Does playing hard to get really raise your value?

Question

Or does it just say there are plenty of other fishes in sea.

scholastic_vibez · Accepted Answer

Playing hard to get has become some individuals second religion. The trouble is that if you don’t play hard to get, you’re not enough of the challenge. What’s most infuriating is when you play hard to get because that’s what the rules of the game expects of you, and then the other person doesn’t have the patience to play a long game as long as you do. Even if you don’t get the other person, at least you can sleep at night knowing you never were never a pushover, and you never deviated from the rules of the game. Sometimes winning the game is more important than the relationship.

JPrez · Accepted Answer

I think it does. If the pursuit is easy, then the one pursuing often gets the belief they can control the relationship. If the pursuit is drawn out the one pursuing has to put in more effort and the pursuee now has the knowledge that the pursuer values them enough to keep trying. That can be a reminder in the relationship later on to both of them as to who might have more control.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Hardly. If anything it usually makes others see you as worthless, or they rather pursue someone that does show interest in them, at least for the majority of us- not all of us are lucky enough to have people constantly pursuing us.

I don't know about y'all, but if a guy I like is interested in me, I'm going to let him know the feeling is mutual!!!
I'm not risking him running off or losing interest in me just to test him or "raise my value"- that's stupid and immature.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

No, it is a childish game that high schoolers play, which doesn't even work out for them. Nobody finds it attractive when someone acts as if they're uninterested in them or can't even hardly acknowledge their existence.

In most cases where someone plays hard to get, the other person just assumes they're not interested and moves on, and rightfully so.

Nawlins34 · Answer

It depends on why you're deploying the strategy.

Playing "hard to get" is good for money, but a horrible strategy for love in my opinion.

It attracts the following:

1.) Guys who are trying for a woman out of their league - Doesn't matter his age, this guy knows this is the BEST woman he will get in his lifetime and he has to pull out all the stops.

2.) Guys who can get any woman he wants but is currently bored. - This will be a false-positive to the woman who deploys this. She will get his attention, but not because she's special, because she is a challenge. Once he has conquered this challenge ( even in the midst of a relationship/marriage/kids) guess what? He becomes bored again… He can still get any woman that he wants and will do so.

3.) Hunters - Like guy #2, this guy is attracted by the challenge, not the woman. He has no intention of settling down with her, he's doing whatever he has to do (or say) to have sex, just to prove to himself he can actually do it. Unlike guy#2, he's not taking it all the way to marriage and kids, no sex is worth that to him.

4.) Tire-kickers - They already know they are going to get rejected, but they want practice handling rejection and… tag you're it! On the off chance you actually don't reject him? He turns into guy #1

And so while you're dealing with the above-mentioned fuckery? The guys you COULD be talking to are entertaining the women who didn't play hard-to-get.

On_cloud_wine · Answer

No, it’s like lingerie.. leaves mystery of what’s underneath. Once he unsnaps/unfastens/unbuttons/unzips it, and realizes your 36 C is actually a 36 A.. well, I hope you get the point.. he doesn’t know how valuable you are just by playing hard to
get. It gives him that idea though.. he just has to play smart.

mamasan · Answer

There is a big difference between playing hard to get and actually being hard to get. Being hard to get means you have standards, you know what you like and what's important to you, and you're not willing to settle for someone who doesn't treat you right or doesn't match up with your relationship goals. Playing hard to get is just a game where you pretend to be less interested than you are.

Playing hard to get doesn't increase your value. Being hard to get does.

SexyAshh · Answer

I play hard to get but am also hard to get in general.

Im wishy washy. Some days i want you other days im not sure.

It takes a while for me to decide if you're worth keeping around.

I've never had issues with this either, they just keep chasing me till i make my mind up

scarlett774 · Answer

Maybe? I don’t intentions play hard to get I just think I am somewhat hard to get in certain factors. And all the guys I’ve met have a perspective of “playing hard to get” is fun and they like game and the chase. Sometimes playing hard to get can be fun if both of you are aware.

JackSmy · Answer

Not for me!! If she starts playing 'games', I just walk away! I don't have time for bullshit, and people that don't know what they feel, or think they can manipulate me!

