Girls, would you delete your current ex that you still have feelings for?

Question

Would you keep them in your Facebook/Instagram or whatever website that everyone can see you guys are still virtual friends? Or would you take them off because you wouldn't want to see them seeing someone new, etc. I personally did not move on in that level and my ex hasn't either... so far as I know... but he still gets flirty comments and other pictures from other girls which p*sses me off! Do you think it's worth me taking him off so I can not be p*ssed off at him or should I just leave him? What would you do? Has anyone gone through this? We have mutual friends so I know they will notice and might 'talk'. I would also hate to lose him because I still love him and this would be our form of communication other than a phone. Of course these social networking sites seem to be the death of relationships sometimes in this age.

So do you delete them? Wait it out and might add them back? Or keep them?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It might help you to move on if you delete him. I had to when I broke up with my ex because I knew it would crush me if I saw on my newsfeed that he was in a relationship with another girl. It helped not to think about him and every little thing that he does.

Who cares if anyone talks? It's not their business and everyone has rough things to go through that makes them susceptible to gossip at some point in their life. Besides, don't do things for other people. Do what you have to do to feel better. If deleting him ultimately will do the trick, then do it. If you think you can live seeing other girls hitting on your ex-man, then don't. But if you have to delete him maybe you should explain to him that you are and why you'e doing it.

Munchkins · Accepted Answer

I just deleted mine. You reach a point where you don't care what anyone (including him) thinks. At the end of the day it all depends on what you think is best for you to move on. Yes, you need to move on. It seems as though you're still hoping for that "one day" when he sees the error of his ways and comes back. You'll just be left waiting, or you'll yoyo between relationship/friends with benefits, and when you do finally move on you'll be angry for having wasted so much time (I did that, one year lost). And when he does eventually meet someone new it'll drive you crazy. So decide if you genuinely want to be friends, or if this is you keeping tabs. I think it's best to just move on, start fresh. The relationship ended for a reason.

chnseboi35 · Accepted Answer

I know exactly how you feel. This is exactly the situation I'm in right now except it's worse for me because my ex lives 3 doors down from me and we have a huge majority of friends that are mutual between us.

I know it would kill me to see my ex be in a relationship with someone else, and I do agree that social networking sites are a real relationship-killer nowadays. I don't have the strength to remove her as a friend and our friends would undoubtedly talk. I just hope you have the strength to make the right decision whether it's leaving him as a friend or not.

tyrantfuryre · Accepted Answer

If it's upsetting you, delete him. Otherwise why would you delete him? Can't you still be just friends with him? I'm honestly not trying to insult you by saying this, but I'd say just be mature about it and keep him as a friend. Eventually you'll get over it and move on and you'll still have him as a friend. Everyone wins then. I'm guessing you're still single, which is probably part of the reason this is bothering you. If you were in a relationship (and you could be..) typically this wouldn't bother you or anyone else as much. It's only natural.

meplusabeemer · Answer

This will depend on how the relationship ended. If we ended it amicably and decided to remain friends then I would not delete him from my FB profile. It's still a method of communication and I would still want to keep in touch that way. I probably wouldn't log into those sites as much in the beginning of the break up just so I don't have to see the other girls' comments. It would hurt me too much.

I recently ended a "relationship" and in this one, we do not talk anymore. I deleted his number and email address to avoid any temptation of contact. I ended it amicably but I still have a lot of anger towards him. Due to the circumstances and the way I was treated, I wanted no further contact with him so everything was deleted. I don't care who whispers what or says crap about it. It was my decision and I don't owe anyone an explanation. They do not know what happened or what is in my best interest. Not having him in my life is the better choice and the only person I owe this to is myself.

