Why can't I attract someone my own age?!

[Stella5555]

I get hit on constantly by older men, (I'm 21, and I'm talking the over 30 crowd. Sometimes these men are old enough to be my father.)

Why can't I attract someone within five years of my own age? This is getting really annoying. I just want to be with someone closer to my own age. None of those guys seem to be interested. What's going on here?!

[Annette83]

Well, one thing is that for you to be attracting so many older guys, you must be spending a lot of time where they are. It sounds like you need to spend more time where the younger guys are!

Also, I used to have the same problem when I was your age. I think part of the problem was that I was rather reserved/quiet. Younger guys felt like I was too shy and older guys were attracted because they thought I was either mature or easy to manipulate. I have found that a lot of older guys who are interested in younger women are looking for someone to control/manipulate or impress and they feel like the younger a woman, the more clueless she'll be, and the easier to control or impress. I caught on after a while and tried to act more confident. So I acted less polite and less impressed when older guys tried to hit on me. Maybe you need to do this. If people describe you as "sweet", this could be your problem. Good luck!

[Stella5555]

The sad part about this is, I hang out with guys my own age on a daily basis. I live in a college town.

[Annette83]

Well, maybe you are hanging out with them in the wrong places. Do you see them on the street and in the stores or at social events? Try going to more social events. I don't know if you are at college; if you are, join a group (like learning to kayak or salsa dance).

[Stella5555]

I am in college, and I go to art school and participate in the events there. I'm in one of the clubs. On a day to day basis I see two or three people I know when I'm out and about. I'm really quite social with my classmates and I always go out dancing on the weekends with people my own age to places where the majority of the people are my own age as well. I have no idea what this is caused by. I dress age appropriately and act my age.

[Annette83]

Well, you sound a lot like I was then. I am guessing that you do come across as more mature somehow. I was the same. There was just something about my look that attracted older guys. Looking at your photo, I think this might be what is going on. You are beautiful and you look like the kind of woman who could fit in anywhere! I hate to suggest this, but what worked for me was acting more giggly/younger. Also, go to non-dancing events where you will meet a different kind of guy. Sports?

[Stella5555]

Thanks for the input and the compliment! I'll try to jazz up my routine a bit and see if that helps. Here's hoping!

[Annette83]

Let us know! I'm still wondering why I used to have that problem!

[stillagoodgirl]

OMG you sound like me!!! Except I'm still polite but I was never impressed easily.
Guys my age just see me as a friend

[Anonymous]

i have the same problem!

you know what I think it is? in your profile picture, you kind of have a young/innocent/wholesome look to you. if you didn't say how old you were, I'd think you were 15 or 16. we're the same age and I noticed that 21 year old guys don't really check for the sweet/good girl look as much as they do a more sexy/provacative/naughty type of girl. older guys like it because they are looking at you from a dirty old man pervert mindset and see you as a young naive girl they can manipulate and pervert.

i would suggest not smiling so sweetly and give of a more confident, assured vibe. instead of being cute and sweet, project the image of "/gorgeous/hot/stunning". you're a pretty girl for sure but all you have to do is change your image a little bit. that's just what I noticed from the 1 picture you had.

[MercuryKitten]

I have the same problem as you and I can chalk it up to two things:

1. The places I hang out tend to attract an older crowd.

2. I act more mature than a lot of people my age.

I wouldn't suggest acting immature because that's obnoxious, but try hanging out in different places than you normally would.

And if I'm wrong and you hang out with young people AND you are immature? Then I have no idea!

[Anonymous]

I can't be nice when I hear something like this, but it makes me angry and nervous. Are you going to waste yourself with older perverts? you don't look to me like the night clubs and drinking type, older perverts you're talking about aren't appreciating you for what you are, your mind and your soul, they want you because it's only sexual to them, I do not respect any guy who hits on girls 15 years his junior, guys like that aren't grown up and it's going to end up with the young girl hurt, because it's not really that important to have a younger girl in your life. So please look for your own age, college, art conferences, events, respected public places are all regions you should be at, not night clubs and bars.

[Stella5555]

I'm not at all interested in them and turn down any of their advances, fyi.

[Opinion Owner]

Just ignore them, you'll find someone eventually

[stercor]

Um, you're beautiful?

Do you go where there are guys your won age? How about church or school?

Not much, I know.

Ted

[stillagoodgirl]

I still have this problem and I'm in college too so you'd think there's more opportunities for me but nope they don't see me that way for dating

The best thing to do is approach a shy guy