Should girls reach out to a guy first?

Question

Dargil · Accepted Answer

In my parents and grandparents' days, no. But in today's Feminist, Social Justice and Me Too cultural scene, the social, legal and financial risks to men have become unacceptably high, except in the repugnant Hook Up culture. Too many women today have become angry, predatory and vicious, because the culture has handed them a bad deal.

So they get desperate and give themselves away on the first date (multiple times); often with no second date to follow; instilling even more resentment, do without or flip over to other women. They are denied the opportunity to become "Trad Wives", which so many dreamt about in the past, rejecting it, because it is not trendy.

Ironically, women of the Victorian era and early 20th century had a novel approach. The called it "dropping the Handkerchief". At a Ball or Cotillion, ladies would simply drop their Hankie at the feet of a favored man as they walked by him with a friend and then sit down as wait for him to ask them to dance. Of course, he would pick it up and would do so, and of course she would accept. No tension. Just messaging.

You can do the same thing for any guy who interests you. Even out of the blue. You can print your number on a sticky note, walk up to him and say: "Maybe you can buy me a coffee sometime and we can get to know each other". And press it into his hand. He never has to call and you never have to expect it. No tension, no sex, no expense, no risk. Just messaging. If that had happened to me, I would have welcomed it.

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

Depends..
You don't have to, guys will come to you.
But you won't have say on who comes up, you'll be served those who dares to try and those who excells at that are the ones who will always have options beside you.
I'm not saying they're all crap, just that chances are higher.

If you want to feel powerful and independant, you got to make your own decisions about what decisions are available.
Most men are scared shitless the first times they approach, if they're at all understanding they'll respect your effort.

But most of all if you try, try and try again despite the fear.. you'll be stronger and on a good path. You'll thank yourself down the line.

If this is just a text..
You just press send and be natural about it.
But straight to the face makes impressions.

BrownSugar00 · Accepted Answer

I think that if you're interested in the person, go introduce yourself and get to know them. Show actual interest in them. Who cares. Most guys are turned on by that because it shows how confident she is. But most guys are turned off because of different factors. But you don't want those types of guys anyways, right?

Guccigabbana18 · Accepted Answer

Yes they should. If he likes you, he will love it. Just play it cool and make conversation, treat him like a friend in your texting with him. If he doesn't like you or doesn't show interest, you wouldn't have acted desperate and at least you tried.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Well you are at least 30 so don’t be.

Men still do most of the reaching out but some us have gotten so jaded by the confusing landscape and pítfalls that we are giving up unless we know for sure the girl is interested. An we don’t nor ever will be able to read a woman’s mind.

All you have to do is say hello to him and start a simple conversation. It will make it less guesswork for him and also make him more comfortable asking for a date. But you have to let him straight up know that you are interested. Just texting him hello and asking about his day is not “desperate” in any stretch of the imagination.

smne35 · Answer

For what exactly, if it's about women issues no, if it's about family issues, no, if it's about homework and you have same class, maybe depends on what his grades are like, if it's about wanting to get with him and your certain he's worth you and feeling is mutual but your both just too shy to make first move then, yes if you sure it's mutual and only shy ness is barrier, but only you know what you want to reach out for first kinda sorta wasn't too clear on what your reaching out for hand shake or bite of his burger or his wallet I don't know but you do

HawkPerception · Answer

If you're interested in someone you should reach out. It really is that simple. Most girls just expect or hope to be approached by a guy they're interested in and the guy would be oblivious until he's gone and nothing will ever happen. Take life into your own hands. What's the worst that could happen? They say they're not interested? Even if they tell you to fuck off, it just means you dodged a bullet. But most guys are very receptive to being hit on.

Nik1hil · Answer

It has always been that way, since the dawn of time.

Girls always made the first move, by doing something that gives guys opportunity!..

- drops her handkerchief.

- Goes out to buy groceries and flowers, to worship, to get water etc.

- Even in the past Girls did activities and other stuff, to give guys an opportunity, like sewing or knitting, an excuse for guys, "I tore my shirt or pants." can you sew and repair it?

- Why are you scared?

JacobJordan · Answer

If you want to sure. The whole "worst they'll say is no" used to be what we said to guys but women very quickly made sure they were being extremely disrespectful instead of saying no. So it now applies more to ladies because most guys will in fact let you down gently if not interested.

Paul09 · Answer

Well everyone should or could do it. I myself would like being asked out. But also I don't want to end up rejecting some one if Im not interested back. I know from experience. It sucks, it is scary. So that would be a real mood and confidence booster if I had been asked out by a crush or what not.

nawtee_me · Answer

It is not just guys… if you want something in life then don’t wait for it to come to you. Don’t be two ships passing in the night….

He may be a little scared too and the reason he hasn’t said anything to you. Talk to him, ask him to hangout a little while.

Anonymous · Answer

If they know what they want and don't want to waste time. Women are Notorious for being subtle. So subtle in fact that no one except her knows she has any interest in him at all. Guys cannot read minds.