Anonymous · Answer

i personally have not deleted my ex as a friend from Facebook because I didn't want him to think I was that seriously affected by the breakup and because I thought it would look childish and petty to do so. sometimes though I wish I had because he still shows up on my highlights (even after I hid him from my news feed) and other times I find myself going to his page to see what he's been up to. I feel like all of the above behavior has hindered me from completely getting over him. it also hurts when I see his new girl (and by "new" I mean the girl he started seeing BEFORE we broke up) commenting on his photos, etc. it also doesn't help that he's a Facebook maniac and is constantly updating his status and his photos. this in turn has led me to withdraw somewhat from Facebook. I deleted all my profile info (except for the bare minimum) and don't update my status really at all anymore. anyway, facebok is the least of my problems now that I have to see him in school everyday. because I want to be done with him and not still feel the pain when I see him, I wish I could just delete him from my LIFE altogether...

jenana · Answer

this kind of happened to me, I got a text while I was on holiday from my boyfriend telling me it was over and when I got back he admitted to kissing another girl while he was in my house!

i kept him on msn/Facebook/etc and it hurt when he would always talk to me and tell me about her, he moved on really fast and I deleted him from everything after being fed up of hearing about his new squeeze. I felt so relieved and I found it to be the best way of moving on.

i think you should delete him, but not if there's a chance you both can patch things up and give it another go :)

i hope this helps :)

AllisonNatasha1 · Answer

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Hansford · Answer

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swtlostchingrl82587 · Answer

Well I keep my ex on my Facebook for a while as friends but I couldn't help but look at his profile and see what he was doing and it kills me to read about his life when I'm no longer in in it

so I just deleted him as my friend

we both kept our profiles private so It's a good thing because he can't m profile w.o being my friend and I can't see his profile w.o being his friend.

I still really love my ex and have strong feelings tied to him but I know it's best to let go and move on and deleting him was a good thing for me because It makes it much easier to move on and heal.

at least I don't have to get jealous of him talking to his female friends or him making a flirtatious comment about something.

sometimes it's better that way..

Anonymous · Answer

My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have 2 kids, 17 year old and a 7year old, we got married at a young age. I am constantly struggling with his addiction to drugs. When he is himself there is no better person that I would rather be with. But he is going trough his moments I just want to run and never look back, he doesn’t give me any emotional support and love. When I talk to him and tell him that I need more he tells me that I am loosing it and that I’m the reason he’s always upset and in a bad mood, we don’t laugh or have fun anymore. He calls me demanding and that I am trying to control him because I don’t trust him. It is very very hard to have trust in someone who doesn’t seem to care about you or the marriage anymore. We have gotten into a lot of bad arguments and at times it has become physical , mostly on my part. I truly deeply love and probably always will but I’m just tired of the life we live and I can’t seem to bring myself to walk away. He is a good guy and deserves the world. I thought that our marriage, love and family was enough for him. He doesn’t respect me anymore and well as I don’t respect him either. I need help, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Anonymous · Answer

You first have to decide whether or not you should to get back together with him. Notice I used the word 'SHOULD' instead of 'WANT'. And when you decide this, you really have to be conscious of your motives. Look at it as logically as you can and then from there it's pretty easy: if you don't think you should get back together you should delete, and if you do think you should get back together you should not delete.

Even if you decide 'we aren't right for each other, but I still wanna be friends!', delete him. You still have feelings for him and you're still looking at his profile to see what's new. Deleting him allows you to move on much easier. People may talk, but at this point you need to be a bit selfish. Do what is beneficial for you. You can always add him later when the idea of seeing him with someone else isn't so painful.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

i honestly feel like deleting them because I don't want to know what's going on in their personal lives or whatever but I agree with the other user that it seems mean, depending on the circumstances of the break up, keeping them is tolerable but I don't really talk to ex's becaus ei'm sure they've moved on to some other 'target' so my short answer is I'd keep them but it has very little meaning to me

Kaybee517 · Answer

I'm going through something kinda similar. I still have feelings for my boyfriend I broke up with last week. We used to communicate through IM most the time, phone and email. I have FB so  as long as you are comfortable with it, just change the option for your ex and Do not receive newsfeed updates about him. This way he can remain your FB friend and you don't have to see every thing he does. However if it's upsetting you that bad or you think you can't control that urge to peek at his profile, you can drop him. As for me , my boyfriend doesn't have FB, but I dropped him from my IM messenger so I wouldn't be able to see any offline messages from him an be tempted to respond immediately,however he's still able to reach me by email/phone if he choses. It's whatever your most comfortable with and what will help you heal and move on faster. It's easier said than done though.

