimming pool, his gaze always wondered to me. The signals were rather obvious to me until i found him on Facebook and realised he's been going out with one of the trainers at the gym since, like, forever. I've seen her around and she's a very nice and friendly creature. And size 4 or max 6 with perfect skin, while I'm 8/10 with cellulite and stretch marks (mind you that's important since I'm usually seen there in my swimming suit!) as the pregnancy wasn't too merciful to me. I'm not a family breaker so since i found out i avoid looking at him and I'm preteding total ignorance of his burning presence on my side vision, but i still catch him staring. One time he let me through the gate. I was listening to music very loudly so i barely acknowledged his "all right" and muttered a "hi" or something equally out of place. When i finally sqeezed through the gate, i managed to look up. I wanted to smile, settle some kind of truce between us (maybe just for me as my pride is a little hurt... people think only men have egos!), but what i saw in his eyes stopped me in my tracks. His eyes where kind of empty, or more like... guarded? They didn't look the least friendly, just cautious, kind of tired. I've seen him few times since then and he carries on staring. His girfriend seems to be keeping a strict eye on him too. Every time i come to the window above the swimming pool, she comes to, like she's checking who i look at. I'd like to know if anyone has any idea what's on this guy's mind? Am i imagining it?

[Punkbuster107]

Staring has different implications depending on your culture, but assuming he is an average American male, I wouldn't count on the thoughts in his brain being a very complex mystery in this case.

I'd call this guy a creeper, or pervo, or something like that, and aside from finding him at all physically attractive, you probably would too. Some guys just don't know how to control their eyes or their thoughts, and look at women at a gym or pool the same way they would a dirty magazine. If he were smiling at you, or approaching you to make conversation, the implication would be better, in that he values you as a real human being in real life. Currently, it sounds like he is interested in you as flesh, not even necessarily your entire body, just whatever parts of you he finds stimulating to his internal fantasies.

That probably sounds gross and awkward, but unfortunately it seems the most straight forward answer considering the age we live in and the standards (or lack thereof) modern men too often live by.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion! I live in UK, so he's an avarage Brit, i guess... Yeah, i seem to be more of a traditional kind and usually assume people must want something more than just... well, food for their fantasies...

[Blinkeh]

He's dexter. He wants to get to know you before he kills you

[Asker]

My thoughts exactly! Lol:D

[Purple_Daffodils]

To be honest. I don't know. A similar thing happened to me at gym also. This guy kept starting at me. No smile. Not saying a thing. He was really attractive! And he did it everytime we were at the gym together. Stare. No smile.

Eventually I got tired of wondering. I walked up to him, smiled and asked him to help me move some equipment. He smiled back and helped. Based on his response he's kinda shy.

I say speak to him. Yeah he has a girlfriend. But speak to him to get an idea of whether you're imagining it or if he's into you. At least then you'll know

[Asker]

I don't think i've got enough guts, but I'm sure to settle it somehow. Next time i catch him staring i'll either simply stop and stare back at him and see what he does or i'll come up to him and innocently ask if i know him from somewhere. Depends on my mood;) One way or another it will force him to do something more than stare or just drop it, so i can get some peace of mind...

[Purple_Daffodils]

Good for you :)