In my opinion, I think whatever made you answer the question should answer it for you. Both men and women are human and experience various surges of hormones (women especially). There's nothing wrong in giving both, all you need to learn is how the body of your woman work, knowing what to do and when to do it is especially important. It's makes most women more randy to please their men too. Mixing it up is good, but people are different. It's more sensible to finish up with penetrative sex though rather than risking been replaced by a shower head.
I don't mind using toys on a woman during sex either, or even just using toys on her to get her off. But yeah, that's a great way to look at it. My issue is the issue I ran into is that I always Ask (at so me point before sex) about their preferences and most women I've been with don't really KNOW what they prefer. Regardless of age. They just seem to have sex for the man or women they've been having sex with. Not often stopping to explore themselves or investigate what they even liked to answer me thoroughly. Then I feel sad for them and it ruins the whole mood.
Not every one has got it together. No matter how sexually experienced you might be, we are all still learning. So rather than asking, just make it yours. Don't what you like, how you like to please your woman. It's take different women different times/paces to get off. Some not at all.
But my female friends all prefer penetration but this is not because they don't like oral. But because oral makes them feel self-conscious and they feel selfish for enjoying it. So they avoid it.
Self-conscious, huh? I never thought that any woman could have felt that way when I've gone down on them, given the nature of the action on my part. How's that even possible?
Not all girls feel that way but many do. I think it depends on your immediate culture. In my area growing up, girls were never encouraged to talk about receiving, only really giving. We were told receiving was abnormal and we had the idea put in our head that guys would flat out refuse to do it so we shouldn't expect it. So giving became a normal idea for relationships and receiving is almost taboo. They feel selfish for enjoying it and can't focus on the pleasure so they eventually say they don't want it at all. Which is very sad. Plus it's very intimate to have someone lick you down there - it's the apprehensive thoughts surrounding it that inhibits girls from enjoying it physically. I hope I never have that issue because I want to enjoy it
Ah, cultural norms and biases. I get that. Yeah, that was a thing in Harlem I heard a lot too. Guys fronting like they ain't eat pussy. A friend in elementary (yes, I started early) asked me once if I "actually" did that with a girl. Yes the fuck I do dude. LoL Though, I never thought about how the girls felt about it besides avoiding the stigma of being a slut by having sex with, well, @ all to be honest. Makes sense. Thank you.
Hearing that when you're young really affects you. You tell yourself not to expect it when the only guys around you make it clear they will never ever perform oral sex on a woman but they expect to receive it.
Then when some of my friends met more mature guys suddenly saying they wanted to do it - they had no mental preparation and would overthink the whole thing. Spoiling the moment :( I still struggle to even remember that it is an option when I'm thinking about sex
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What Girls Said
19
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Really depends on the woman, for myself I can't get off while being given oral. For me it's too awkward and I don't enjoy it. For many other women it's the only way they can get off so depends on the woman
Receiving oral is good foreplay, for me. By the end... If it's good I'm almost begging to be penetrated. 😂 (I'm a horn ball) Giving... I'm content just giving and not receiving anything.
So, penetration is necessary, or simply a matter of convenience, or are you saying its about the correlation of oral stimulation and satisfaction that's tied with the desire to have intercourse?
Well, yeah, the combo I understand. But I meant JUST 👅. I've not had many partners, but most women I've been with over the years didn't cum from penetration cause they're afraid to piss all over the place. Apparently that's how their near climax feelings felt to them.
Personally, I can climax with oral sex but not with penetration alone. With penetration I just feel that I could climax, but I never do; I don't think I'm avoiding it or anything. Both are satisfying in their own way though.
Well, it's not 'somewhat' of an orgasm, generally most women only receive an orgasm or at least receive a better orgasm through oral sex, from what I've experienced and heard. So, I think most women would be physically satisfied from oral sex. However, there's still immense pleasure from actual penetration and a level of intimacy and connection with your partner that I personally don't feel through oral. It's not ust about receiving pleasure then, it's also about giving your partner pleasure which is why I think that even though most women would physically be satisfied through oral, they'd find a greater physical and emotional satisfaction if penetration was included too. There are lots of women (myself included) who wouldn't be with someone who refused to give them oral but I think the majority would still be unhappy if they couldn't have full intercourse with their partner, despite perhaps having their physical needs met.
