I agree with most of the other posts here so far. Nobody wants rejection. On top of that, you don't have to be "pretty" to be super cool. Guys and girls operate the same way: you're normally only going to a person out if they're showing interest in you. If that "pretty and super cool" girl doesn't show any interest because SHE thinks she's out of your league, then she's not going to get asked out. Whether she's pretty, cool, ugly, boring, obnoxious, it doesn't matter. Even a huge nerd with social anxiety issues will ask a girl out if he likes her and she's nice enough to give him the time of day. Happens all the time and unfortunately guess what? Most of the time the guy gets rejected because "she's out of his league". Sad day for all of you girls who just want a guy that will respect you and be nice to you.
Getting turned down hurts. Try it, it sucks.
People say it a numbers game. That's fine and all. If you fall, get up and try again right? But hearing you aren't good enough 99 times before you get that 1 person who will give you a chance really takes a toll on your ego.
Girls like to be looked at, chased after, told they are beautiful and cute. It makes them feel good and boost their ego. They never really have to realize their fears of not being good enough because most of the time they are the ones being chased. Guys have their fears realized every single time they try.
We're tough, we'll get over it, but give us a little slack, its hard.
This is a great answer.
Doesnt speak for ALL girls. I wish people would stop saying girls this or guys this. Isn't it enough you are a guy sharing your experience? Same thing with Q/A. totally prejudiced. I'll appraoch a guy if I like him. No way id be rejected 99 times- I won't like 99 guys. Its not a game where I try & and see who bites. if you actually like someone & get to know them, become friends, you are not left wondering if yoiu are going to get rejected... Some people are too impatient so you're always guessing.
"Girls like to be looked at, chased after, told they are beautiful and cute. It makes them feel good and boost their ego. They never really have to realize their fears of not being good enough because most of the time they are the ones being chased. Guys have their fears realized every single time they try."
dreamtime since you asked THATS my problem with it. What anyone who keeps making the argument that guys suffer because they have to be ACTIVE- keep missing is that to be passive is not human.
I wonder what kind of crazy chemical reaction you guys get thinking about stereotypes - something to make it so appealing- MORE appealing than actually try to understand what happens with real people not just your assumption. Anyways if you don't want 2 chase-don't chase. No 1 is making u. If girls are as passive aggressive as you say- they'll get bored of not chased. If they don't react ,they either are NOT interested or they recognize the reality that lots of guys freak out if a girl initiates.
Lol what's with the 99 girls rejection. Do you actually LIKE 99 girls or you are just trying anyone.It could be the fact you do not genuinely like or get a long with these girls that you get rejected. If you actually tried for girls you like, who like you ,u might get different results. People can feel when you are genuine or not. I really don't understand why you need to be asking all those girls out- don't you care about WHO you ask?
No 1 likes rejection-idk what q/a point is other than to attack
Guys who do not act the way she wants & girls who do not look the way she thinks should.
Anyways for guys who feel rejected I'm more interested in how you'd feel if girls approached you. After the novelty has worn off and you are used to it.. At some point you'll recognize people say- REAL men are SUPPOSED to chase woman & real women are supposed to be chased. The message is all over -probably why a lot of women exhibit the behavior you are talking about. What else is media but power of suggestion.
"I'll appraoch a guy if I like him. No way id be rejected 99 times- I won't like 99 guys."
That makes it WORSE. Because lets say you only like 5 guys out of 100. Now you have all of this emotional investment in this one person because now if those 5 guys shoot you down, you have to wait till you come across another 100 guys. The rejection is MUCH worse when you like someone than it is if you only slightly care.
"Getting turned down hurts. Try it, it sucks."
She's a hypocrite who won't be trying anything. Don't even bother to tell her. She criticizes men for no risking rejection, when in reality she could never do it probably
@superdudeman Girls aren't supposed to approach guys at all. They are supposed to look very attractive.
That's ludicrous, it isn't a "guy thing" plenty of girls date below their league. Being intimidated by super attractive people happens to me and I think if a guy has self-confidence issues your "get over it" attitude isn't going to do much.
If you like a guy who goes for girls less attractive than you and you think his only reason for not asking you is low self esteem then give the guy a break and ask him out.
Sorry if it seems harsh I just really disagree.
Thanks I liked your comment. I think the expectations we put on one another insure a non-relationship. Confusion about who should ask who first or gestures and facial expression that usually don't mean anything but are interpreted as meaning something good or bad. It makes me glad I don't date any more.
I agree with that. Initiating a relationship is confusing and as nice as it would be if people were straight forward about it all feelings make that option too scary.
to be honest I think people worry to much about this stuff after all everyone hates rejection but I don't think it has anything to do with being out of someones league. guys and girls are afraid of being rejected by the person they are into. after all when you like someone that's when it hurts and sucks not because there out of your league. and I don't think anyone would ask someone out if they weren't attracted to them.
Sometimes girls are just like that too...asking out guys, that are ugly instead of the guy they are really into. Two of my friends are just like that - so annoying to listen to them complaining that the guy they are into doesn't make a move on them...well, if they don't even look at them, it's kinda hard for the guy to notice their interest :S
Just sayin' I have no idea, why people compensate like this.
