So I restarted talking to my ex and she acts like she still has feelings and is not over me and wants me to be a big part of her life again, but she wants to be friends bc she thinks I’ll never leave her if I’m just a friend while she keeps giving me signs she wants more. I don't know what to take from this bc bc it makes no sense to me.
what should I do bc I do want her back and a future with her but I want something serious not a friendship bc she’s scared of losing me again.
What Girls Said
Like Nikki mentions if you have to work for it then it isn’t worth it. If you can be friends then great. It sounds like she isn’t really sure what she wants and is trying to hang on. Is this a fresh breakup? If so she might not have given enough time yet to get over it. You also have to remember that if you move on and find someone else that it could present some problems. Now if you can truly just be friends then that is great. I would just proceed cautiously if this is still pretty recent as far as splitting up. Both of you need some time to really process everything before you can decide what sorta relationship you can have moving forward.
I agree completely, tbh i could’ve wrote it better. The contact between us is effortless and really is like nothing came between us just instant best friends there isn’t any push to say…. however she believes that we can only be friends by title so in her mind there is no issues and any issues just disappear and it removes any chances we have a falling out and leave each other again bc we will only be friends which makes no sense to me at all. The breakup was about 9 months ago and I do understand a little bit of why she might have some weird idea like this, bc she has abandonment issues and really does struggle with it.
We were friends before any mutual feelings were brought up, but we had issues before were she got really jealous and gets upset if i focus on someone, she said I'm spiteful and ignoring her over small things like not stopping by to see her every time i drive by were she lives which would be everyday or if i made plans that she wanted to do but i made with the girl i was talking to and let alone if i messaged them when we were hanging out, and I can see that’s how it is now from a few interactions we have had now.
I just don’t know what to do, if we were just friends or whatever I don’t mind but just this whole situation if it makes sense feels like it’s only set up for disaster.
I agree with you. It is going to be a disaster. Just from the extra information you just gave this isn't going to be sustainable in my opinion. If she expects you to stop by when you are around where she lives that is unreasonable. Ask yourself if you would do that for any other friend. I don't. Just because I'm in the area of where a friend lives doesn't mean I'm obligated or even expected to stop by. If it were me I would cut contact with her. Tough situation.
I have stayed friends with almost all my exes. If you have to push for it, then it is probably not worth it.
There’s not really any push for anything besides her aspect of pushing for just friends while she is acting like she wants more than that. Like we get along phenomenally just like when we were actively each others best friend.