Does playing hard to get really raise your value?

[anon1903]

Or does it just say there are plenty of other fishes in sea.

Raise value

Plenty of fishes

Updates

+1 y

And they say dating is a game, well maybe not so much. or it might be the fact gag users are way too mature for this shit. compromises with the accuracy, aye?

[scholastic_vibez]

Playing hard to get has become some individuals second religion. The trouble is that if you don’t play hard to get, you’re not enough of the challenge. What’s most infuriating is when you play hard to get because that’s what the rules of the game expects of you, and then the other person doesn’t have the patience to play a long game as long as you do. Even if you don’t get the other person, at least you can sleep at night knowing you never were never a pushover, and you never deviated from the rules of the game. Sometimes winning the game is more important than the relationship.

[bluetoblack99]

Good observation.

[JPrez]

I think it does. If the pursuit is easy, then the one pursuing often gets the belief they can control the relationship. If the pursuit is drawn out the one pursuing has to put in more effort and the pursuee now has the knowledge that the pursuer values them enough to keep trying. That can be a reminder in the relationship later on to both of them as to who might have more control.

[VIVANT]

What difference does a belief make.

A person can be engaging and open and have a back bone stand up for themselves not take shit and not be malleable.

If someone assumes their straightforward demeanor means they are easy to control, It will only mean they will be surprised. it has nothing to do with reality.

[Juxtapose]

@VIVANT If anything I find straight forward people to have a stronger sense of self! I agree with you.

[JPrez]

Belief = trust, faith or confidence in someone or something. Belief drives much of what we do or say. Thus my answer which explains what someone may do or act based on said belief.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Hardly. If anything it usually makes others see you as worthless, or they rather pursue someone that does show interest in them, at least for the majority of us- not all of us are lucky enough to have people constantly pursuing us.

I don't know about y'all, but if a guy I like is interested in me, I'm going to let him know the feeling is mutual!!!
I'm not risking him running off or losing interest in me just to test him or "raise my value"- that's stupid and immature.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

No, it is a childish game that high schoolers play, which doesn't even work out for them. Nobody finds it attractive when someone acts as if they're uninterested in them or can't even hardly acknowledge their existence.

In most cases where someone plays hard to get, the other person just assumes they're not interested and moves on, and rightfully so.

[Nawlins34]

It depends on why you're deploying the strategy.

Playing "hard to get" is good for money, but a horrible strategy for love in my opinion.

It attracts the following:

1.) Guys who are trying for a woman out of their league - Doesn't matter his age, this guy knows this is the BEST woman he will get in his lifetime and he has to pull out all the stops.

2.) Guys who can get any woman he wants but is currently bored. - This will be a false-positive to the woman who deploys this. She will get his attention, but not because she's special, because she is a challenge. Once he has conquered this challenge ( even in the midst of a relationship/marriage/kids) guess what? He becomes bored again… He can still get any woman that he wants and will do so.

3.) Hunters - Like guy #2, this guy is attracted by the challenge, not the woman. He has no intention of settling down with her, he's doing whatever he has to do (or say) to have sex, just to prove to himself he can actually do it. Unlike guy#2, he's not taking it all the way to marriage and kids, no sex is worth that to him.

4.) Tire-kickers - They already know they are going to get rejected, but they want practice handling rejection and… tag you're it! On the off chance you actually don't reject him? He turns into guy #1

And so while you're dealing with the above-mentioned fuckery? The guys you COULD be talking to are entertaining the women who didn't play hard-to-get.

[On_cloud_wine]

No, it’s like lingerie.. leaves mystery of what’s underneath. Once he unsnaps/unfastens/unbuttons/unzips it, and realizes your 36 C is actually a 36 A.. well, I hope you get the point.. he doesn’t know how valuable you are just by playing hard to
get. It gives him that idea though.. he just has to play smart.

[mamasan]

There is a big difference between playing hard to get and actually being hard to get. Being hard to get means you have standards, you know what you like and what's important to you, and you're not willing to settle for someone who doesn't treat you right or doesn't match up with your relationship goals. Playing hard to get is just a game where you pretend to be less interested than you are.

