Should the girl be the first one to tell a guy that she likes him ?

[Anonymous]

Girl has dignity, morals, and whatever else that would never allow her to be the first one to tell a guy that she likes him.

I was never the first one to tell a guy that I like him. I'm guessing that I have read many books that portray that a woman should't

take the first step. But the times when Jane Austen, Alexander Pushkin, have passed. But the girls' dignity shouldn't have.

What do you guys think?

[chadwickc2]

traditionally it has always been our job to take initiative. While it puts a guy in the driver's seat it actually often sucks because we risk rejection ALL the time from women. Also many women like being ignored.

Anyway I believe many women miss out on meeting ideal men because either these men don't realize that these girls like them, are too shy and/or fear rejection if they are honest about their feelings. If a girl is forward it removes all the guesswork and trust me that is SO nice. NOTHING slutty or undignified about that at all!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being assertive with men. The best way to do it is too be really obvious to him at first. Be around him, smile and look into his eyes. Ask him how he is doing and what he is doing. Make light contact with him (grab his arm or even give him a playful shove) Ask him if he would like to hang out with you. You can say "I like you" overtly w/o actually saying it. If he still doesn't get the point (and men don't read signals the way most women think they do) then just outright say it.

Just a few warnings:

1. If he's a player he might ignore you after you tell him you like him just to "play the game". If he does that ignore him in return. He's doing that to make you like him more.

2. He might take this a green light to get straight into your pants. I don't know if you want that or not, but make sure he realizes where you would like the relationship to go.

3. He might get nervous/scared. This is the best possible scenario because it means he really likes you and isn't just looking for sex. If that happens just give him time. The nervousness will pass. TRUST ME.

4. He might not be interested you. That would be unfortunate, but just move on to another guy.

Good luck!

[ketfoen]

Well everyone has their own sets of dignity and morals which they live by, some more some less.

In my opinion, if you really like the guy that much, go for it. If he shows the affection back which you have shown him, then ur in luck, if he doesn't then you can continue on with your life, even if it does suck and you might end up eating 3 bowls of ice cream and watch Tom and Jerry re-runs.

If you keep waiting for a guy that won't make the first move, then you might end up losing him to another girl that does have the courage to do it.

Asking someone if they could like or even love you isn't lowering yourself, its finding the courage to do it, that's hard.

[Simple-Simonette]

Tell that to the media or to the followers of "He's just not that into you" or whoever else is out there spouting to every woman that approaching a man is akin to begging.

That's what "morals and dignity" have to do with it all - if a girl has to take the first step, then she is desperate/easy and guys would lose respect for her.

I've never met a man who wouldn't like to be approached by a woman personally. But reading or watching the popular media today, it's as if we had time warped back to the 1950's when girls are supposed to line up and wait for a guy to ask her to dance.

What I've learned is that most men are open to being approached, and due to their own experiences with rejection - they are also more prone to say yes or more sensitive about rejecting a woman.

As a young woman, I was the one who approached men. I was impatient, I hated the whole ritual of courting - so if I found a man attractive, I asked him out. I asked my husband out, as a matter of fact. And I know if I would have waited for him to approach me, I would still be waiting today.

So, my opinion of it all is to do what you want. Yes, the opportunity to be rejected is there but it can't beat the thrill of taking matters into your own hands.

[quackingkafreen]

I don't see why guys are always obligated to make the first move. I find that for a relationship to last there has to some sort of a balance, in whatever form it maybe. Girls may have dignity, morals, and such, but guys do too. Girls may also by shy, self conscious, and what not but like before guys are too. So being first to make a move just means you want the relationship bad enough, you're willing to take a risk, and gave more for the relationship.

[Lockjawx27]

Great comment...you understand that in order for a relationship to work it has to be 50-50 or at least close...

[quackingkafreen]

Haha, thanks. Just doing my part.

[Snacks]

Wouldn't that be nice.

I always read here about people who have girls just flat-out approach them, while an example of what I get is one girl offering me part of her lunch every day while I don't really know what to do.

But what the hell do dignity and morals have to do with anything?

[hojoon]

I don't see a problem with it but for some reason, the guy is supposed to make the first move. I don't think this means that you shouldn't. I think it's awesome that you like this guy, and you should like him enough to tell him. Just ease into it, and let him know when you're alone. :)

[here4you]

Just tell him!

If he likes you it makes our lives easier!

Just make sure after he knows that you like him he won't lead you on...

[Nyssii666]

It depends on the situation and the personalities of the people involved. If the guy is really shy then the girl should say they like them first. Because it'll help give him some confidence.

[Anonymous]

Ask the guy out. For a long time women have been described as the "weaker" sex. So don't let it appear that's how you are. Show the men that you are just as brave as us. You need to be a strong confident woman.

[Anonymous]

In dating game I think boy always tell that, I like you, girl can also tell but mostly boys do that..

[dvdkn7]

wtf do morals and dignity have to do with this? so ur saying guys don't have morals and dignity so they should ask first ?

[ice-bella]

oooh I feel you I'd never be able too do it...

[frustratedchump06]

sure, what's wrong with a girl initiating?

[gtex1991]

yes