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Same reason women are. Why don't you go talk to the guy and open up first huh? Kinda a double standard bullsh*t if you ask me. You seemingly are asking/complaining about guys not asking you (or others) out because they're afraid of rejection yet I doubt you ever ask out a guy first. And I mean truly ask them out, not just hint at sh*t. I mean openly say "I wanna go out with you" or something.
If I'm wrong and you have, great, but this point is still valid to MANY women in the world. It's annoying as hell. Guys almost always have to be the first to open up their heart and feelings (and I mean truly open, not subtle sh*t that you girls THINK is open) and put it all on the line publicly to you or maybe others and then if we get rejected? Ya f*** that hurts. We deal with it, but it's not appealing.
You don't understand because you are not a guy. You don't walk around carrying the burden of having to be the initiator in all phases of relationships. You don't deal with the ridicule to which rejected men are subjected. Whereas a girl who is hurt will be comforted and helped up by her peers and parents, the same people will chuckle when a guy stumbles and then offer some choice advice like "man up" or "don't be such a p*ssy." Essentially, life is much more cruel to guys in the dating world. That's the hard part for us. The hard part for women comes later with child birth and motherhood. Dating for relatively attractive women, though, is comparatively easy.
Talk about a stereotype. I can't say I've ever been rudely rejected by a woman (well, maybe once, maybe), but then I never go to hot bars, clubs, etc. That said, rejection hurts. It hurts even more if you don't ask multiple girls out, because if you pine away for one for months and years and she says "no", you feel like you'll die alone.
My frustration is simple: many women I encounter seem to think I must be trying to take their panties off. Sometimes I'll approach a girl just to make a female friend I can drink wine or shop with. I've ask girls if they think this way and many have said they do. Get over yourselves, ladies; not every guy is a man-whore who will sleep with any guy 5 minutes from meeting her.
What's wrong with approaching a guy? My fiancee approached me and I thought it was cute, not slutty.
Guys minds are wired to value success and achievement. Besides the possibility of embarrassment, heartbreak, or disappointment, getting rejected is a failure to us. It means that there is something wrong with us that makes us undesirable.
Now besides that reason, the other ones I listed could also be factors to why a guy wouldn't approach. I could write seperate answers for each of them, but they are so common that we already know the details surrounding them.
Hey Brando. Great answer! I have a question, and would be thrilled if you'd give your opinion. I reconnected with a guy recently, we met again by chance in the street. He later called and asked to get together. He seemed quite dazzled when I met him, and all of a sudden he went for the kiss. I don't know what I expected, but I did NOT expect that. And in my confusion, I totally backed off, and went "Hey wait, you can't just think that I'm up for that, we only just met each other again in a while". Even though I actually wanted him to kiss me. No idea what happened in my brain. We did kiss a bit, but I was totally holding back and it was kind of awkward after that. He texted me later same day saying sorry for coming on so strong and that he hoped I didn't think he was a total jerk. We made plans to see each other again, but I haven't heard from him. So do you think he's just embarrassed and hurt now, or just not interested? Do I need to make things up to him and explain what happened?
@Katyyyyyy he was just a little over excited. Strike up conversation and make plans with him. Take The lead and help him see you were shocked
I think it's easy for you to say but still difficult for the guy. If you are truly interested in a girl, you may really feel badly if you are rejected. The problem may be the reverse. Perhaps girls should do a better job of letting guys know that you are interested. It would help.
im going to stop answering these types of questions cause girls still don't understand how rejection from a girl that we want hurts so much I guess its just if a girl gets rejected by a guy she won't give a damn and a girl can just move on to the next guy
Rejection is not to be taken lightly. It can damage our self-esteem and prevent us from asking anyone else out in the future, or at least for some time. If you think open yourself up more, and are friendly, then men around you won't feel so intimidated.
For the same reason I am, because they've been rejected. It takes a toll after a while. And some people are really rude when they reject you men & women. I don't think those people have ever had to be rejected in their lives.
First off, most girls I meet who describe themselves that way are neither - they are usually self-absorbed, obnoxious and picky. They p*ss and moan because their "ugly friend" got a guy that they wanted and tell themselves that he was just scared by her beauty. The truth is that "ugly friend" isn't ugly at all, and has a better personality to boot.
Fear? Yeah that's part of it. Why wouldn't it be? No one likes to be rejected, and when the odds are stacked totally against you it's even less fun.
I never ask a girl out who is over a 5, there is no point and a total waste of time.
With sexually knowing females in this millennium, if you’re a mere mortal type of guy who’s packing average thunder or below, you probably just want to steer clear of them and save yourself the humiliation.
Well, I was never afraid of rejection, I usually expect it xD .. I mean, it could be a "yes" or a "no", so why do I have to be upset? In fact, I'm kind of reckless when it comes to approaching girls, I just say what's on my mind, if it worked then great, if it didn't then screw it. xD
1. I know this is cliche buy looks aren't everything. I would never ask a girl out if I'm not attracted to her in some way. 2. Rejection or being ignored really hurts. I don't usually show it but it really hurts on the inside. 3. I'm a logical person... If I find that a girl and I won't be compatible ie nothing in common, I'll avoid asking her out to save both of us the pain.
