I've been texting a girl about 2 weeks. She seems interested in me BUT sometimes im unsure. How am I supposed to know?

[Anonymous]

I've been texting a girl about 2 weeks now which she actually initiated. Its been pretty flirty and pretty much day and night. She seems interested in me BUT I try to steer the conversation toward talking about how she feels and just trying to get her to open up a little and she says she doesn't trust people easily and starts getting defensive saying she's been hurt a lot. I try to respect that and change the subject so she doesn't feel uncomfortable.

I tried to ask her to grab dinner with me a day we were both free but she had plans with friends so it was a no. I want her to open up to me a little because i like everything about her, but she is persistent in not letting me in at all and just keeps the same flirting up. I really like her and would like to keep trying in hopes that she opens up a little and things can progress, but part of me feels like she's just using me to feel better about herself and she just likes the attention I give her. Im going to see her in more of a group setting on Friday but I just feel like everything is stuck and dont really know how to proceed. If Friday goes ok and everything stays the way it has I think Ill try to ask her out again but what do you all think I should do? Do you think she's actually interested or just likes the attention I give her? What do you think?

Updates

+1 y

Her friend has also asked if I was interested in her, I told her more or less, yeah. So there is that too.

[DaniJ]

First of all, Don't say you like everything about her. You don't know anything important. What do you know? her name, her job her friends, maybe her family. Do you know what she cries about at night? Do you know the big secret she has that she's afraid will make you hate her? Do you know what she finds most important in life? When it comes to a relationship, does she expect a man to take the lead, or is she more of the new age-feminism type of girl? What are her religious beliefs, or does she have any? Those are often the most important things to know about a person if you are going to be dating them, and you can't say that you like everything about her until you know everything about her. And everyone will have something about them that you don't like. Nobody is perfect.

Secondly, I've been hurt by guys a lot, so I know how it feels. Each and every time I open up to a guy, I get hurt, and it makes me really hesitant to do it again. What she might need is to know that you care about her as a person more than as a potential girlfriend, and that you are willing to get to know each other first. I'm more likely to trust a friend with my heart than a crush with all the times I've been hurt before.

[Asker]

you're right, what I meant is I like everything SO FAR that I know about her. And I have said to her that I understand and I've definitely been hurt before too and that maybe I can help her feel better about it. Im definitely willing to be patient but I hate this 'stuck' feeling.

[carmprii]

this sounds like how i am with guys >-< i wouldn't know if she likes you or not but usually if you ask a chick for a sincere answer they will give it to you. its better to ask than to try to decipher a girls mind lol.. im indeceive when i am not sure about a guy i become indirect because part of me likes the guy but im not 100 percent sure the guy actually likes me. its hard to bring down a barrier when you have been hurt before. you dont know its a hit it quit it thing or just a guy who is into your looks. or im not comfortable enough to actually go on a date with a guy yet. i can go on and on about many reasons but i hope it eases your mind a bit c: if you she tells you she is interested but still unsure about things than its up to you to stay if you really like her enough to stay and keep trying to woe her until she falls or just move on

[misscocobutter]

From what u have written it sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants. But she is clearly not allowing things to move forward with u. I think at this stage u need to cut off the attention u have been giving her. It will either force her to make more of an effort or she won't in which case u were wasting your time with her anyway.

[Asker]

I have thought about giving her less attention and kinda cutting her off from myself a bit. I just hate playing stupid games like that. But sometimes you have to do it I suppose. Thanks

[misscocobutter]

It's not a game, u haven't got the response u desired. It's actually smart to do this, and shows u have dignity. Either way u win if u ignore her. She is playing with u, play back. That's how it's done

[Knight_Riderzzzzzzz]

@misscocobutter if u like a guy and he doesn't respond, will u ignore him? if yes, why would u ignore him? just to get a reaction out of him? and if he took this as ur lack of interest and he leaves and go to some other girl... then won't u regret ignoring him?

[misscocobutter]

Yes I would ignore him. Why? Because clearly he isn't interested in me and I'm wasting my time. Why would I ignore him? Because I am no longer willing to show interest in someone who is possibly just using me for attention. Would I regret ignoring him? No. Id simply get on with my day

[Knight_Riderzzzzzzz]

@misscocobutter a girl showed me that she liked me (by non verbal signs), i did not clearly figure out at that time that she is interested , we locked eyes for 6-7 seconds and then i smiled at her and she smiled back. if u like a guy and give him non-verbal cues, and he doesn't get it, will u tell him straight face to face that u like him? or will u just take his non interest in non verbal cues as rejection and ignore him after that?

[misscocobutter]

I suppose I'm talking about a guy who I have exchanged non verbal stuff with and there's obvious attraction and it's to the point where we talk and he knows I like him. Like the o. p situation. At the point if he doesn't move things further it needs to be shut down because he is clearly not interested