Playing hard to get doesn't increase your value. Being hard to get does.

[SexyAshh]

I play hard to get but am also hard to get in general.


Im wishy washy. Some days i want you other days im not sure.


It takes a while for me to decide if you're worth keeping around.


I've never had issues with this either, they just keep chasing me till i make my mind up

[scarlett774]

Maybe? I don’t intentions play hard to get I just think I am somewhat hard to get in certain factors. And all the guys I’ve met have a perspective of “playing hard to get” is fun and they like game and the chase. Sometimes playing hard to get can be fun if both of you are aware.

[VIVANT]

It’s fun bc Its a game and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that that’s all you want.

But it’s a bad sign for serious relationship and for those who want that, it’s best to avoid game players.

[scarlett774]

Tbh I’ve never really cared about serous relationships bc I’m so young but im starting to take them serious more now

[JackSmy]

Not for me!! If she starts playing 'games', I just walk away! I don't have time for bullshit, and people that don't know what they feel, or think they can manipulate me!

[CriticalDiscourse]

No. There is no "mind game" that actually gives you any monetary "value" as a person. Your value as a person is based totally on your own individual moral definition.

[KeziL]

I think you wouldn't play hard to get with anyone you really cared about and wanted to be with. Hard to get means easy to lose your chance. Playing games never does anyone any good.

[Synikal]

If this logic was true... Every man/woman would apply themselves to such a fantasy. Value is you as a whole and all you are truly capable of. Not telling anyone not to have any standards. Go for who you want but if you are just being difficult for the sake of being difficult... At this point in time, I would have to assume that you would be this difficult all the time. Could go off on a whole tangent on why thos state of mind is insufficient towards your goals as to once you are actually with someone.

[Sthgjstlikethis]

Yes. Humans are too smart to do something which is actually ineffective. You can see it in relationships and you can see it with collectibles and rare items. Assuming your subject doesn't know what you're doing your behaviour would seem similar to that of someone who is 'worth chasing'. Interestingly if you play the game you've already lost. Also depends on experience and replacability. We tend to measure (and value) short term circumstances far more than long term benifits.

[bluetoblack99]

Females are naturally a pain in the ass anyway with this unless they already have a huge crush on the guy.

Yes it’s human nature to want something you can’t have. But don’t overdo it the point of being rude. Smart guys will move on fast from this crap if it’s overdone.

[On_cloud_wine]

See.. if I have a crush on you in particular (yes, You), because you think like this, I will play hard to get. Because if you chase me and I know you only want me more because for some strange reason, I seem more desirable because you don’t have me, what will happen once you do have me? The attraction and desire for that person stops.. that’s why I like to take my time, so technically I’m not playing hard to get.

[On_cloud_wine]

Call it a shit test, but ya’ll lose interest fast after that and start flirting with girl option #2 right in front of us to get a reaction, we’ll, the only reaction you’re going to get with me is bye.

[On_cloud_wine]

We see your morals, we’re observing you.. I stay away from guys like you

[bluetoblack99]

@On_cloud_wine don’t overdo it. Way too many women go way too far with this. There is a reason it’s called a “shit test”. It hurts everybody in the end.

[On_cloud_wine]

Not when we’re trying to find out what kind of life you live. If I make you feel comfortable enough to tell me your past, don’t think I’m not judging you. I will soon enough tell you I’m sorry, I lost interest but I wouldn’t tell you why.. I’m not “slut shaming” .. I just can’t be with someone who has sex with a new chick every wk. I don’t know why it’s relevant that you keep saying you were a good guy at one point in your life until after certain girls hurt you. That’s no excuse to your present life now and how you search for happiness

[bluetoblack99]

@On_cloud_wine guys who bang a different girl every week will never tell you about it. They will find ways to charm you and to act mysterious. They know women like challenge but they know when to give attention. Very good at the push and pull.

[On_cloud_wine]

Some girls go undercover. The truth is out there

[bluetoblack99]

@On_cloud_wine I’m not one of those guys and ever have been because I have a conscious. But I’ve known a few of these guys and I’m familiar how they operate.

