Why do white guys hate black girls so much?

Question

I mean I am like mostly native american, but I am 1/4 african american so I have the skin of one. I DO NOT fit the stereotypes of what people think of them (loud, violent, abusive), just like the way that not all black guys have huge endowments, or any other labels the stupid world has brought upon us, haha. I am not that ugly although I will just say I don't have the skinny body that guys these days want. I'm curvy but I am 16 and guys don't realize that curves aren't that that bad, lol.

Back to the subject why don't white guys like black or chocolate skinned girls? I am pretty open to a wide variety of guys, but I have always found white guys so freaking adorable! But I am afraid they won't like me back because of a factor I can't control :(

Updates

+1 y

And I do not have that "black booty".

thats another generalization I don't fit!

I am not talking on behalf of all of them.

beautyfulme1 · Accepted Answer

I have been feeling this way ever since I've been to high school. Most of my friends back then were white or Latinas because I couldn't relate to the black girls in my school. I'm not saying I have something against the 'stereotypical' black girl, but most of the time, they had something against me.

In high school, I was not like the other black girls,(normal butt, normal chest. Nothing special) So I felt really unattractive, as if those were the only things that made a girl pretty. I've always liked rock alternative, pop music and french literature, and etc. Though I like to listen to some hip-hop, I do not have the 'black' stereotypes people love to give us.

So to go back to my story, I have a really dark complexion (like Naomi Campbell) and also thought that I wasn't pretty enough because of it.(high school boys can be quite rubbish and ignorant so don't worry about it).

I had this crush on this really cute white guy, every time his eyes would look down to me, my heart would dropped. It was really intense, but when I was in HS I had really really low self esteem (now it's better but still..) and my 'friends' weren't that nice. I was just hanging with them because I had no other friends.

So one time one of my friends, told me that this guy (another white guy, really popular) started to put girls on a list- which were prettier and whatever (see what I mean by rubbish?). She bluntly told me ''He said that you were cute but he doesn't like black girls''. I remember so well, she had that kind of half-smile that said ''Sorry, but I don't really care, because it's not me''.

For a long time, I though I wasn't attractive because of my skin color and that he[the really cute guy] would never like me. Now I know a lot of people have their preferences and are more attracted to certain types, though I find it kind of sad in a way (no offense).

But it's another thing to say ''I don't like black girls or white/Latinas/asians...''. Sure, it always comes down to your preferences. But like in one of the line of my favorite movie, ''It's your preference to be prejudice''.

Have you been all over the world to say such things? Have you seen every black women on earth? I do not think so.

Sincerely, if I could go back I would of talked to that guy and if it turns out he doesn't like me for my skin, something he couldn't even see if he was blind, then what can I do? What can you do? Why waste my time with a stupid mind that only likes a certain 'type' when he doesn't even know a thing about me or who I am as a person?

The truth is, appearance is only one thing. It doesn't last long. A guy might find you cute, or sexy or extremely beautiful but it's the way you carry yourself, the way you speak your mind, the way you care, your PERSONALITY that will make him stay.

I am not the most (really not) confident woman on earth, because of experiences like this, but I do believe you will find a a boy that will like you for who you are. Just smile :)

jezebel9 · Accepted Answer

Thank you for raising this question because it has bothered me for ages. My situation is unique:

I am African. Born and raised in Africa. My country is unique in that there are a lot of foreign people although the population is still predominantly black African. All my family is black. (un-stereotypically), I had a talent for classical music since I was very young and this won me a scholarship to a british high school in my country where I was exposed to all races and people from everywhere e.g. from Vietnam to Sweden.

I have always found myself attracted to white men. In high school, none of them would have been caught dead with me as their girlfriend even though I tick quite a few of the 'white feature' boxes i.e, small nose, very slim and slender etc. However, I am chocolate coloured (think Kerry Washington or Gabrielle union) and this always got in the way. I was very outgoing, but never loud or obnoxious and definitely didn't fit the 'stereotype'...I mean, being obsessed with Picasso and music by the Deftones is hardly an African let alone a 'black' thing.

I moved to UK to study my degrees. My first boyfriend was white british and from a wealthy family. he was extremely abusive (verbally and psychologically) in the latter year of our relationship. I took it because I assumed myself to be 'lucky' that a white man found me attractive and that it must have been all my fault somehow. -Of course now, I know that a lot of women in abusive relationships feel that it is their fault (no matter their race). I later discovered that I was in fact just a 'token experiment' and that his family were actually never going to accept me as a long-term girlfriend. as a result it sent me on a downward spiral where I was convinced that I was always doomed to be unhappy because of my skin colour eventually leading to attempted suicide.

