Dealing with missed opportunities with a crush. What should I do?

[GirlFriday]

Back in February, I searched FB for a guy I used to have a crush on in school. We didn't know each other and I was always too shy to approach him. Five years later, I'm now 22 and he's 24. I added him on FB and he accepted most likely out of politeness. A few months back I deleted him in a fit of confusion thinking that it was weird that I try to make connections with him, I reasoned that I barely knew him in school and it was ridiculous that I should attempt to make friends now. I tried to put him to the back of my mind and move on with my life. For a month or two I did, but now the thoughts of him are back. I really regret not doing anything about it when I had the chance at 17. He's the only guy who's ever not known the way I felt/feel about him. I know that rationally this whole situation is stupid and should remain firmly in the past, but it's been 6 years and I cannot forget him.

I can't re-add him as that would look odd. I know that this whole thing is utterly irrational but it is breaking my heart. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

It's not stupid, go tell him. You have nothing to lose!

Just make sure he is single, or if you just want him to know you liked him say it!

not an amazing thing to say but here is an example: add him back to facebook, and say your facebook delete random friends and he was too hot/cute to not have on your fb...flirt with him...easier over the net anyway...then you can talk about high school and ask hey I always wondered about you...did you know you were my biggest crush or I've had a crush on you since high school, I always wanted to tell you! :P (<-whatever you want to add there really)

...I've actually had a similar conversation with a long time crush it worked for me, we dated...did not like him as much as I did when I had a crush on him though...:S

BUT I am glad I told him, because now I know I can get any guy I want with the right attitude and confidence. The convo I used is not the best, but it is an example.

as for forgetting about the past, yes do so, move on...but if this situation is bothering you now, then you need to deal with it now, and not dwell and wonder what if.

Do what you need to do to find your answer, don't be scared or worried about what he will think, we usually misinterpret when we are emotionally vulnerable...our minds wonder into negatives.

[yeths]

What's stopping you from re-adding him and finding out for sure if you can have something...the worst that could happen is he already has a girlfriend or he's just not interested and so what? you were never with him anyway, hell he could even be interested! be open minded about it, know that it could swing anyway. What you may need is closure and if closure comes in the form of knowing the truth (whatever that may be) I'll say it was worth it! .

[ChicThis]

I think you should message him and just be like "Hey, came across your profile, I had a crush on you in high school lol...your still cute ;)" its flirty but not too strong, your not asking him to marry you...lol. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Did you fall in love with him? If not, then you really do need to move on. I find myself thinking about past crushes when my current life is boring or empty. What's wrong with your life right now? Are you meeting people? Are you making use of the opportunities ahead of you? He's 24, and he most likely hasn't been living in the past for the 6 years. Do yourself a favor and look toward the future, and be more confident and secure in yourself while you're at it. Sorry that sounds harsh, but everyone one of us, including me, needed and needs a nudge and sometimes a push at different points in our lives. Best.

[Nachos28]

What does it mean to fall in love? For example what if I did fall in love with him? The same way I fell in love with him back in highschool. Why do I keep dreaming about him? And why do I have this urge to just tell him my feelings? In my case he was my first love. I missed an opportunity to tell him back when I was in highschool on the last day of prom. Thinking of what if, what if he actually felt the same way? It’s really hard to not think that way but why do we feel that way? Why do we think this way? Knowing that maybe he could be in a relationship with someone else? But still wanting to tell our feelings? Should we take that risk and see what can happen without knowing what will happen? Love is a leap of faith right? I don’t know how to think of this. Everyday living life just trying to find my one true love but what if I already met him in my past? Are my dreams trying to tell me something? Like I spend all night trying to think about this is this normal? I wonder.

[larry69]

Move on as harsh as this sounds..I am kind of in the same boat right now with a woman I used to work with..I missed the boat..not a day goes by I don't regret it!

[Cindaayy]

definitely message him! think about it, what's the worse that could happen?

[GirlFriday]

Uh- that's a bit difficult. You see I added him back in Feb and then a few weeks later deleted him in a fit of "DOn't-be-so-stupid-this-will-never-happen" frustration. Re adding him would look stalker-ish. In high school we never even spoke so a message out of the blue would look odd. I have no idea what to do.

[Anonymous]

"don't worry about the people in your past. there's a reason they didn't make it to your future." & "eveything happens for a reason"

[tsg85]

Forget about him and move on.

Let bygone be bygone, no use hitting yourself for not doing anything in the past.