Why can’t men handle rejection?

Question

Why do they automatically assume that women are playing hard too get? Maybe she’s not interested in dating or maybe she’s already dating.

Miley19new · Accepted Answer

So many butthurt men are here! She didn’t ask why “no” men can handle rejection, she simply asked why some guys can’t. Probably because she had some bad experiences and i did too. There is no need to act like her question is completely invalid just because you think you can handle rejection well as a man.
I have seen quite a bit of guys whose egos got hurt and did everything they could do to hurt me back just because i simply and kindly rejected their advances.
About the women part, she didn’t say that all women handle rejection pretty well. I know that some won’t. In fact, one of my closest friends handles it pretty poorly and harms herself + ruins the friendship she has with the guy by pointing out everything that is wrong with him rudely.
So i guess people who can not handle rejections just face insecurities and ego problems.
I also still think that overall men handle it worse than women.

SexyAshh · Accepted Answer

Be on here for a little longer and see most men on here are the victims of constant rejection. Their bitterness and whininess is the most emotional I've ever seen, worst then the women! Lol

And men irl can't handle it because its a hit to their ego. If you reject them you are then a slut, etc.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

There’s rejection and RUDE rejection.

Here is the right way to reject a guy:

“Hey so so (always say his name). I have done this some thinking and I need to be honest out of respect (always use the word “respect”). I think you are a decent guy but the truth is I don’t feel the same way you do. I don’t want you to feel lead on and I’m being honest out of respect. I knows that’s disappointing but I don’t want to be rude and lead you on. I would like to be friends but I’ll understand if you don’t want to be. ”

Then leave it at that. Tell him that the moment you realize your not interested and he tries to contact you. Do NOT do the following:

play dumb
assume he’s okay with the friendzone (huge insult)
ghost him
act flaky
say you are too “busy” to date. Immature pathetic bs lie
tell him “oh some other girl will like you”. No stfu about that. You are the last person he wants to hear that from. It also shows you are naive and stupid you are fact that dating is much different (and harder) for men. Especially in the early stages
give him unsolicited dating advice. If he asks what he could of done better than tell him. But again your the last person he wants to hear that from UNLESS he asks
complain and/or ask about other guys you like to “give him a hint”. You are immature selfish piece of shit to insult him like that. It amazes me that women past 30 still do that crap. That’s the worst one of all.

by the way in my experience women don’t handle rejection well at all. They wig out, cry, get angry and last but not least try to chalk you up as “gay” if your not interested. I have never call a woman a “lesbian” for rejecting me.

1Sophisticatedme · Answer

Some man not all, they think very low of themselves, unless they are working out or doing something to better themselves to keep up with apperiences to attract girls. So when z guy gets rejected its sad to them bc they might feel like they are unattractive, not man enough for such girl, or just simply undateable... regardless man usually have it the worse, bc they don't have that make-up like i have, the cute face , the boobs, the ass and so forth... but guys need to realize too, girls can have it bad as not good looking, like having bad teeth for a smile, being over weight, not looking after herself and some girls don't bother with make up or they don't put anything to make their skin looking healthy naturally... for a man most of them have to work hard to greater themselves to have a successful out come to asking a girl out, if not then its a big hurt on their part bc its a fail for them for not being to attractive or have whatever qualities that the girls expect a guy to have for them to date them. Just my opinion.

Person234 · Answer

It’s natural for anyone to get upset over rejection and some men handle it better than others but the fact is rejection causes pain for everyone. A study recently showed the rejection lights up the same part of the brain as physical pain does.

It hurts, and some men lash out because of it. The issue is that too many men take it personally. It’s not personal it just means she didn’t like you. It can also hurt their egos too. I remember when I was single for a long time I tried so hard to improve myself. I worked out all the time, I am 6’4, toned, I went on trips by myself, I studied hard and got a degree but despite this I faced a string of rejections and it hurt. After several rejections I noticed myself getting bitter. The bitterness made me take the rejection personally and it made me insecure. It wasn’t until I learned to ignore rejection that I became happier with myself. I realized that a lot of women weren’t rejecting me because of my body or attractiveness but simply because they weren’t receptive to a man or an approach at the time.

I think this bitterness is what ultimately leads people to become Incels and MGTOW because they just never learn to not take it personally.

My advice: As a man for your own health never take it personally. Use online dating very sparingly, don’t read about the statistics on each of these sites. They don’t represent reality. Women still very much desire men and If you put yourself out there you will find someone who is interested in you, and until you do never stop working to improve your body and your mind. Don’t be fooled, it isn’t easy for us men and rejection is just a part of life for us but it doesn’t mean that we have to take is personally. After all, good things come to those who wait.

Anonymous · Answer

Ummmm...