To answer your question, it felt like it didn't matter that I was actually attractive!...it felt like my skin colour is all that men saw...no matter my 'white-ish' features or how well spoken, informed and intelligent I am (in the romance part of my life anyway).

this was a critical lesson to me. PLEASE surround yourself with POSITIVE influences...e.g. I stopped reading magazines that were only geared to white people for a while because I found it was subliminally damaging my self esteem. concentrate on the things that you love and enjoy doing...who knows, it might lead you to finding someone. but focus your energies into improving your self-esteem and confidence. It helped me to look for role models that looked similar to me as well as role models that were totally different to me [from Oprah to Gandhi to Whitney Houston to Chopin and Donald Trump :) ].

Im glad to say I'm at a much better place in my life with someone that loves me (an italian hottie no less!) and that I don't let negativity get to me. I think it comes as you get older please don't give up on people or think that you are unattractive.it gets better.promise.

Tigerlily · Accepted Answer

I think it's more a cultural thing, especially as most black people don't do much to dispel the stereotypes (not that they should necessarily, but they just don't) so maybe white guys (and girls) don't really want to date a loud R and B loving black girl (or guy.)

Personally I'm half white and half black so I can kinda see it from both sides! People have commented saying that not everybody is racist - that's definitely true, or else I'd have no friends. But unfortunately the vast majority of people still have a hint of prejudice in them, even if it's not all that bad. It's not the 50s anymore, no apartheid and all that. But I can tell you, as someone with gold skin, pouty lips and a big ol ass, I always get pigeonholed as 'black,' and people assume I like hip hop and only want to date black guys and such. I've been on a dating website before and 90% of my messages were from black guys, whereas my white friends get approached mainly by white guys.

Though I admit I'm guilty of this too. I wouldn't approach a black guy because I don't like the culture. If he wasn't stereotypical then maybe, if he was a nice guy. Similarly, I wouldn't approach a white guy who was into black culture. Perhaps the idea is so ingrained into society that people aren't sure if maybe there's part of the stereotype in our genes for being black, you know? Shrug.

I know for a fact that people do worry about their families. I was with my (white) ex boyfriend for a year and his parents decided they didn't like me just by looking at me. They didn't do too well for hiding it, as much as they claimed not to be racist. Though looking at the past 50 years or so, give it another generation or two and racism might be gone entirely.

The other problem is that people are afraid to say things in front of the um... well... ethnic minorities, shall we say.

[Yeah that sounded weird didn't it? My friend who was also half black once had a woman dance around the subject, not knowing what to call black people, and she eventually settled on um... the dark people!']

In those cases I tend to make my own sort of 'racist' jokes. But I jokingly insult everyone so my friends all know I never mean it. I have friends from a few different ethnic backgrounds so we all make fun of eachother. We know it's not serious or actually insulting.

Having said all that - have you ever actually experienced any racism in that way? Perhaps you're just a little insecure about it because you think guys will reject you?

thejacksonone2 · Accepted Answer

Well I hate to be the one that doesn't go against what you said but here I go.

Look I'm a Caucasian male, I don't find black women very attractive, some are but even then in my opinion they could be beat out by an Asian or Caucasian person.

Now I know I may receive flack for this but there is a reason. The human mind has preferences, and one of mine (and some other peoples as you have found out) is a lighter skin colour. It's a fact you can't control, it's not like a hair preference that can be changed by the trip to the salon, but it's something that happens.

To explain why the majority (though aparrently nobody else on this website) of white males aren't attracted to black women is very simple.

A) personality clashes. This is the reason you mostly see the races end up hanging out together in the high school environment, personality is effected by upbringing and early childhood. If you are brought up in a "black" household and neighborhood (meaning you play with pretty black children) chances are that you are going to have partly the stereotypical attitude/ personality. It's the same around the world.

B) the human race evolved over time in different areas and adapted to those areas. What this caused is the thing we call "races" today. As we evolved in these areas, both sexes evolved in ways to make themselves more attractive to the opposite in order to get a "better" mate (see the change in breast sizes over the last 100 year as an example of this) which means that they evolved to be more attractive to those around them, causing different tastes to be developed.

This means that basic evolution causes on average that you will not see interracial couples because each race has evolved to suit itself. Those couples are of people who's mindsets have adapted better to the inclusion of other races in the gene pool then others.

