Why do girls date idiots? What is just so wrong about the good guys?

I mean, its really cool that the "boy-toy" goes out and gets hammered every weekend, or does all sorts of drugs... Or goes and hangs with other girls probably doing "things" at all those GREAT parties! :/

But a guy like me, who is drug free, doesn't drink (I realize that I'm underage...), would only keep his eyes and heart on his girl... WE have the hardest times getting a girlfriend! It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, in fact, NONE at all! I mean popularity and being "fun" and knowing a lot of people is cool and all, but to THAT extent?

Honestly what is love? I could tell you, or show you, any girl who can look past whatever impression I give out to the outside world. I know exactly what love is... I look for fun elsewhere, I enjoy spending time with my family that loves me, but I also need friend time, which doesn't happen very often because they're all out partying.

I was out and about tonight, ya know taking care of a few things, got myself a nice outfit, spent some time at the bookstore... And driving home, the radio was off, I felt so alone, nobody sitting in the passenger seat, nobody to talk to. It was me alone in my car.

I just want a friend... someone to talk to, enjoy being around more than any other person in the world... Someone I love more than my family even, someone new and exciting! Someone to be there for at all times, someone to wrap my arm around while we walk together, someone to hold... But it was just me... I almost broke down and cried. I feel so alone!

I don't know what it takes to get a GF... I'm 19 years old and have never had one. I'm not exactly a huge hit with the ladies for whatever reason. I'm good-looking, have a good head on my shoulders, have a lot of friends, but I live a more family oriented, clean lifestyle... I would think young women would appreciate that, but they just end up with the druggie/alcoholic that probably hangs all over other girls at parties anyways... I generally stay away from parties, especially ones with drugs and booze.

Why can't young women my age look past whatever the seemingly "negative" vibe I give off and fall in love with and appreciate a guy like me? I've tried talking to girls, asking them out, asking them to just hang out as friends, but I end up led on, alone and confused and hurt every time. One girl I fell in love with, believe me I know I did. I've tried, I've asserted myself plenty of times for the girls I like, but nothing ever works out. I'm not looking for sex on the first, second, or even the 99th date...

I ultimately just want a friend... a best friend.

What can I do? I'm such a hopeless romantic... :(



Most Helpful Guy

  • ok bro first of all your obviously looking for more than a friend but that's ok everyone is and just be your great self the girls will come around I know you have heard this all before but for your question I think I can answer why the girls won't give you the time of day statistics show that since the 1970's young woman have been wanting more and more to experience with sex NOT ALL GIRLS but a lot of them are probably wanting sex I am a guy like you and I am also still single and also 19 I am also heavy set so I know how you feel if you are skinny and good looking you definitely have more going for you then I do so I know how you feel but I have used my knowledge to win them over and that's what you have to do to make yourself stand out in positive ways also have self confidence if you are a emotional guy don't be around girls they want you to be strong so they can feel security while around you DONT go in the friend zone first with a girl you like because then you guys will most likely never get out of it you just got to ask around about the girl and be observant find out what she likes and sweep her off her feet show her that you will care for her more than anyone else then ask her out and don't be afraid to be rejected because it will most likely happen a few times just think of it this way the most she can say is no then its over and when you do this make sure no one is around you don't want her to be embarrassed and man just show her the good in life and how to be happy and if she asks for time give it to her if she takes a month to figure it out give her a suttle hint if she turns you down then well try someone else that's all you can do and do it to the best you can good luck if you need anymore help ask me I will help ya brother


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What Girls Said 1

  • One thing about guys like that is that not only are they usually hot - they are usually really fun, exciting and lively. Just fun to be around and charismatic. That draws a lot of girls in.

    I'm not trying to be mean but you come off a little needy. If a girl picks up on the fact that you are head over heels early on, that can be kind of scary. It's like okay calm down dude you barely know me. Just chill out and try to get to know girls casually, don't meet a girl and think oh this is the one girl I truly want to settle down with.

    You're 19 years old. You are not the only person that doesn't like the party lifestyle but you do realize I'm sure that most people are in to that. Most people do meet each other at clubs and parties where their defenses are lowered. If you do not want to partake in that environment you can meet a girl any where else...school, bookstore, arcade..wherever you hang out.

    If you give off a negative vibe you can't expect people to overlook it. Why should they? They don't know you. If you want to get to know girls then you have to get rid of whatever negative vibes you have because people don't really want to date someone that's down on themselves all the time. You said you have a good family, your smart, you live a clean lifestyle and have a lot of friends. Those are all positive things so try to find something to be positive about.


What Guys Said 1

  • anyone who dates an idiot _is_ an idiot.

    a lot of girls your age are dumb as a sack of hammers when it comes to selecting guys. lots of girls your age are addicted to drama, and bad boys will give them lots of drama.

    there's also the possibility that you're overlooking girls who are interested in you, and want the exact same things you want. "nice guys" have a habit of fixating on a perfect 10, and worshiping her from a distance. this is a way for the nice guy to avoid rejection and intimacy. so while there are a lot of foolish girls, you also could benefit from changing your behavior.

    "I don't know what it takes to get a GF," you write. here's what it takes: you ask out a lot of girls. you'll have to ask out 5 girls to get 1 date, and you'll have to date 5 to 10 girls to find one who's a good match for you. so if you want to find a girlfriend, you'll have to ask out roughly 25 to 50 girls.