Reaperbot666 · Answer

many men over time develop thick skin to being rejected. or they start to think some women are playing mind games with him to some degree. which is why many guys hate girls who play hard to get. a man asking out a woman is nearly 3 or more times likely to be rejected by a woman. even if he has decent game and/or looks attractive. then a woman asking out a man is to be rejected by man. because they require very little game and/or attractiveness. because at the end of the day many guys. are willing to date and/or sleep down in level of attractiveness. if it means they have a decent place to put their dick. however level of drama still plays a role. as to how long he'll stick around afterwards. where as many women tend to have slightly higher standards. for a possible partner sexual or otherwise. like his ability to provide for their relationship.

Nawlins34 · Answer

My honest opinion? I think porn ruined dating.

I think some guys are so used to watching it (porn doesn't reject you) that when they engage with a woman, they lack the skills to handle it. They aren't used to being told no.

For those that don't go that path? For unknown reasons, they eluded the lessons. You have to be rejected a number of times to get used to it. It's the only way.

Not_Average · Answer

I’ve seen more in the reverse. Women aren’t used to getting rejected as much, so it tends to hit them much harder. To answer your question- it’s rooted within their own insecurities. It doesn’t feel good to be rejected, and therefore it makes them feel as if they are of lesser value. Lashing out is a defense mechanism.

Smoothing · Answer

I think that is an unfair question. I think generally men handle rejection quite well with the exception of a few.

If your question was, "why are men persistent?", then I would say because women make us so.

A man's attitude towards a woman is usually determined by past experiences.

I have had both experiences where a girl has rejected me but got angry when I stopped perusing her and also got jelous when I started perusing another girl. And I have been in a situation where I was rejected and the girl meant it.

You have to understand that the dating game can be as confusing for men as women if not even more confusing for men than women.

It is always easier to make judgements if you are at the receiving end and not the hunter than it is to make judgements as a hunter.

Biancam13 · Answer

I think it says a lot about the guy with how they can handle (polite) rejection from a girl. I have had guys continue to pursue me after I said I wasn't interested, because they thought that just because they were attracted to me, I should be with them.

I think it's an entitlement / ego issue. Their egos need to make up for the fact that they were turned down so they try to 'make' you like them by persisting. Guys: Persistence DOESN'T work if the girl isn't into you. In fact it turns us off more. You can't make someone be attracted to you, you can just move on to someone you DOES like you.

Daniel3035 · Answer

Yeah or maybe she's pretending to be interested just so she can reject the guy for a self-esteem/validation boost to get that buzz/dopamine rush.
Funny though if you were in the guy's position guaranteed your response would be "I'm never approaching a guy again" at least the guys who can't handle rejection try and try again. These are big words from the gender that could never even approach a guy.
But let's face it at 32 your doing great right? Rejecting guys with your ridiculous standards that no man has thinking of an impossible perfect that if real would never actually bring you happiness.
I guess you messed with too many older guys now your passed 30 all those guys you messed around with at 18+ are the older guys and now all the new 18+ girls will go for them no guys your age will go for you (30+ year old) girls. In the end, men win and all those things you did to guys at 18+ we'll do to you at 30+ so enjoy your cats when your eggs run out you reap what you sow.

GoodManDave · Answer

There are plenty of men who can. I've been respectful about a "no." I don't get angry, I know enough not to ask why. I don't need to know, and often, I really don't want to know "why." Not everything has to have "closure."

That being said, I'm probably TOO respectful and diplomatic with the girls who have been "out-of-line-nasty." I should call them on their crap when they pull it. I don't do that enough. I'm not saying when they say "no," or "I don't think we'd be a good fit" or "I'm really busy." I mean when they make mean spirited personal attacks.

The no can be hard for some guys. I don't look forward to it, obviously, but I try to behave like a mature person would. I don't assume she's a "B" - It just didn't happen. I move on pretty quickly, unless she's somehow giving me strong signals she's changed her mind (which is unusual).

Barbaric · Answer

I think it's a stupid idea to try to pursue someone who is playing hard to get, who hasn't shown some interest and doesn't meet you halfway.

But the reason those guys do that is because there are women who do play hard to get, they seem to ask questions about this here daily, who have the mentality that if a guy really likes her he'll pursue when she does. That if he doesn't bother to, then he was never really that interested.

Guys hear that and the message they get is that they should be persistent even if she's showing a lack of interest. They're unable to tell the difference between her playing hard to get vs not interested, especially when the woman isn't clear.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a blow to their ego. I wish I had a penny every time I heard a guy say: "she must be a lesbian or already have a boyfriend" if she isn't interested in him. It's explained very well in the book: "Are Men the Weaker Sex". It's free to download from online booksellers and it's a very good read. I highly recommend it!

