Have a big crush on a girl that I barely know. I don't know how to take the first step? Please help.

[Lonelywolf21]

The situation is that I have a big crush on a girl that I would love to spend more time with. This feeling or this crush appeared for 1-2 weeks ago and it have grown bigger for each day. I thought about her and been fantasizing a lot of things from the first day on (plz don't blame me, it's amazing what your mind can fantasize about :P).

Anyways, the situation is that I have only seen her a few times and that would be on my vicariate job on the weekend at the cinema and I have only talked with her there and that would be about job situations. Nothing more, nothing less.

So, I thought of taking this one step further. First I thought of asking her out on a date, but after reading a ton of articles about it, I found out that's out of the question since it would freak her out and I would probably be a creep in her eyes. So, instead I thought of asking her if she wanted to eat lunch or take a coffee together to get better acquainted.

I would love to do it soonest as possible, but right now it's crashing with my exams and therefore it has to wait. I am going to work there this weekend too and thought of maybe secretly get to know her better without her realizing that I have a crush for her. Because as you maybe have understood she is totally unaware that I have a crush for her and I haven't been given any signs of it either.

As I have said earlier, I thought of inviting her on a lunch/coffee to get better acquainted, but recently I read it would be weird for me to ask her out if she doesn't know who I am. And if that's what it takes I would secretly share some information and maybe after that inviting her out. Because the only thing she know is my name and my big sister, nothing more.

My sister has her main job there and they are good friends/co-workers. I would love to get some advice, but I don't know how she will react to this and therefore I haven't told her anything about it.
That's the story, mates. please help, would be really grateful.:)

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And how can I start a funny conversation with her. It's been said that you have to know what kind of humour she has, but how do you start finding that out? :)

[perfectlyimperfect13]

first off to get to know her and let her get to know you then all you have to do is tell her how you feel and just tell her she doesn't want to be anything more than friends then you guys could stay friends but don't come off creepy because then nothing good is going to come out of that hope i helped also it depends on the girl age and her personality if she is shy then you for sure have to make the first move if not then just I don't know

[Lonelywolf21]

Hmm, I don't how she is going to react, because for now it's only one way. I am having a crush for her not her for me. She doesn't know anything yet. I thought of talking with her to get her more confidence for me and after that's done, maybe I can ask her out for a lunch or a date. :)

[perfectlyimperfect13]

that is a great way to go girls like bad boyss that are only kind to her

[Lonelywolf21]

hhaha, I zee. Nice tip to read. :P

[perfectlyimperfect13]

ikr lol

[KMarshelle]

Awww that's really cute. You could ask your sister to introduce the both of you, then try to become friends from there. Maybe once she knows you better, you could ask her on a date and she wouldn't be creeped out

[Lonelywolf21]

tnx for the advice, but I would like to hold my sister out of it. Because I think she would be disappointed if I told her that i have a crush on that girl and I want to go out with her. Because she isn't so much into religion (from what I think) and my sister wants me to get a more religious one, if you know what i mean.

From what reaction I will get, I am too afraid to involve my sister into this mess, but yeah if my sister were more open to this (maybe she is, but I have a bad feeling) would be much easier. :P

[Lonelywolf21]

If anyone had similar experience, either if it were the boy/girl that had the crush or the girl/boy that were trying to make something, it would be really nice of you to tell me more about your experience. It would help me a lot and I would be really grateful for it. :)

[Lonelywolf21]

Ok, if after having a talk with my sister today, I actually think it can workout. I can tell her about it, but I still too afraid to make disappoint. I know she isn't a person like that, but still you got the feeling. How would you go forward? :)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Slow down... the first thing to do is to talk to her. Get her name, have a brief conversation with her. Then maybe have your sister get some recon for you. Then talk to her again, and then ask her out

[Lonelywolf21]

I know what you are saying, but it's so hard because I get so few opportunities to do it. I only see her at work when I work there. It would therefore be weird for me to go at the cinema if I am not working or have no intention to watch a movie. At that time she is busy for work and it would be weird for me to ask her when she have a break.