So there is the science of it, it's my that the white guys you know are bigots, it's that it's their preference and in this day and age we haven't had long enough to adapt for the majority of us to get "Micheals syndrome" (a brain mutation that causes one to be totally "colour blind" everyones a little bit rascist even if we don't want to be.

Spin it this way, you find white guys more cute then others. It's just preferences sweetie.

Hope this helps.

roadkingp · Accepted Answer

I find some black girls to be very beautiful and have some element which the white girls lack who remain just white and no real beauty. There are ugly black girls as there are ugly white girls so bee calm and don't ever think that I am telling these things to make you happy.

drew_behlke · Answer

I am a white male that's 19 years old. Women are beautiful and amazing regardless of what their ethnicity is. African American women carry a strong sense of individuality and strength around with them which in my mind is VERY appealing. At the same time, they want to be treated like women and not girls; this can be different from many white females who honestly (not as a stereotype or any harm mean't) can seem needy more often then not. Many different people make up a race and at the end of the day when it comes down to it a person is a person regardless of skin color; we're all humankind. It's about being attracted to who the person is inside, it's only one layer of skin that separates us all. We can all learn to co-exist together and not argue about who's race is superior and what not, or perish together as fools...loosely quoted from martin luther king jr. (btw, a more full figure aka curves is jus a sign of a womanly body, and not that of a little girls body ya kno?) but in the end, if they don't like you for a superficial reason such as skin color, then you don't want to be with that kinda person anyways

Eddierayilerjr · Answer

Ok As a white man I see more and more white guys are becoming interested in black woman. In Fact I am one of them. I find White women with their thin (Unhealthy is what thin is) Lips are Unattractive for that. I also Find that white women tend to not have a great looking face. I mean some are exceptions but I don't like the typical nose and eyeshape of a white woman.

I Love all of the normal features of Black and native American women. In fact my girl Is A quarter white a quarter Cherokee and 50 % African. So to Really answer your question. Ask them. Because most (Not all though ;/) White guys Love Black and darker skin women. Most of them love women in general while some actually won't date any other kind but a black woman and a very very small number of them don't like black women period.

Now here's the thing. White men Think just like you do. You say why don't white men Like black girls? Well that is a false stereotype. Most of them won't ask you out because they think Black girls don't like white guys. Its an unfortunate Stereotype that the past relations between our races has made us believe. Break from that thought process and if a white guy says no just move on to the next. Really Honestly. Be open about your attraction :)

God Bless You!

Eddie

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's shameful that in this day and age stereotypes keep us from getting to know each other.

I'm black ( non-stereotypically so), I feel like this sterotype is more prevalent in the US than anywhere else (i'm not american born). I'm dark skinned but I love my complexion,i think it's beautiful.I have dated guys of many different races, from Asian to White Europeans and my skin color has never been an issue. I do avoid dating guys who seem to only be interested in seeing what it's like to be with a black girl...cause to me that says red flag!

I think all you need to do is be you. No matter what there are always going to be people who judge you based on the color of your skin and not the content of you character and there's not to much you can do about that. Be who you are, don't be so concerned about whether white guys like you or not (truthfully there will be more likely than not some who do or will during your life).

I must say that I think it really sucks that stereotypical attitudes/character traits is only attributed to black people, when really it's seems to be a character trait of people who grow up in a particular environment...eg. more rough areas ("ghetto" if you will). And I've noticed it's not just the black people who are like that it's the majority of people who are in this type of setting,White, Latinoand who ever else there is. But for some reason it's just gotten stuck on the black folks.

I'll tell you this, Black women by nature are strong ( and no that's not the same as being loud),so don't let hateful stereotypes make you feel any less beautiful and worthy than anyone else. If there is a guy who is really worth knowing, he will see past stereotypes and see you as you really are.

fresherthanever · Answer

I am a "adorable" white guy who loves black girls. Well, loves all woman. Judging by your question and grammar I can tell that you are a intelligent-minded individual who is not stopped by the stereotypes in the world. I believe that you know that people are divided somewhat into 2 categories, type A and type B. Type a people play by pre-established social rules, are usually close-minded, and can't understand the different dimensions of being human. Type B is more of an open-minded, tolerant, independant thinker who can understand others and question everything. You seem to be a B, and because your black, and a B , you terrify the cute white type As that you like. They aren't supposed to date outside race, can't understand that your not a ghetto chick that can't spell and only listrns to rap. They are, and make, stereotypical people. I would bet you had a high GPA, speak correctly, and are not afraid to wear your own hair out, and have an open veiw of sexuality. What you need is a guy like me, who doesn't see colors, he sees character. BTW, don't be afraid to approach white dudes, sometimes they might be thinking the same thing...