Look at it this way. The worst he can say is no.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

If they have enough confidence to do so, why not?  In fact, when I was younger, I asked myself:  "Who said I shouldn't?"

Summeroflove · Answer

If you want someone. Yes. I say the same for both genders. If you wait…. You’ll probably see them with someone else

Anonymous · Answer

It depends, really. Typically it's best for them to give "green lights" to the guy to approach her. But if that doesn't work and if she REALLY wants the guy, she'll have to approach. For a lot of girls though, their desire for a guy IS influenced by 1) whether or not he wants them enough to approach, and 2) whether or not they have the BALLS to approach. And that makes sense. Because an uninterested guy or a dude with no balls is pretty useless to most girls.

BadApple69 · Answer

Why not… let’s be honest. Girls can drop hints that they are interested but most the time guys are too stupid to see them. So it’s smart for the girl to reach out first.

Theisrar · Answer

This is varying from region to region, i. e I am from Pakistan here we see mostly male dominance,80% of the don't approach but in india being in East there girls are way more approaching than Pakistan. If we extend a word about western region they are so approaching.

AutumnSerenity · Answer

I don’t see why not. As women, we’re pursued all the time. Men aren’t accustomed to it so it’s nice to give that back every now and then.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

If you like him, go up and ask him. Better to know than not know. And it's completely OK for a woman to ask first.

sawno · Answer

Absolutely, the chance of getting him are much higher and guys are kind rejectors.

pethouse · Answer

Yes, back in the day it was usually the guy that reached out to girls first but these days are way different. Men are scared and not just from rejection but from a bunch of stuff like being accused of sexual assault or sexual harassment for example.

rosemilk · Answer

not sure what you're afraid of. just do it. you're making this out to be more serious than it actually is lol

tiff_tiff · Answer

Just text him about casual things and see how things go. If he is interested he will get the hint and ask you out.

WhitneySnow · Answer

There’s no reason why you shouldn’t. Don’t be scared. He won’t be mean to you even if he doesn’t like you that way.

boggboss · Answer

Their is no issue in 2023 if a girl reaches out first

turnpost · Answer

Talk to him ask him questions. Say theoritical scenarios of engagement. What is his financial portfolio look like. Any ambitions any decisions made? Any loose children? etc.

syncheart · Answer

It is perfectly fine for you reach out to a guy first. If He appears to have good character, then you might get yourself a really good guy.

MysticDevice · Answer

Yes. Do it. Many very shy, nervous, and timid guys who you might otherwise never get to be around would very much appreciate that.

MissBoogus · Answer

I think girls should reach out equally as guys do, and every relationship is different too. Probably whoever the less shy one in that dynamic is

SunnyRS · Answer

Sure if you feel strongly about someone then you should otherwise you will feel regret for the missed opportunity.

MountAverage · Answer

Are you asking us to tell grown women what they should or shouldn't do?

Sparkie460 · Answer

There's nothing wrong with it if she does. Go for it. I doubt he'd turn you down

austinbooth · Answer

I have a lady who always reaches out to me if she needs help. I see no problem

moviedude714 · Answer

Reminds me of a popular image meme that makes me very mad and annoyed

Mikey805 · Answer

Absolutely some guys are just shy or they are clueless

Nice222 · Answer

I believe girls and guys are equal. So either one can reach out first.

Pohjolan · Answer

Maybe we should just reintroduce dropping handkerchiefs.

shanshu · Answer

Yes, I hate it that us guys have to be the one that make the first move always

TheeTrybrid · Answer

😬😬 naaahhh if he doesn't call or text then that let's u know he doesn't like u

Djaay · Answer

I think you already know that answer. Doesn't attraction and chemistry do that anyhow?

robocop666 · Answer

if he likes you go for it and stop making us do that

Enginn · Answer

Why are you scared? You can reach out to us. I would like that

Captain_Kink · Answer

I would like it. I hopeless at picking up que's

Slim57 · Answer

Yes if they're interested and the guy doesn't reach out first

Yoda0334 · Answer

Yeah as long as you dont come across as offensive or rude. Try do it in a delicate manner.

ShellyBo · Answer

Just the smart ones.

Luméa · Answer

Yes, if she likes him, why not?

Tharithi · Answer

Of course not

systemsareyo · Answer

I wish they would 😅😊

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I don't believe there's a downside to it

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I feel like I know who this is.. 🤔😂..

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, you lose every shot you don't take

clampfan101 · Answer

Both should feel free to.

boobliker · Answer

Yes, they are just as scared as you.

Starrrboy · Answer

Don't let your dreams be dreams lol..

Wise4myage · Answer

Most guys would really like that. :)

pickles77 · Answer

Like for the first time?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

DreamLife7 · Answer

He doesn't like u. Jesus christ are u retarded

OddBeMe · Answer

If we want the species to survive

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Sure. Can't hurt to try.

Rc2020 · Answer

Nothing wrong with it

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

ABSOLUTELY

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

How are you 30-35 years old?

Should girls reach out to a guy first?

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