It's actually a very weird situation I have put myself into, but unfortunately as I have said my sister is out of the picture. Because the girl I have a crush on is into dating and stuff like that and I have nothing against that. But my sister is more religious and I feel she is in a way against it. Because we are not into that dating thing and this is the first time I want to try it out. But the most dangerous factor she is afraid of is that I will have sex with this girl and maybe we will find out that we weren't meant to be together. Hmm, my sister is against that way of doing and therefore I am a little afraid to tell her about it.

[Lonelywolf21]

And I know her name too, but it's only where to start. :P :D

[Lonelywolf21]

Ok, I have thought a lot about it and this will maybe work. If I tell my sister about this how should I go forward. As I said from what I feel and know she is not so much into the dating thing and maybe it will piss her off. So, how would you go forward with it? :)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Since you have an iffy relationship with your sister and dating, I'd stick to just going up to the girl and trying to talk to her some. You're right a date proposal out of left field may catch her too off guard. So, I think trying to talk to her and getting her number first is still a better plan. You do work the same time as she does? If so, then would be good.

[Lonelywolf21]

Yeah, that's true that I work at the same place as her. But it's so sad because we only get a 10-20 min break. In addition, I don't know when she is taking a break and I thought about asking her without knowing. Since we both are working on a official place were there are many other co-workers, I can't talk smoothly with her at that time. Because that would embarres us much, especially me. :/

But I will try to get to know her better. :) I just hoped the weekend were tomorrow and I could work more on the cinema. :P Damn, love can really mess your up. Trying to practice to my exams, and 80 % I loose my concentration.

This is actually a very good and exciting feeling because I have never ever been feeling a so strong feeling for a girl before. :)

[Lonelywolf21]

Ok, if after having a talk with my sister today, I actually think it can workout. I can tell her about it, but I still too afraid to make disappoint. I know she isn't a person like that, but still you got the feeling. How would you go forward? :)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Find a way to ask her out at work. Maybe have your sister hang out with her so it's not like you have to ask her out around other people

[Lonelywolf21]

I thought of maybe trying to speak with her first. i have work this weekend and thought maybe I could make a conversation between us in the breaks. Because as I have said she knows nothing about me except the name. So it would be nice to build some confiendence up before asking her out.
I actually think it's best to just say the whole thing to my sister. She have been working with her for a long time now and she knows her well. what her humour is, how she is and how should act to impress her. If she becomes disappointed, then she becomes disappointed. Better to get some advice before it's too late, right? :P

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I think you are on a good path, but make sure you are making your decisions on what to do. Girls don't always know how to pick up girls

[Lonelywolf21]

Tnx, man. I know what you mean and it's actually there it makes me pretty confused of what to do. :)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

It's not that hard. Just try to talk to her. Tell her as you're leaving that you liked talking to her and ask her for her # so you can talk outside of work. Then call her up and ask her out.

[Lonelywolf21]

I will try to do what I can once I get my opportunities and chances when I am at work with her.

But do you think I should get help from my sister? She said yesterday if I had found someone "she would help me regardless of who it's". The only thing that holds me back is her disappointment. I don't want to disappoint her, you know.

I mean if you were a situation like this, would you ask your sister, or the person that knew the girl, for help?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I'd ask my sister to do recon. Find out if she has a boyfriend, find out what she's kinda into. That's about it.

[Lonelywolf21]

From what I have heard from my sister herself is that she had a boyfriend that she was with for over 5 years, but they have broken up now from what I know. So therefore I thought I maybe had the chance.

I also thought that I should maybe have a conversation with her first and see how it goes. If it become very hard, then I thought maybe ask my sister for help. What do think about it? Should I just tell my sister everything first or should I try to do it on my own. :)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Try onyour own first.