seth_Oscillation · Answer

mmm omg yes! I f***ing looooooooove black girls! but I'm still picky tho. I'm not really into ghetto chicks period (white,black,asian,hispanic) I prefer intelligent girls and/or rocker black girls the best! rocker black girls are so rare tho... :( but yeah I wouldn't worry too much.

guys like curves. I do! look just hang with the white boy and let him know you're intelligent. ghetto girls are intimidating because we think they might snap and kill us! lol jk but yeah just let him know you're just as chill as any other girl. guys are not as picky as girls in my opinion. if you're cool hell give you a chance! ;)

black girls rock! ;)

ErikM · Answer

I don't think it's true that (most) white men hate black women. In my country, Norway, maybe the appreciation of black women is much more common than I your country, but believe me when I say that white guys will secretly check you out and appreeciate your beauty, even if you don't notice it! You see, guys will appreciate the beauty of ANY woman, regardless of colour. In many ways, guys are far less hung up about colour than women, because guys are very visual and they can see beauty in any type of woman.

tuesday1 · Answer

Honey I have dated many white guys and you will be surprised a lot of them who do like black women like them dark. I don't think a lot of white guys will openly walk up to you and ask you out. you are going to have to be a go getter on this one. It also depends on the area you live. When I was in California more white men were interested in me then black men but here in Texas its a little harder. I like to see black girls keeping an open mind to dating outside of their race. Being curvy is good but other boys your age might not appreciate it yet I had the same issue I dated a little older lol so you may not have much luck with men till you are a little older maybe 18 but if you see a guy you like go and talk to him the worse thing he can do is say no and if he does well its his loss.

setcheck67 · Answer

White guys don't hate black girls. At least I don't. It's the way you act that determines how they feel about you. If you shout a conversation to a person across the room when you could simply walk their and talk to them then no absolutely NO white guys find that attractive at all. If you laugh loud enough that everyone in the room hears it loud and clear that's also a big no. However many white guys that aren't racist find black skin very attractive sexually in a girl. It's all in the way you act.

nbc5023 · Answer

I would say it has to do with culture. Black women are to sometimes viewed as untouchable by white men one because they are viewed as being from a different background, two because of some racism that subconsciously exists among some white people, and three because of a belief that black males don't accept it  when white men date black women (it could threaten their manhood). This is all just speculation, but if you are able to get to know a white guy personally first, he may be able to put his fears aside.

mangaka92 · Answer

Largely because of the stereotypes. Honestly, I love the look of darker skin. I think it's beautiful, personally. However, I've only ever experienced the stereotypes. I'm not saying they're true across the board, but it's all I've ever seen. If I ever met someone that didn't fit the stereotypes, then I'd be totally down for it, but I've never met any black girls that haven't fit the stereotypes in some way or another and I went to a college that had a majority of black kids at it and still couldn't find anyone that didn't fit the stereotype in some way or another. I guess that's been my experience.

Anonymous · Answer

I am a white guy and I did fall in love with a black girl but when I read the title of the question I thought you were going to talk about some guys were rude to you any way back to the girl I did love here but then she moved away I don't think she thought the same about me and I think people are more attracted to the color they are because its familiar I know that if I had a choice to spend the rest of my life with a white girl that's not dependable and a black girl that is dependable Id go with the black girl there are more relation ships like that then you think.

setcheck67 · Answer

My first girlfriend was black. She had such a beautiful shade of skin like dark chocolate. I don't know what you're talking about, but for the most part it's because they are generally very stupid acting and loud. I was once listening to my ipod turned up all the way and this black girl was going "oooo oooo" and I heard it way past my music. All you have to do is show how sweet and well mannered you are. The white guys will be all over you. My mom hated me dating a black girl XD. It was cool though, because we had such great sex rebelling against her lol.

DyingAngel · Answer

I will say that it all depends on how you present yourself and put yourself out there.But many guys in high school tend to be one sighted, lol, like cheerleaders.I've talked with lot of the guys that I was friends with back when I was in high school and most of them have said they would have liked to have dated me in high school but they were just being stupid.Lol.My good friend thinks it's funny cause I get approached by more white guys than her and she gets approached by lots of black guys, and she's white.Just be yourself and you'll find a guy if you are looking for one.But high school is a time to get to know yourself.If you know yourself you'll know better what kind of guy you would like to date.You don't have to limit yourself to one type of guy.

