She has a boyfriend but she is sending signals like crazy!!!

[josh977]

This girl I work with and I have had a close friends relationship for about 5 or 6 years. We've always flirted so much that I'm not sure if she's playing around anymore or if she's serious. She's kind of a tomboy so we talk about the most nasty stuff sometimes and laugh at it. Lately she has been complimenting me a lot on how good my butt looks and what not cause I recently lost a lot of weight. I compliment her all the time and she used to brush it off cause she used to dress like a guy, now that she is getting into girly things she turns beat red and nervous . I've been wanting to make a move since I met her but didn't want to ruin a good friendship. But now I'm ready to just go for it but she's got a boyfriend. He's 10 years older than her has no job and treats her like crap and there has been many days where she Comes to me crying cause her boyfriend treats her like crap.

[omgwhatdoIdo]

...After a few sentences in this answer I already don't like this girl at all. just to let you know.

oh never mind I read the rest of it, she seems OK :)

Well anyways, she definitely likes you. She likes that you give her compliments, you make her feel good, she likes the attention you give her and have been giving her for so long. She changed her appearance maybe because she really wants a guy now, maybe even to get your attention.

Girls will look their best to get your attention, when she was looking her best and got your attention she got nervous because what's going through her mind is "omg he noticed! He really thinks I'm attractive now" She got what she wanted from making an effort in her appearance, that attention and compliment from you. She got nervous because it was probably for you to notice and she likes you. When she comes crying to you, that's your cue to be the caring guy that she wants as her boyfriend. She comes to you because you make her feel better. You can always slip in the "I like you more than a friend" not so obviously.

you could be like "you shouldn't be with a guy that treats you this way...you deserve better. I'm tired of seeing this guy hurt you and I'd never want to hurt you and I would definitely treat you a whole lot better." That sort of sends the message you like her, but might be too subtle. Truth is, you gotta tell her soon. Just go for it, don't be afraid of rejection or losing friendship. Sure it may be awkward after that but you two have been flirting for so long that I don't think it would be awkward to be in a relationship with her.

Why prevent something good from happening and NEVER know what would have happened all because you don't want to lose her friendship? Something really good could come of you telling her you like her because I'm pretty sure she likes you too, but was confused because she didn't know if you liked her. So when she got that compliment that made her nervous it meant a lot because she probably has feelings for you. You don't want to live with regret of not knowing what would've happened...I went a year with it, not telling someone I liked them and each day I thought of that person I told the person, we dated, he broke my heart in the end. But it's better to live life knowing what would've happened and that it wasn't meant to be then live it without knowing what ever would have come of it. I'm still hurt and it's been months, but everything is a learning experience. I learned a lot from that and even though I still feel the pain from it, it's worth it since the knowledge I got from it will last a lifetime, while the hurt will last a few months to a year at the most.

Just go for it!

[omgwhatdoIdo]

I think PhatPat has a point in the last sentence. Maybe you should "Just go for it!" AFTER the relationship ends. It's not going to last long by the looks of it, so don't lose hope.

[Anonymous]

Ask her flat out: "Why are you still your boyfriend if he mistreats you?" If she says, "I love him" confidently, then you must back down. If she lingers... "well... I mean, we've been together for so long" then you know to make your move! Treat her the way her boyfriend SHOULD be treating her & she will (hopefully) make the decision to advance the relationship. Also, don't sleep with her when she is with her boyfriend, even if he is treating her poorly. It will show tremendous strength if you wait until she is "free."

[PhatPat]

If her "joking" around has changed, it sounds like she's definitely is into. However, she's in a relationship and honey, you just don't want that drama. Regardless of how crappy a boyfriend he is to her (and I TOTALLY get how infuriating that is!), she chooses to be in this relationship with him. If she chooses to get out of it, that's GREAT, but you don't want to be the reason she leaves because that will put strain on your relationship down the road.

[omgwhatdoIdo]

Hmm good point in the last sentence. But do you think he should at least tell her he likes her? It's clear she's not happy with her boyfriend...and it seems she's liked him all along. Hm :/

[giovanni420]

A relationship based on the foundation that she was previously with another guy while you guys started doing it... Not a good start. Wait.

[BerryCherry]

She's either really flirty or she likes you. If she does like you, before you go for it, remember if she is like this with you, she will be like this with others guys. You might not be okay with that, so you might want to stop flirting with her to give her the signal that your not interested.