If a guy says he never lost feelings for you, and then asks if you could not be mad at him?

[Anonymous]

& If you could start over be friends.

If he wants to be friends then he does;'t have FEELINGS for you.

Wouldn't guys want to be more than friends if they have feelings for you?

& If he thinks you are mad &you are not , does that mean he has done something that he feels guilty about that you don't know?

& Does the starting over mean starting over FRO having feelings to just being friends..

I don't understand EVERYTHING seems like contradiction.. Especially since I was never 'mad'.

Updates

+1 y

:) I think there should be a question mark next to each a question, sorry lol




1? 2? 3? 4? - Thanks :)

[carric77]

"Wouldn't guys want to be more than friends if they have feelings for you?"

-Though this is true, one way how guys can be friends with girls they like is to deny themselves the possibility of relationship, which is difficult for most to do. Since he clearly has 'feelings' for you, one thing girls do which sets me straight is to ignore me blatantly. This helps 'feelings' cool down and after days/weeks/months apart I grow apart to the point where I can go back to them as 'just friends' with no emotions attached, so I won't care if we can't spend time together, for example.

Whichever route you take here, I suggest if he starts incorporating these emotions into the friendship you should take a step back and see him less; guys should get that message. If he doesn't give you space or seems disturbed at all when you say no to requests to get together or hang out after you go through cycles of 'step back'/'be just friends', I'd say to let him know if this is a friendship then he needs to treat it as one. If he isn't okay with that, then he can leave the friendship.

[Elcristoph]

hello,

well without pointing out the obious there saying they never stopped thinking about you, they feel that you were the one that got away and they still kick themselves about it..

-Chris

[Asker]

Well, actually, I thought he meant, that he used to like me before, but not necessarily now... I've known him for 4 years.

[Anonymous]

That sounds very confusing. I think that's really unfair on you, him telling you he still has feelings but just wants to be friends. I think he needs to seriously needs to consider what he wants before giving you mixed information. Tell him that he should call you when he's got his priorities straight.

[Asker]

I wonderr if fact that when told me he had feelings for me,& I didn't SAY anything, affected change? idk.

I was sort of shocked when he told me& needed time to think about, & he kept talking & explaining why he could not tell men before - Tho,I think, if he wanted to he would have

Anyways after a couple of hours I got irritated, because he said did not believe that I did not have expectations of him

I kicked him-reflex- he tapped my foot 1st

That's when he talked about starting over

-idk

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like you both need to sit down and seriously talk about it.

I can understand you not saying anything back, it can be a bit daunting if you weren't expecting it.

If he says he honestly does have feelings just tell him how you feel. If you wanna give it a go but you're not sure just take it really slow. And make sure you both enjoy being together and have fun with it. Don't make it serious if it doesn't need to be =)

[Asker]

Lol thanks.

It is always a bit serious with us -I actually have to work to keep things light, which is sort of a contradiction in terms...

Anyways, do you think he meant to retract what he said about his feelings, or maybe he decided he didn't mean it?

I don't want to bother him about it tho - I mean he talked about it for like 5 hours & I think he did not even want to then, but just felt like he should.

PROBLEM is tho, since I wanted to listen I did not say much- he doesn't know what I think.

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds quite likely that he said just to be friends because you said nothing. I mean, if you pour your heart out and the other person says nothing it cuts pretty deep. If I don't say I love you back to my boyfriend he gets a bit upset.

It's just so much easier if everyone knows where they stand.

So just talk and say that you don't like to keep bringing it up but that it;s better for you both to know where you're at with each other. If he just wants to be friends then at least you know.

[Asker]

Yeah I know.

lol.. I'm just worried he will feel like I'm holding on to something - like I feel like he talked about it by accident & it has been sooo hard to get things normal between us- its been really difficult , he really liked me when we met & I had no idea what to do in relationships & I came off as a jerk- I sort of feel like he forced himself to hate me-

He is just starting to melt a bit but still on the cold side - & I don't blame him, I just don't want to screw things up.

btw thanks

[KrazieSexxiiKool]

meaning you still have feelings for them & you just can't let them go but your afraid to lose them so you keep close to your heart andryou remind yourself daily that he/she means the most to you still.

[Asker]

"...you can't just let them go ^but your afraid to lose them so you keep them close to your heart.."

Do you mean , if you did not remind yourself of them, you would forget?

I think the 'but' confused me, otherwise sounds really sweet.

Thanks.

[ilyurbella]

if I said that to my boyfriend, I would only be saying it because I did something wrong. this sentence sounds as if you should say it more to an ex than to a former boyfriend or girlfriend

[Asker]

Hmm-you mean like they feel guilt?

Well I thought the Q/ because someone I used to like/ date said it to me.

I only said boyfriend girlfriend to make clear that there was history- tho not necessarily a relationship.

In my case , we got involved real quick because we were both leaving for a year in like 2 weeks.

Thingsgot confusing very quickly & I stopped talking to ihm.

Then we sort of had a hard time talking again when I ca,e back - after him

9 months after I returned, that is what he said after 4 years

[Asker]

What kind of thing would you have done, to get you had said that?

Thanks.

[ilyurbella]

If I cheated on him. that's the only reason why I would tell him that

[Asker]

Ohhhh.

lol I wonder if he feels like he cheated on me ( I was told he was seeing someone while I was away & when I came back, but it didn't bother me - he wasn't mine & I was gone most of the time)..