Sparklehorse · Answer

I would delete him. It's just going to make you feel worse and prolong getting over him if you don't, and if you take control and delete him then you'll feel more powerful. I had the same experience with an ex where we have mutual friends. I just explained to the closest ones that I thought it was for the best and I wrote to my ex to say that I found it difficult to see some of the things on his facebook and that I'd prefer it if we stayed in touch via email. This has worked really well for both of us and now we email regularly and meet up with all our friends together with no awkwardness. Good luck.

luvlylady · Answer

depends what you want

to get over him = delete and block him so you will no longer see him on any ones fb wall or comments in general. from experience this will help with the out of site out of mind factor of moving on.

but by questioning if you should delete him shows you may not be ready to move on and completely let go but in the end this behavior will only hurt you more. remember that you are just hurting your self.

side note ... personally I have ex's on my fb because things did not end badly and just worked out that we were just better as friends.

Tracie0826 · Answer

You should delete it for now until you heal! Take care of yourself first even if it takes a year or so. Whenever your ready, if and when you want, request his friendship back on Facebook or in your personal life. Whatever you are comfortable with.

I broke up with my boyfriend of six years about 7 months ago and have no interest in seeing or talking to him. I do not wish to be his friend! I moved an hour away (to be near my family) changed my address, phone number and email address as well. You don't have to go to that extreme, but do what is right for you!

Babygirl78 · Answer

My ex fiance broke up with me and I deleted him from FB, 3 weeks later he wanted to know why deleted him, then last month he sent a request to add me as a friend, it's still sitting in my inbox.

I deleted him because I want him back and drove myself crazy checking his page, and I needed to start healing me.

Good question, I have no idea. Deleting them should be about you and your healing process, if you're struggling, I'd delete them, less tempation to keep tabs on them. Maybe in the future add them back. If you do decide to keep him, maybe change the amount your able to see on each others pages.

iskeepsitreal · Answer

If you don't think you'll get over him, delete him. It's not worth getting p*ssed all the time if the relationship isn't there, y'know.

There has been one or two that I kept on because it's kind of fun to watch their trainwreck relationships, but once I get bored with that. Deleted.

imdatingagain · Answer

TAKE HIM OFF NOW! As you know, these sites give you too much information on an ex boyfriend. You will only dwell on him not being in your life anymore and what he's doing without you. Move on with your social networking life! You have more ways to spend your time than seeing what he's up to. Also, don't give him the satisfaction of what you're doing!

thelook151 · Answer

keep em..y not..dont delete him out of anger..u mite not want to see his flirty comments but he can't controll wut the gurls say to him either..plus you gota remember..he's a guy..we will never understand them...they are nothing like us..i can't figure em out..keep it! if you feel you shud delete then do so...do what you feel!

i would give a ef if people talk..they do that any way

BirdofParadise · Answer

I wouldn't delete him. I get your point about being able to see flirty comments and stuff, but if you delete him then it will make you look childish or something... like your trying to upset him so you delete him. Plus, you'll probably end up adding him back because your curious about what he's up to.

Do your best to just not check out his profile, or even stay away from Facebook for a while.

windyone · Answer

You need to delete yourself. If you don't your gonna see him being with someone else and put yourself through unneccessary pain. Don't try to keep tabs on him you too aren't together anymore you should cut off all contact or the healing process will take longer.

cornie · Answer

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Girls, would you delete your current ex that you still have feelings for?

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