[Lonelywolf21]

ok, will do. tnx for the help, bro. :)

[Lonelywolf21]

Aaaand of course when I prepared myself for the big day my luck were at "top". -.- Of course she had her day off when I worked this weekend. Well, well, I have no intention of knowing a person through net, especially not if there comes a chance I can meet her in real life. No way. Have to wait to next week then. ^^

[Lonelywolf21]

Do you think it's a good way to get her known by chatting with her on Facebook. Accidentally I add her as friend before knowing that wasn't a good idea for a girl you like. Hmm, now that we are friend it would just be awkward to remove her and if something good comes out of it and we are suddenly not friends anymore. Would not like to make drama out of that little thing.

I am not a fan of having the first conversation on net since I have maybe the opportunities to meet her in real life. But I would like to know your opinion too about it. :)

[Lonelywolf21]

Sorry for all the asking. I hope I doesn't seem like a complete idiot or a pest to you that you can't get rid of. :P

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Stick to in person to chat with her for now.

[Lonelywolf21]

You mean in real life?

I don't like to talk over net for the first time. I think once we know each other better it would be better. But a disaster would be made by talking with her over net for first time. It would make me a stalker or a creep, I think. And it would also prove that I am too afraid to speak with her face to face.

So, it was a stupid question. I think I answered it myself.:P

[Diego9O]

The link is your sister. Ask she to present you to her and that´s it.

[Lonelywolf21]

yeah, maybe I should tell her.
I have to think more about what to do. It would be nice to hear experience from someone that had been in the same situation, you know. :)

[Diego9O]

I´ve been in one similar, just that I didn´t have a sister or no one nearby to help me out and I´m not skillfull when it comes to flirting and she rejected me...

[Lonelywolf21]

Damn, poor you. Sorry about that, mate. :) Better luck next time.

yeah, i am in the same situation. In my whole life (and I am almost 21) I had been in love two times including this one. The other one wads 8 years ago when I were at the elementary school. At that time I were too afraid and shy to invite her. I had actually a good chance, but I screwed. what a coward I was at that time.

So it took me 8 years to find someone new that I truly would spend more time together. Just as you I am not the skillful guy when it comes to flirting either. So I want to make something out of it, if you know what I mean. :=)

[Diego9O]

Good luck, just keep trying.

[Lonelywolf21]

Hhahah, will do. :P

[Lonelywolf21]

Ok, I have thought a lot about it and this will maybe work. If I tell my sister about this how should I go forward. As I said from what I feel and know she is not so much into the dating thing and maybe it will piss her off. So, how would you go forward with it? :)

[Diego9O]

If your sister don´t get to help you, plan B I guest. Be charming with the girl, make her laugh. Find something funny to say from the topic both talk about, as much as you can, finally invite her to a coffe or whatever is available in the moment, as long as she is clearly comfortable with you.

[Lonelywolf21]

I have thought about it and I really want to do it. But I am so inexperience with it that it makes me afraid and nervous. I try to calm myself down, but I feel it becomes awkward if I don't find something she will like and laugh of. Had never any girl friends (friends, not in relationship :) )

In addition, I will just get a few opportunities to do it. I have come to her workplace to work, not to sit there and chill with her, if you know what I mean. If it were a friend from school or a girl from my school it would make it much easier.

PS. I have just a feeling that my sister will be against it. She is very tolerant to many thing and are someone you can open tell her everything, but I don't know if this is something she will tolerate it. :/

[Lonelywolf21]

Ok, if after having a talk with my sister today, I actually think it can workout. I can tell her about it, but I still too afraid to make disappoint. I know she isn't a person like that, but still you got the feeling. How would you go forward? :)

[Diego9O]

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.

Dale Carnegie

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

Muhammad Ali

[Lonelywolf21]

Yeah, I guess you have a point. :P

good quotes by the way.

[Anonymous]

I could see a movie being made out of this.

[Lonelywolf21]

Hhahah, yeah that would be nice. :P

[LisaSolaris]

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