He seems to feel guilty but I don't know why - I can't figure it out, because we were not exactly officially going out or anything.

I know he was trying to sat something but I really do not understand it - it SOUNDS like fairly simple statement, but not really.,...

[GreedyBoy]

Sounds like he really cares about you but wants to move on. Sometims a little jealousy will do the trick to get a dude out of this stage.

[Asker]

Hm why would he say that if he wants to move on- I think I agree but I wonder why you said what you did...

I mean it felt more like a confession then a declaration and it felt he was saying I it like he might have a different reaction if I responded..

I almost felt like he was trying to get me ti say that I had feelings for him, so he could say 'i want to move now' or something meaning that.

Whatmakes you feel like you want to move on ??

I NEVER get into relationships - probably so I do not-

[Asker]

Have to FEEL that..... it is a bad feeling , wether a guy loses interest or I do, either way it sucks, so I really try to avoid it.....i don't like breaking up- or the idea of it, so I just do not get involved, in a way that you have to break up.....

[GreedyBoy]

Well he definitely cares about you no doubt about it or he would lose your number asap and you would have your answer right there. This is just my opinion now so you have to take it with a grain of salt. But in saying that, it seems blatantly obvious that he holds to much power over your relationship. He has all the cards in that he knows you like him more than he likes you. The whole challenge factor is missin. Try not calling him as much-turn off the attention for a little bit.

[Asker]

I don't call him he comes to see me.

I do not talk on the phone we do not talk on the phone

I do not understand.

If I do ont get into relationships, why do you say HE has all the power in the relationship.

Exactly what does that mean. he has too much power in the relationship - why do you say that?

Why is it an issue of power?

btw he does not think I'm mad at him because he broke up with ,e - I have no idea why I should be mad at him.

Could you tell me what picture you have in your head?

[GreedyBoy]

You have to start with the maxim that power corrupts. Switch places with him. If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was analyzing everything you did as you are doing his actions. You would be a little turned off. You care too much-bottomline. You are overanalyzing everything and its making you look needy and that is very unattractive. You need to take a step back and realize that you will be just find without. BOTTOMLINE- you want him but you don't need him. ADOPT THIS POLICY ASAP

[Asker]

Omg what ere you talking about.

first of all I already said I do ontintend ro get into a relationship with anyone.

second if I thought he was analyzing what I was saying, I would think he was doing it because he is confused & bewcause since he knows he is not straightforward with me, he could assume I am not being straightforward with him.

As far as looking needy, I am not concerned if he or anyone else thinks I look a certain way, the thing that matters - is if I respect myself &others. -

[Asker]

The reason I ASKED this question wss to see if anyone ever said conflicting things like this before to someone.

Not if he likes me - because how could you possibly know, & certainly not to ask for advice on how to ACT.

I am very happy with how I act& I do not appear the least bit desperate to anyone wo knows me.

He is cotradictory& it seems confused.

You do not seem able to pay attention to anything ekse other tha yor assumptions- I do not think youhave asked me once to clarify anything:)

[SomethingClever]

He's a nice guy who doesn't know what he's doing. He likes you, he's just inexperienced and you probably make him nervous.

[Asker]

Lol Why would I make ihm nervous ha ha

:) Thanks for answering btw.

I;'m actually used to getting along fairly well with everyone..

W e gort along fine when we met - I don't know why he got weird.. I did stoop takling to him for a while because I was confused, but that was years ago - & I've been trying to be more straight forward now. - In action not in words...

I would never bring it up, because I do not want to drag up the past in case it is disturbing for him- but I'm trying to be diff.

[Asker]

You probably make him nervous." what does that refer to? What do you mean? umm why lol?

(say something clever ^ ^)

[SomethingClever]

Nervous cause he likes you and he probably doesn't wanna mess things up. Honestly, if he wants to keep you in his life, then he still likes you.

[Asker]

Oh I see. lol thanks that's pretty clear way to look at it ha ha :)

[HitByTheTruth]

Well, I think that is self explanatory don't you think = ) Just means how ever he felt before about you is the same way he feels today.

[Asker]

Just wondering... Actually, I thought he meant, that he used to like me before, but not necessarily now... I've known him for 4 years.

[torryrose]

no it just means he's a jerk

[Asker]

Wow, I don't even understand what I wrote lol

i think want to spam it..

but I do not understand how yuo came up with , it meaning he is a jerk?

why would you say he is a jerk?

What does jerk have to do with it?

[chiefnavarro]

what did you do

[Asker]

What do you mean lol?

I didn't do anything he thinks I'm mad at him for some reason that is not clear to me, & I am not sure if it is clear to him.

I think he might be mad at me because I stopped talking to him when we started dating, - not intentional, just my way of dealing with things at the time ( I grew up trying not to like people )

so anyways I can't tell if it is projection or revenge lol whatever it is I am not mad at him right now & I do not know why he is insisting that I am..?

[chiefnavarro]

I think you answered you own question

[Asker]

Lol no fair I had multiple possibilities.... can't you just choose one? ha ha

Hey, you could actually answer the questions lol I think I asked like 4 in my original post :)

Just put a question mark on each - Thanks :)

[chiefnavarro]

He likes you he doesn't know what he did wrong