Phoenix98 · Answer

Well if she's not interested in dating or she's already with someone then common sense would dictate that she'd tell that to the person asking her out.

There is also the fact that men approach women far more then women approach men so they have to deal with rejection far more often then y'all do. You know if a guy approaches 10 women and 7 of them reject him, well you know his confidence is definitely going to take a hit. And if some of those women were being bitches about it then he ain't gonna be in the best mood.

How you reject someone also makes a big difference to.

These are things you have to take into account here. It's not as simple as either you can or you can't, there are others factors that play into it.

itssMeDee · Answer

I can't answer that for you, when I'm rejected, I say thank you for your time, have a nice day, and move on... now maybe you can answer something for me, why do some females make it seem like you're interested, showing all the right signs, spending all your time with him, and when the guy present himself, you reject him?

Jenom · Answer

I'm fine with rejection, as long as I'm not played beforehand and taken for a ride. Also, I hate rejection if it's soft and subtle. I don't mean be harsh, but just say you're not keen on me and I'm all good.

Anonymous · Answer

Because we force them into the initiator role. In order to be able to do that you have to maintain a kind of optimism. It’s not like women can be trusted to make anything happen, so obviously a if a guy isn’t putting himself out there and being persistent, then he’s going to die alone.

jshm2 · Answer

You mean "some men" and "some women"

You're also forgetting that some people are new to the game, and others are just on their last dice throws.

The world owes yo nothing, everyone needs to learn the lessons themselves.

Anonymous · Answer

This is an odd question coming from a woman, considering women are not the ones who have to put themselves at risk for rejection in dating.

The interesting thing is that extremely few women have the confidence and courage to make the first move when they are interested in a guy. The vast majority would rather sit back passively and hope the guy notices them and asks them out. And when they are asked why they are not more proactive in asking guys out, the overwhelming majority answer that it is because of fear of rejection. lol

Anonymous · Answer

Think about what it's like to not have the opposite sex throwing itself at you all the time. A lot of men legitimately fear being alone. Women don't pursue men like men pursue women. So when you find someone you like, and it doesn't pan out, it's difficult to take, because finding someone you like in the first place is already hard enough.

Me personally, I just gave up a long time ago. I'm happy with being single, if something ever happens for me, great. There's no reason to put yourself in painful situations and headspaces. Most people aren't worth it anyway.

kaylaS91 · Answer

Some men have a hard time handling rejection because they're insecure and/or had already gotten emotionally invested in the chick before taking the leap and asking her out.

No different than how most women would react in similar circumstances.

R4zor · Answer

I always take no or any kind of excuse as a no, now look where I am no relationship and dumped once although I look athletic and many women called me handsome, now look at all my same age males, no looks but their tongue seem to have worked, I honestly don't care anymore, I will rather be alone than to deal with all of these narcissistic attitudes I think they have fun disrespecting men because deep inside they feel unloved

senor_bacon · Answer

I think what you're really saying is "why haven't some of the men I heard of" or "why are all the men I'm meeting" taking rejection too hard.

I cold approach women and remain indifferent to the result. It's nice to just have a conversation, make friends, see what's out there.

winterfox10 · Answer

It's because guys know that every woman has a different way of dating, that's why. Your "no" is another woman's "try harder."

alexsa · Answer

Well last time I rejected a guy he tried to hit on my bestfriend so he could be around me. That's ridiculuos.

Missycloak · Answer

Probably because we don't communicate it well. Women tend to soften the blow, which makes men think they have a chance.

When women say, "I like guys with (xx features)" guys hear "if I get that feature, she will like me" when we say, "I don't feel anything for you. It's not you", men hear "I will get her eventually if I keep doing romantic gestures"

We need to be more blunt and maybe a bit mean when we reject men.

godfatherfan · Answer

Why don't the vast majority of women not even try and make the first move? When you are young, it takes a lot of guts to just walk up to a woman and ask her out. Women don't seem to have those guts. So I don't think women should be criticizing how a man acts until they are equally taking those same risks.

Ripper_E · Answer

Why can't women handle rejection?
If a guy is persistent, he's in the minority. Most men want you to be straight up with them so if you tell them straight up that you have no interest in them then they will move on. Find yourself better men.

jabberwocky00 · Answer

I found being super blunt about it helps a lot. I don’t try to be easy with rejection anymore because they keep trying if I do. Straight up not interested and ignoring them completely after that.

DressedtoKill · Answer

Because approaching as a guy takes balls knowing 9/10 times you'll be rejected if you are a regular guy and haven't learnt how to attract women through years of practice. Most guys will only have the guts to approach a few girls per year so there's a heck of a lot riding on that approach.