I don't even enjoy oral at all. I'm not going to cumm unless my thighs are touching, or I'm riding on top of his dick, so oral is petty much pointless.
What is a you don't enjoy it at all. Do you let it be known that you don't enjoy it and just not allow people to do it, or do you let people do it knowing you don't enjoy it so you don't hurt their feelings and then get the dick before afterwards?
Giving head satisfies me enough. But if we talk about the ultimate satisfaction it involves penetration. (I'm not so much into receiving oral, I feel too selfish like that)
Why insecurity? And why not TELL the guy what you like? We instruct women all the time, or just let you gals have @ it of you don't ask for tips on satisfying us. We're fine with it most times even if we don't nutt because out dicks were touched! Lmao
I've never had a guy instruct me on oral. and its not that simple for some women to instruct.. it can also kill the mood
why insecurity? because wimen in porn look better than in real plus all the porn guys watch doesn't tell them about the smell and taste of a real vagina so women get worried they are odd and ignorant inexperienced guys accuse them if being diseased ir dirty and shame them about their bodies.
So, you would get licked and then feel satisfied only if you could reciprocate? Interesting. I've experienced that. I figured I just did such a good job. LoL Never thought of it as an impulse on her part. Ha! All ego!
Yeah, I've checked that. Its old data, and, its misleading as women have several levels of orgasm and many of those studies didn't factor in the psychological restraints behind women actually orgasming. They never take cultural aspects in mind. There HAVE been studies showing that more women report having orgasms in the last 30 years than ever before. I do know a thing or two about this. Its not an uninformed question.
Some of its older studies, some quite recent. But what it tells me is that the many women who don't orgasm from simple penis in vagina sex aren't broken or orgasming wrong. We are, however, often having our needs ignored. This type of woman has been called frigid in the past, or basically told her way of having an orgasm is wrong.
Neither men nor women come to sexual relations without cultural and family "baggage". These particular studies didn't get into that, but others have.
I repeat this particular fact often on GAG, so that young men and women learn that sex is actually quite a bit different than what they have been led to believe. To open minds to the real mechanisms of female sexual satisfaction, nee empowerment.
I often post correct anitomical diagrams of the whole clitoris, and tons of recent research on such - often post links to the published studies so other people can examine it themselves. I even speak to other sexologists, and researchers to get answers to questions I don't immediately know the answer to when someone is asking a serious question on GAG.
Yes, with more information and focus on female sexual satisfaction, more women are orgasmic - but that doesn't refute the 30% number I often give. It is about HOW women tend to orgasm, not total anorgasmia.
So then why repeat the 30% if you're pointing all of the evidence against such a number being accurate? With the various ways women climax (with or without any vaginal contact), with cultural norms properly shifting in many areas to covet instead of condemn any woman's personal sexuality, with "satisfaction" meaning much more than just an orgasm, with the long over due breaking of the medical focus of positive sexual health being predominantly about men, given all that, what was the point in trying to throw this completely made up number into this topic in the way you did? Your information is helpful, but in what way does this fiat statistic hdo it any justice? I'm glad you shared all this, but I can't even see how you answered the question I originally posed with what you've given here. That being said, I do thank you for your depth and insight. I would love to read your other posts as you clearly are learned and (I'm glad to see) passionate about this topic, if that's ok with you.
I DID answer the question at hand. I clicked a choice. I'm just providing the young people of this board with additional, factual information about sexuality, birth control, masturbation, etc. - all the questions they have the no adult is ever willing to answer honestly and explicitly. I ensure what I say is evidence based, and that I can provide references - I usually supply several different kinds of sources from popular media to the actual published studies.
You are a 37 year old man with some ideas about the female arousal and resolution cycle that aren't borne out by science. You won't allow yourself to be shown otherwise - you just attack the science, as if you know better than the people who are in the practice of researching anatomy and physiology of sex.
If YOU can prove my 30% statement wrong, with reliable, evidence-based sources, if you can prove these other claims you're making with reliable evidence-based sources - go right ahead.
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