But really if you have to go “undercover” than you are still chasing. You aren’t dumping when you are chasing.

Boredom is the number one reason woman pass up and lose interest in men. Not suspicion. Not that suspicion is good but you are emotionally engaged in him if you have to research him. Either way you are interested in him.

[On_cloud_wine]

“Never been one of those guys”? What do you mean? That you don’t play games and lie to get into a girls pants? I understand your honest with them and tell them what you want, but you’re still in that category of filling around. I don’t know why all guys aren’t honest because there are lots of girls who won’t make you wait and are searching for the same thing—just sex.

[On_cloud_wine]

*fulling around

[On_cloud_wine]

And when you take your time getting to know someone, enough to figure out if you really like the guy and not just listing over him, and the feeling’s reciprocated, I naturally investigate. I can’t help it when I’m falling hard for you

[On_cloud_wine]

Lusting* not listing

[VIVANT]

@On_cloud_wine

Excellent point, I always make lol

If playing hard to get is necessary to maintain interest, there will never be a real relationship. Just a series of one upmanship —until it breaks.

[On_cloud_wine]

Which sucks when I found out about you after I fell I love. That’s why i ghosted that guy. There, now you know

[On_cloud_wine]

He wouldn’t accept it

[On_cloud_wine]

Which sucks when I find out about you after I fell in love*

[On_cloud_wine]

I used to give guys like you a chance because I figured if they’re honest in the beginning, that’s a good sign and all he needs is the right girl. This guy lied

[On_cloud_wine]

Thanks @VIVANT

[bluetoblack99]

@On_cloud_wine just one guy did this? Try being the good guy, taking the time to get to know her, then watching her fall fast for some asshole then she has the gall to fucking complain about him to you. Worse way to get friendzoned.

This has happened not once but five times in my life. I’ll never let it happen again. Ever.

[Craftsman]

While having values and being careful and selective at least in part increase value, it is wise to remember that the population is pretty full of others who may be just as desirable but a little more open to communication.
I value people who are choosy up to a point, though when it goes beyond the basic carefulness and passes into the "Meet my challenge or get lost" range, I tend to stray toward those with whom it is easier to communicate and relate.

[Gisellesupreme]

It raises your value tremendously. People get it confused with “acting” out or getting a reaction, but what I’ talking about is acting hard to get to show the other person you have some standards and want them to show up correctly.

It’s funny, because it does the trick even in platonic relationships and with strangers. Recently I went to get food from a food stand. On that day, I was in a good mood and cheerful rather than my usual self, which appears “touch” and “bitchy”. The woman didn’t give me the royal treatment I usually get when I am more “tough”. Then, a few days later I went back there, but was noticeably “tougher” and harder to please. She asked me hundreds of things about my day and would NOT stop trying to talk to me. She even offered me some food to “try” because she wanted to make sure I liked it. So yes, it’s the magic solution to a happy life.

[Gisellesupreme]

Of* I’m*

[cinnamoncat]

playing hard to get is nice.. but playing too hard to get is where it gets off-putting and tedious. also it comes down to the individual. some people like hard to get, some people just like straightforward people. thats my opinion anyways uwu

[EssenceOfLight]

Girls never played 'hard to get' with me, hence my experience is limited in this topic.
Nevertheless I think someone who craves for increase of own value by manipulative games, has very likely insecurity in topic of self-valuation.

[slatyb]

Play games if you want to be with game-players. Confident people speak honestly about their feelings and won’t waste time trying to read someone’s mind. If someone turns them down they accept that as truth and move on.

[AnimaLover_17]

I think it is a form of ignorance, and if anything, reduces the person's value. But ya other then that, the person is probably trying to get the message across that he or she isn't the only fish in the sea.

[Tonita91996]

Yeah that is only sabotaging yourself from missing out on someone that actually wants you. I had done it myself I even tried ghosting a guy and then come back but no he wasn't willing to come back because I had the wrong theory in my mind that you must be a jerk to keep someone. Just have to learn how to start ignoring the people who devalue you.