Yads_Is_Back · Answer

Some men are confident and don’t have this problem. But that’s part of what makes them not get rejected so much. Some are conceited and need the rejection. He just can’t handle that fragile ego.

Anonymous · Answer

I have no idea, the amount of times men have been so persistent towards me, I couldn’t count on my hands and feet combined.

Browneye57 · Answer

Because women are not clear about their position. Their word tracks simply reflect their feelings at that time, subject to change an any given moment.
No, you really can't believe anything a woman says, they're just as likely to contradict themselves in the next moment, and often do.

And please, don't broadbrush. It just makes you look silly and illinformed.

Unit1 · Answer

Some women' can't either. They say "oh you must be gay" or "oh you like to suck dick".

However the numbers of the blues not being able to handle rejection is higher from what I saw.
Guess they're not boyfriend material or that they are narcissists and are best left single.

Anonymous · Answer

I think (if true), because a lot of women do play hard to get, how do we know the difference? She's not going to say "I'm just playing hard to get, keep pursuing me"

But the fact is, nobody likes or handles rejection well. Neither do women! They don't handle it so well that they don't even ask guys out because of the fear of it!

Anonymous · Answer

Hollywood taught them many lies when they were teenagers and now they refuse to grow up.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they're too entitled and think that they OWN that girl who they proposed.
When she rejects, they feel 'less masculine' so they degrade her personality by calling her egoistic or slutty.
I have this ugly guy friend who was constantly behind me but he is such a hypocrite he will insult other ugly guys or girls.
Such an entitled asshole he is. He himself is ugly but expects to be with a gorgeous girl.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Men handle rejection. You must still be messing around with boys.

SphynxUK · Answer

Their pride is hurt. They just need to accept the situation and move on.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Because women do play hard to get. How is he suppose to know? One woman is playing hard to get and one isn't, doesn't mean he is going to automatically know which one is playing and which one isn't.

venomhbk1313 · Answer

Some people can't take no for an answer no matter how many times a woman says no

Wolkmi · Answer

Because its not fair than men need to be the ones approaching, is not fair than women have on average suitors and matches in tinder, men approaching, but men on average have zero female attention and need to be the ones who approach... im not going to say its OK, but the women's answers in this post are disgusting, i wonder if the chicks here where males and be the ones who need to do the approach

memer2020 · Answer

Society teaches us that being rejected by a woman is a fate worse than death , if a woman is rejects you , your not worth as a man

basically toxic masculinity in a nutshell

also society tells women to play hard to get and not give a direct answer

i saw a question in different sites where a woman asked why can't men understand no means try harder ( i'm not joking )

djmzes · Answer

Simple

themythos · Answer

Some women play the "hard to get" or "try harder" game. So guys assume they have to do better. I always tell my friends to just find a better girl since there are so many

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

Men can handle rejection its the boys that have a problem with it. If you know what I mean

gotc147 · Answer

Men fall in love faster and harder than women, it also takes them longer to get over it and move on. Men are far more emotional than women give them credit for.

PotasticPooh · Answer

Nobody likes rejection, and we live in a world where the chase has been encouraged - whether playing hard to get, or shit testing.

The flip side of your question words too. Why can’t women handle rejection? If you say no, they try to push themselves on you anyway, call you gay, as if you’re impotent, and eventually have their posse call you an asshole for rejecting her.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Depends on the case, but how someone responds to getting rejected all depends on his mindset and her behavior, since there are a lot of people that do play games.

DonCachondo · Answer

Uhhhhhhhhh which sex has to put itself out there and risk rejection like 90%+ of the time again?

jabbahut · Answer

Girls are probably the same in situations like these, it’s easily done. Rejection will never be easy to deal with.

Elijahblue · Answer

Well I have 5 sisters and what I have learned is that the approach of a man is what a woman looks at. And if you are tacky with your approach you have to handle the response from the lady. Most real men know that. The want to be men don't know that.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

If they don't realize that they were rejected then how can you make that statement?

To judge a person on how they handle rejection it has to be clear that they were rejected and then observe how they react

Torari · Answer

How about you go try approach total strangers in hopes they might end up interest in you and tell me how being rejected 7 times out of 10 makes you feel.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Which men? I just move on if she is not interested.

destrosio · Answer

You should try it with women, they can't handle rejection they don't even try.

IAMNathanael · Answer

My best guess is it could be the ones that don't take it well feel they're entitled somehow.

Sonorous · Answer

Because so many men base their self-worth on their dating/sex life.

Juxtapose · Answer

Maybe if women were *direct* we wouldn't have to guess :/

Thatsamazing · Answer

Uh... we don't assume that she's playing hard to get. We just get frustrated. It's not complicated, really.

Why can’t men handle rejection?

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