I agree with digital haze.. and I'll add that for guys like me.. It's not like we've got tons of girls wanting us.. so when we find one we like, I know that at least I'm scared she won't like me.. then I'm back to.. finding one I like again and that hopefully likes me.
But I'm one of those horribly shy guys that needs a lot of courage to approach a girl I find attractive. So that plays in to..
The girls YOU call 'ugly' with disdain are usually a far better 'deal' and more interesting than the 'cheerleaders'.
Less spoiled, less superficial, less interested in material gain.
I leave the 'cheerleaders' to the football team.
I prefer that girl who's studying at the library.
I'm not afraid of rejection. Its actually the way that a woman is going to reject me. No guy would ever ask out a kind of ugly girl instead of a beautiful woman. Guys will just ask out a woman that's a 6 when they feel like they can't get with a woman that's a 7-10.
I v never made advances 2 an ugly,y?because am nt attracted 2 her talk more of her rejecting me,but I rarely ask a beautiful girl out though am kinda scared of rejection,but they seem so nice when you re good looking mostly and being conversative,.same with some not quite ugly gurls...
Yea, I see SOOO many girls asking guys out... just more sexism towards males..
Based on the fact that women are far less likely to approach and ask out a guy, I'd argue that women are more afraid of rejection.
Its not just that they're afraid of rejection. Its also the fact that they think if they ask a guy out than other women will think she's desperate,slut, or a whore.
Speak for yourself.
Why are women so afraid of "getting creeped out" by guys all the time? Them and their mad conclusion-jumping skillz.
well maybe it has something to do with past rejections in the early life of the man
and he still holds on to it
which kinda sucks but it sticks to you when you get rejected a bunch ha ha
girls can be really mean and rude .
I'm not at all like that - for you see, I am out of their league.. Simple. I don't really think it's fear of rejecting, but more the fear of "she's hot, then she must have a boyfriend.. a boyfriend that will beat the sh*t out of me, if I flirt with his girl".
I hear this a lot! Like I'm a pretty, tall, and thin girl, and I never get asked out. Most guys are like 'Oh I thought you had a boyfriend'. It's pretty annoying :/
because getting rejected hurts... even the toughest guy doesn't like getting shot down. as far as asking out "ugly" girls... I would never ask a girl out if I wasn't at least attracted to her in some way.
Try getting turned down by 100% of every woman you have ever asked out for all 41 years of my life...I doesn't get easier...it only gets harder and more hurtful with each rejection.
All women that I am attracted to are out of my league!
If you're so bothered and unafraid of rejection maybe you should get over yourself and go start chatting to guys instead.
Girls are also afraid of rejection, even more so than guys...
Yeah that's why they never approach.
Why the question? Do you feel that are a 'pretty and super cool' girl that is being passed up for less pretty and less cool girls?
Yes :(
You do realize that yo are not responsible for your looks and no more deserving because you happen to have good looks if indeed you do. Why should you get what you want ore so than any of the girls you feel mire deserving then? Maybe they like their personalities better? Not being super egotistical is always attractive in either sex.
Agreed.
it's human nature... PEOPLE are afraid of loss, rejection... that's why so many of em take the path of least resistance... and they are never happy...
Men live their lives with the illusion that they have total control. Rejection reveals the truth.
What's wrong with ugly people? Can they not also be 'super cool'?
It takes a toll on your self esteem and confidence. At a certain point your self esteem and confidence is so low that you are like "fuck it " I'm at the bottom now anyway so who cares if I get rejected one more time.
Hmmmmmm maybe I'm slow on the uptake, but I'm pretty sure this isn't exclusive to guys. It's more like a human thing.
But you know, fuck me, right? I'm all logical and all.
Easy for you because you don't have to ask guys but we have to ask girls and get reject you have no idea how much it hurt when you really like but they did not like you back. I give up on girls
Yea that suck but that the way of life you have to deal with it.
beacuse when you are rejected its like falling off a cliff and you have to work your way all the way back up again and sometimes its just not worth it
That's like saying your not afraid of zombies, and when you do see the zombie you scream your head off, but the thing is, guys have been dealing with the zombies there entire life. And the zombie is rejection
Why are girls so afraid to ask out guys? I think you will find its the same reasons as digital haze gave. So Think about it...
women dont even have hafl of the balls a man has. stfu unless you know it
Men are insecure. That's why we need a constant ego boost, and regular confirmation we are doing good. We take risks with our body and our lives, not our fragile egos.
when you get turned down its kinda like your rep going down cause first we think its going to go around and then your home oys going to be like oh bra you got dissed and stuff like that
I don't know. I'm just glad I've stopped dating. I'm much happier now!
what a ridiculous and false statement
which one?
Being afraid the other person won’t feel the same way or just can’t accept rejection as a whole
Going by your logic women must be scared to death about rejection since they never approach and don't even consider approaching
Hey, wanna meet?;)
we have a big ego :D
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