CriticalDiscourse · Answer

No. There is no "mind game" that actually gives you any monetary "value" as a person. Your value as a person is based totally on your own individual moral definition.

KeziL · Answer

I think you wouldn't play hard to get with anyone you really cared about and wanted to be with. Hard to get means easy to lose your chance. Playing games never does anyone any good.

Synikal · Answer

If this logic was true... Every man/woman would apply themselves to such a fantasy. Value is you as a whole and all you are truly capable of. Not telling anyone not to have any standards. Go for who you want but if you are just being difficult for the sake of being difficult... At this point in time, I would have to assume that you would be this difficult all the time. Could go off on a whole tangent on why thos state of mind is insufficient towards your goals as to once you are actually with someone.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

Girls never played 'hard to get' with me, hence my experience is limited in this topic.
Nevertheless I think someone who craves for increase of own value by manipulative games, has very likely insecurity in topic of self-valuation.

Sthgjstlikethis · Answer

Yes. Humans are too smart to do something which is actually ineffective. You can see it in relationships and you can see it with collectibles and rare items. Assuming your subject doesn't know what you're doing your behaviour would seem similar to that of someone who is 'worth chasing'. Interestingly if you play the game you've already lost. Also depends on experience and replacability. We tend to measure (and value) short term circumstances far more than long term benifits.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

Females are naturally a pain in the ass anyway with this unless they already have a huge crush on the guy.

Yes it’s human nature to want something you can’t have. But don’t overdo it the point of being rude. Smart guys will move on fast from this crap if it’s overdone.

Craftsman · Answer

While having values and being careful and selective at least in part increase value, it is wise to remember that the population is pretty full of others who may be just as desirable but a little more open to communication.
I value people who are choosy up to a point, though when it goes beyond the basic carefulness and passes into the "Meet my challenge or get lost" range, I tend to stray toward those with whom it is easier to communicate and relate.

Gisellesupreme · Answer

It raises your value tremendously. People get it confused with “acting” out or getting a reaction, but what I’ talking about is acting hard to get to show the other person you have some standards and want them to show up correctly.

It’s funny, because it does the trick even in platonic relationships and with strangers. Recently I went to get food from a food stand. On that day, I was in a good mood and cheerful rather than my usual self, which appears “touch” and “bitchy”. The woman didn’t give me the royal treatment I usually get when I am more “tough”. Then, a few days later I went back there, but was noticeably “tougher” and harder to please. She asked me hundreds of things about my day and would NOT stop trying to talk to me. She even offered me some food to “try” because she wanted to make sure I liked it. So yes, it’s the magic solution to a happy life.

cinnamoncat · Answer

playing hard to get is nice.. but playing too hard to get is where it gets off-putting and tedious. also it comes down to the individual. some people like hard to get, some people just like straightforward people. thats my opinion anyways uwu

AnimaLover_17 · Answer

I think it is a form of ignorance, and if anything, reduces the person's value. But ya other then that, the person is probably trying to get the message across that he or she isn't the only fish in the sea.

slatyb · Answer

Play games if you want to be with game-players. Confident people speak honestly about their feelings and won’t waste time trying to read someone’s mind. If someone turns them down they accept that as truth and move on.

Tonita91996 · Answer

Yeah that is only sabotaging yourself from missing out on someone that actually wants you. I had done it myself I even tried ghosting a guy and then come back but no he wasn't willing to come back because I had the wrong theory in my mind that you must be a jerk to keep someone. Just have to learn how to start ignoring the people who devalue you.

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

I think it shows a lack of maturity and is more likely to turn people off rather than "raise your value." Most people don't like playing games when it comes to dating.

godfatherfan · Answer

Any women that plays hard to get isn't worth chasing. If she has time for games, that means she isn't serious about any relationship. So I would just move on to the next one.

MindYourEyes · Answer

I’m sure the dude would just want to move on and want someone that actually shows interest.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

If a woman is playing hard to get, my interpretation would probably be that she is not interested and I would move on.

SCRUMPSHUDILLIOCIOUS · Answer

Doesn't raise one's value nor does it lower it. Self value should never depend upon someone else's. However, being cautious works in one's benefit.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

Playin hard to get is like playing tug o war. Some people will hang on... I just let go of the rope. I just say "you win" while you fall on your ass.

