I really made her upset, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

by not being consistent , etc I am really sorry now she always talks to my friend but never me
and when I try to have a conversation, she ignores me I understand her totally but what should I do. I really treated like **** but it wasn't on purpose yet she doesn't want to hear any of that. I know she still likes me but can't stand me at the same time, should I leave her alone?

[olala]

yes, i think you should wait a couple of days and then text her, or even better face to face if you can. You should tell her what you're writing here. You gotta tell her you think you treated her like sh*t, that it wasn't on purpose yet she doesn't want to hear any of that. That you are really sorry you didn't show too much affection and yeah... basically all you are feeling? And don't mention the other guy or she will think you are just acting like that because you are jealous, instead of because you like her. If she actually likes the guy and you tell her "yeah i got the message" she'll think you're pathetic because you think she's talking with the guy just to make you jealous (a bit egocentric do you know what i mean?)

She probably got sick of waiting for you, and now she's either not interested in you anymore, or playing hard to get so you realize how much you like her. You have to show her now that you have initiative and that you are brave enough to go fight for the things you want.

Good luck hope it helps!!

[Asker]

I do think she talks with the guy to make me jealous, she doesn't even know him! yet she speaks almost every 3 days... about NOTHING. She has to participate if I have to show her Im brave enough, I mean I can't only text and not get a response? There must be something else possible. I just hope she replies even if its in 2 weeks because I am not going to text her again. I dont feel like doing a monologue

[olala]

do you read their conversations? hehe. She can perfectly think he's attractive and wants to know him better. If your pride doesn't let you text her again then that means you don't like her that much. Don't be like that, this is not a competition, if you've messed things up now you gotta put some effort. Even if that means doing a monologue.

More options?
1) Buy a bunch of flowers and bake her a cake and wait in front of her house in a day when it's raining/ snowing (looks more romantic you know) and tell her she's beautiful and kiss her like in American movies
2) Make sure you're better than the other guy:P

She's testing you to see if you care enough. Love is effort, time and sacrifice. It's not getting the easiest girl.

Come on! show her how much you care.

Am I being too direct? Sorry if it's offensive

[Asker]

True I dont know whats being said...
It's not about pride, its more about dignity, self-respect. How will she respect me, a guy thats on his knees chasing her non stop? I know you'll say girls love that and I don't doubt that for a second. I like a girl but not to the point of losing my mind. I need my composure lol

Lol at your 1st option that is totally out of question, I dont even know her house, flowers are enough. You see you got that idea from movies! lol! that is fiction
the 2nd guy neverr showed his face to her, how can she think he is attractive. But now that you said it I do believe, she is testing me ! and I really hope I don't fail I guess I have to listen to you :/ She is not an easy girl at all. Your just fine :)

[Asker]

AAlso, about month ago I told the guy to tell her that Im changing countries lol which is false (bc I thought I was over her). I think she was deeply offended by that

[olala]

mah your dignity. We are talking about writing a second message, not about dragging your body behind her, crying and begging her forgiveness. And the "American option" was a joke don't do it! It would be a bit weird haha.
About you pretending to change countries... why would you do that hahaha sorry but you f****ed it up a little bit.
You have to try looking at things from her perspective. "I liked this guy, he ignored me, he told me he was moving countries. I start talking with his friend and NOW he shows interest". She wants to feel wanted and appreciated, like everyone does, you didn't make her feel 'desirable' in the first place now she probably wants to do the same to you, so she can feel good now. Of course she wants to see you kneeling down now, you don't have to lose your composure but you have to be humble because... because you f***ed it up a little bit (just in case you didn't get that point).

:P

[Asker]

Lol looks like I dont have a choice if I want to 'keep' her, I did **cked up if she forgives me then she has my utmost respect... and just to correct you I did not ignore her at first it was only after awhile because it was getting 'boring' but now that Im sane lol I see its bc I never asked her out? Im soo. ughh. lol

[geekylady]

I would say give her some space for her to clear her mind. If you really care about her approach to her in person and ask her to give you some of her time just to hear you out, that would show that you are interested in making things right. Also, tell her that you waited a couple of days to talk to her and that without any pressure you just want her to hear what you have to say, if you leave everything up to her and won't push or be insistant, she would probably forgive you, we like to have the power on these things, trust me.

[Asker]

You know what? This morning I sent her a message, honest message about me treating her poorly and taking her for granted and some other stuff. Now I know she won't reply right away, but I just HOPE she'd reply and clearly said if you dont wanna hear from me its all good (to show Im not insistant)

[geekylady]

I hope that works out. :)

[Anonymous]

Send her flowers with a note saying your sorry and you didn't mean it...

[Averageguy924]

Yeah i would leave her be if she still likes you i am sure she will get intouch with you at some point.

[Asker]

Indeed

[DontDropIt]

Why did you treat her like shit? What did you do?

[Asker]

basically hmm not showing too much affection/careless barely get in touch with her, never asked her out really seriously... u get the point, but the problem was I didn't know she was so serious. Now that she talks to my friend that she never saw before and doesn't even know his name (I think) I got the message

[DontDropIt]

She's probably trying to get your attention.

[Asker]

and I texted her she didn't reply

perhaps I should wait a few days?

[DontDropIt]

Yeah and if not move one :p

[Asker]

but... I can't thats the prob

trust me I'd have moved on AGES ago