How to detach from an unhealthy crush on someone?

[Anonymous]

The above and the fact that you see the person on a daily basis. Thank you

[observant1]

I've had to do this and here's the quickest way: Find something about him that turns you off and OBSESS over it - make yourself think of it every time you see him. He has a big nose? Bad teeth? Refuse to look at anything but his nose/teeth and hold your ground with YOURSELF! Because if you "steal" him from another girl that means he's got no backbone and won't break up with you before starting on a new secret flirting relationship like he's doing with you right now. You don't want that. If you want him, being ULTRA-firm and saying nothing beyond "You have a girlfriend. I don't think you should be talking to someone single, do you?" he'll get the hint he needs to cool it with you or break up with the other girl before persuing you.

Remember, being moral and honest will make him WANT you! Sure, he'll feel a little rejected at first but be polite towards him with firm boundaries and keep him at a deliberate distance. When he decides he wants his integrity to match yours, he'll make more appropriate moves. (Which he will - he will want what he can't have and right now he's got his cake and he's eating it too by having a Girlfriend & flirting with you for attention). This isn't manipulation, it's refusing to be an object and allowing your feelings to be hurt. Respect yourself and he will respect you.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer it has been very helpful. Why does he need attention from me if he is in a relationship? Surely there must be something wrong in his head?... I think I'm getting over the crush already lol.

[observant1]

There could be a million reasons, from something as simple as he is sick of his current gal to he has childhood attention issues. You never know but making him behave in a respectable way towards you does everyone a favor.

[Anonymous]

Well why don't you want to like him anymore? Focus on the reasons why it's not a good thing to want him. Realize you deserve someone who likes you as much as you like them. You can't make someone like you back.

[Asker]

I am so crushing on him it's insane. He knows I like him and I know he likes me too maybe in a physical way, he is always finding excuses to talk to me and be around where I am which doesn't help, problem he is in a relationship and he never made this clear directly too me other people have told me and now it's really messed me up and have realized I need to detach from him otherwise I will end up getting used and I also think I deserve better. Any suggestions? Thanks for your answer.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you could just tell him you aren't interested since he's in another relationship. Other than that I mean, you can try to avoid him and yeah, just get it into your head that you deserve better.

[ThatNikkiGirl]

Try internet dating and find another guy to crush on :p

[Confused614]

I think you just need to give it some time. Try to get some space away from him and just keep reminding yourself that he is involved with someone else already.