R3DthatDude · Answer

Playing games is bad, its frustrating and confusing. They might think your not interested and quit chasing you way early then you expect

RasmusAiken · Answer

I don't stay friends with anyone who plays/pretends.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

BEING hard to get raises your value. PLAYING hard to get decreases your value.

Dargil · Answer

I don't have the time. If you are interested, accept my advance. If not, have a nice day.

es20490446e · Answer

NO! What raises your value is showing your interest clearly, but in an appropriate amount. Not being hard, but also not being cheesy.

douride2 · Answer

In my past experiences it has never helped playing hard to get.

Kaneki05 · Answer

When some plays hard to get they just come across as bitchy. Which is a turn off so nah.

backdoorman · Answer

If a woman plays hard to get it appears she does not return my interest, and I'm not going to waste my time in that case. And if I get the feeling she's playing hard to get, it's an instant turn off.

Juxtapose · Answer

It's just going to make me  next  you because I don't have time to suffer idiocy. Mature applicants only. No games, no bullshit.

Jack9949 · Answer

It lowers your value because you’re wasting other peoples time by not taking things seriously enough. Dating shouldn’t be a game.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

No. If someone knocks your door or calls at your house several times, and gets no answer, after a while you get the message and leave, hardly likely to return.

Kru2020 · Answer

Makes you seem uninterested and we will lose interest if there is no interest reciprocated. Guys like effort too.

Unit1 · Answer

Play hard to get on me and you'll have a hard time convincing me that you didn't mean it. I have nexted the player by that time.

Torari · Answer

Playing hard to get absolutely does increase your value, but only once someone is already interested in you.

You can use it to increase interest, but you can't create interest where there is none with it.

Paul09 · Answer

It is like what are you 6 years old? You are an adult, why play games, and possibly confuse the person. Be straight forward on what you want. I guess 2% of men love that

dr9caris · Answer

there's a difference between having self worth and playing hard to get.

DudeDiligence · Answer

There are few things that turn me off as much as a woman who plays silly head games like that.

Browneye57 · Answer

No, it doesn't. The guy just thinks you're disinterested. Dumb... REALLY dumb.

FriendlyEnigma · Answer

Honestly not all all for me, if someone "plays hard to get", all i see is them being uninterested lol

allaboutyou2 · Answer

Playing hard to get may raise your appeal but truly does not ones value, ones true value is measured by character, integrity and ethics.

nerobyrne · Answer

If you tell me you're not interested, I move on. Not only do I want an honest person in my life who doesn't play games (at least those kind of games), but persisting after rejection can't actually be sexual harassment. That's a crime you know.

Guanfei · Answer

No. If you play hard to get, I'll consider you're not interested and I'll move on.

DamnSam · Answer

Someday people will realize, playing is for kids and I just do not have the time to play kid...

666dangerouswoman · Answer

I don't play hard to get. I'm just, naturally hard to get. I wouldn't say that hard, but I get annoyed if a lot of men are hitting on me, unless I'm actually interested.

MM442 · Answer

The girls that played hard to get got me nowhere, they were usually mean & angry not worth my time. Been there done that waist of time.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I'm not trying to play hard to get, I'm trying to be someone worth getting.

Avicenna · Answer

If The office is also defined as the university I attended, plenty of times.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Fuck no. We start losing interests very quickly!! ✌️ Peace

ranger3456 · Answer

I won't waste my time on a cunt that plays games. Either be honest with me or fuck off

Smegskull · Answer

I doesn't just say there are plenty of fish in the sea. There is fidh substitute now so if the getting is too hard we don't even need to keep fishing to get it anymore.

jizzyjay · Answer

Its just sales and marketing. Some people fall for marketing tricks and some people don't.

007kingifrit · Answer

it never worked, but it ABSOLUTELY doens't work nowadays when i can match with 3 women a day on tinder

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I do not chase women who play "hard to get", it is insulting.

Meatunnel69 · Answer

It only works if someone is already interested in you.

Does playing hard to get really raise your value?

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