Best way to give a male barista your number?

[Anonymous]

There is a definite mutual attraction, he gave me a large and charged for small and talked to me a lot. The only thing keeping me from being 100% confident is the fact that i'm basically 17 and he's 23. I'm not bothered about the age difference and he seemed to have kept flirting even after i told him my age.

What is the best thing to say as i hand my number? Should i write anything other than just my name and number on the paper?

[Lovelinefan]

Hmm.
Rather than just handing him your number, why not suggest a date?
Maybe something like "So you work here all the time, this coffee must get old after a while huh?"
("Yeah, if I drink another mocha from here I probably won't ever drink coffee again, haha")
"What other places are good around here?"
("Well, there's a Turkish place on the other side of town that has really good coffee, much different than the coffee here...")
"Oh cool, I've never been there, I'll have to check it out. Would you want to go with me one day when you're not working?"
("Sure, I've been wanting to go back there for a while but haven't made the time!")
"That would be fun, let me write my number down and you can call or text me and let me know when you've got the day off"

Or I guess you could just write your number down and say "Hey, we never have time to really chat when I'm here buying coffee since there's always a line. You seem like a really sweet guy, I'd love to get to know you a little better. Here's my number, if you want to grab a bite one day give me a call."

Good luck :-)

[Asker]

Thank you so much! My only issue is that i'm quite shy and feel like making a quick exit 😂 What do you think of me just writing my umber on a piece of paper with my name and an 'x' and saying something quick like 'here's my number, we should hang out sometime' or even just write 'we should hang out sometime' on the piece of paper and just sliding it over the desk then walk out 😂 Just because that way i don't even have to see his reaction properly as i'm shy 😁 Loool i'm probably over complicating this. Also. What do you think about the age difference?

[Lovelinefan]

You're young enough that you might be able to pull that off, but old enough that you should probably work on becoming a more confident woman who can strike up a conversation with a stranger.
As a former very shy person, I can understand how the thought of this makes you feel... It's scary to put yourself on the line and risk embarrassment or fear his reaction, but when you really think about it, the worst that can happen isn't actually that bad.

Unrealistic worst case scenario:
You ask him or hint to him that you would be interested in meeting up with him outside of work and getting to know each other and he bursts out laughing at you and says "are you crazy? No way, I would never!"
The stranger behind you overhears the conversation and thinks "Wow this guy is an immature jackass" and the rest of the people there hear something going on but don't know what just happened.
You leave, embarrassed, but life goes on and eventually some cute guy asks you out and it turns into love.

[Lovelinefan]

More likely he gets nervous and excited and says "Yeah, that would be great!", or maybe he blushes and says "Sorry, but I have a girlfriend and she probably wouldn't like that. Thank you though!" and feels great for the rest of his shift that you asked him.

There's nothing wrong with the age difference, guys are usually a few years behind girls as far as maturity and you're both young adults. You are probably finishing up high school and he might be out of college already, so it might be a little difficult but not impossible by any means.

However, you're dealing with a 23 year old so unless he's still at a 17 or 18 year old level of maturity (are you sure you'd want to date a guy like that?) or you're going to have to relate to him at a 23 year old level.

Push your boundaries, go outside your comfort zone. He likes you from the sound of it, this is a safe place to practice being more confident and outgoing.

You can do this. It will feel good no matter what happens. :-)

[Asker]

You're right :) yeah I feel like I'm quite mature for my age, I don't relate to a lot of things people at my age do, I'm the youngest of 4 so I'm used to always being around older people but it's down to him at the end of the day.

Just to let you know I went there today and ended up giving him my number, he was actually sitting down doing work when I got in and stood up to speak to me when he saw me. He started a conversation twice and then after I got handed my drink I said to him 'listen I have to go, but take my number; we should hang out sometime'. He said 'yeah, definitely' and I walked away and he said 'see you later' and watched me as I left so we'll see. He now has my number, knows I'm interested but he hasn't messaged yet. I will try to not think about it too much but at the end of the day I have nothing to regret because I tried and respect his choice if he's not interested because of my age or whatever reason :) I came out of my comfort zone which is a step forward.

[Asker]

A while ago I would have never imagined myself doing something as brave as so whatever happens I am glad that I'm evolving and becoming a more confident person :) thank you for your help

[Lovelinefan]

Awesome!!!
He might not contact you right away because he may not want to come across as TOO excited. I suspect he will be calling you though :-)
Congratulations on this big step forward! Next time you're in a situation where you have to go out of your comfort zone think back to this experience and how easy it was once you're looking back at it.
:-) Thanks for the update!

[Asker]

I hope that's the case! Thank you very much, and no worries; I will update you again if he makes contact 😊

[Asker]

Hellooo again he just messaged me :) the message is literally just his name, I don't know what to say back 😂 Any suggestions?

[Lovelinefan]

Does he know your name? Did you know his name before?
If he didn't already know your name, now might be a good time to introduce yourself. "Nice to connect with you, (his name)! I'm (your name) :-) How long have you lived in the area?" (or some other question to get a conversation started and lead to suggesting a time and place to get to talk in person and get to know each other. I would suggest avoiding a long text message conversation to avoid confusion, misunderstanding, etc. (like if one of you took a while to respond, or only sent brief messages... it might not be a lack of interest, but could be interpreted that way by the other person as an example)

Ask what his schedule is usually like, see if there's a time when he would be available to meet up and get a coffee (or lunch, or go mini-golfing or whatever).

[Asker]

Well turns out that it was my friend that texted me his name but I didn't have her number saved as I got a new phone but I had asked her to send me a text and it didn't matter what it said but it only came through until late, she was the one that was with me when I gave my number so she just said his name for a laugh 😂 But he did message me, and the conversation is going well 🙌🏽

[Lovelinefan]

Awesome!
You've got this under control now, have fun! :-)

[Asker]

Thanks! :)

[madhatters4]

"i'd love to hang out sometime. maybe get something to eat" hand him your number. "call me if you're interested"

[Asker]

What do you think about the age difference?

[madhatters4]

i mean for me it would be something that would be a bit of a deterrent because i'd feel like we are at drastically different stages in life... and depending on where you live a romantic relationship could be illegal. but if it weren't illegal i'd be open to getting to know someone your age and seeing how things are going

[sharkymalarky]

"here's my number, we should get coffee sometime, I'd like to chat bit more with you"

[Asker]

What do you think about the age difference?

[sharkymalarky]

put it this way.. I'm in a long distance relationship with someone.. I'm 20 she's 27. as long as its legal I say it's okay

[Jack_stokes]

Ask for his then text him yours

[Asker]

What do you think about the age difference?

[Jack_stokes]

Weird but possible. Personally, I wouldn't have dated a 17 yr old at that ageven, but it does depend on the situation

[Zk15224]

is this a barista at a bar?

[Asker]

Coffee shop :)