Crazycanuck · Answer

I may not be that they hate black girls it could be that their shy, their family's are a bunch of rednecks (even though they aren't themselves), or they think a that black girls don't like white guys.

It also depends on how/where they were raised I for example I was raised in a multicultural/open minded community and I see interracial couples all the time and I dated girls form different races myself...Vs someone from the deep south who was raised in an all white community they might stick with their own race because that is how they where raised.

Hoever you shouldn't let your skintone be a factor in a relationship let them see the real you and things should work out fine...

MsNikki_Nicole · Answer

well I'm pretty much like you I'm more natvie american thn anything and I'm also carribean and white but I look black and my boyfriend for almost 2yrs I white..i can be violate sumtimes/he is the sameway lol but he loves it..like he makes me mad on purpose...but I hate the sterotypes too...me I'm really nice but omg people are so ignorant! I've been told so many times I'm a white black girl now wtf is that a white black girl...really? lol I've been told that because I don't act like a guess what you called a typical black girl...which there is no such thing its either your ghetto or your not and not only black girls can be ghetto..and sweety they don't hate us...i think kind of scared my boyfriend...before we were dating messaged me on MySpace  because he was too scared to approach me

Anonymous · Answer

You know, you say people stereotype you and other black girls as being loud/abusive ... but you're stereotyping, too! Of course not all white guys dislike black girls. Sure, people have preferences -- but if you carry yourself well, are intelligent, and have a good personality, a guy would be crazy to turn you down for your skin color. And if he is racist, that comes from people of all colors, not just white.

Also, to prove that not all white guys dislike black girls ... there is one boy I go to school with who I've adored for years. A lot of girls do, he is very attractive and funny. He is white. A few years ago, a friend of mine who also liked him said he'd probably like me over her because I'm white and she isn't. Well, as it turns out, he had a big crush on this girl who is black (and quite dark skinned, actually), and they ended up going out for a while. She was even his first girlfriend. So, the moral of that story is -- not everyone cares that much about skin color.

monkeypaw · Answer

Not sure what a black booty is..and sweetheart you have the skin color of many races (Indians, Afrikkans, etc.) African Americans are not the only ones with a wide range of skin color.

Why does anyone hate something, the main reason is we don't like what we don't understand and can't control! White men have raped Arican-American women, (and many other races) since slavery and were pawning for us then even though it wa frowned upon (what, you mean to tell me they couldn't do what they wanted to their property back then?).

Plus, many AA women want real men and that's NOT a white guy and they know it!

Love who you are!

Anonymous · Answer

I'm sure you are very attractive. Don't let this subject get to you. Unfortunately now a days racism still does exist. But it is not the end all be all of life. If you like someone, take a chance and let them know. As time passes, you'll find that the opinions of others is not as important as your opinion of yourself and your happiness. Life free and happy.

My personal feelings are based on the individual. I've seen attractive women/girls in all races. For me however, personality is what counts most.

Anonymous · Answer

okay why be so pressed on what a bunch of white boys think about you? if you feel that they don't accept you move on and focus on those that do.  you can't generalize and say what all white guys hate/love because guys are different they all like the same things. if a guy does judge you based on stereotypes then he was a loser anyway and not worthy of your time. don't stress yourself out like this.  black & native american is a nice mix, I'm sure you're really pretty so don't trip about what you imagine guys think of you.  you don't have to look like a carbon copy to get male attention, just be happy with yourself

Anonymous · Answer

Old question but I found this interesting. I've dated a black girl before and I'm white. Here is the thing. Stereotypes do exist and they exist for a reason. There are loud, obnoxious black girls out there but honostly MANY like you ARE NOT that way. Also there is a stereotype that white girls like black guys cause they are more masculine/confident and better endowed than white men. As I got older I found that was less and less true too. It's really painted up in our media.

I'm sure you are gorgeous. I would like to meet you in real life.

I will tell you this. White guys are slightly intimidated by black girls. They feel like they got be "extra polite" cause of the whole white guilt issue. But a lot of us have an exotic desire for black girls as well.

I've never slept with a black girl (although one gave me head). I would like to try it! Chocolate..yum yum.

Why do white guys hate black girls so much?

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