So, I asked a girl out and she said she was busy. Is it okay to ask again?

Question

Thanks in advance for answering :D

When I asked the girl I like, "Hey ___, do you wanna see a movie with me sometime?", she smiled and said, "Well, I'm really busy right now." Obviously she isn't actually busy, cause it's winter break right now... but I'm not sure if she said that because she doesn't like me, or because she knew she wouldn't be allowed to go out with me (she's Catholic, and I'm Muslim, so her dad might not want her to go out with me). Would it be bad of me if I went up to her again (maybe next week) and asked her if she wants to go out with me? By the way, it is winter break, but we still see each other because we train together in a sport. We don't actually go to the same school.

This question's description/updates show why I thought she liked me:

link

ArtistBboy · Accepted Answer

You failed her resistant "bitch shield" (also known as a test). Women like it when men put in more effort to get to the goal; this is because of the bullsh*t societal belief that you appreciate what you have difficulty in obtaining. Basically, they want a guy who shows patience and is a "true man" to fight for what he wants. This validates the woman to know that she has found a man that won't just "give up" after a period of time.

In the future:

- When a woman resists you like this, try a second time (to see if you can crack her on spot).. An example for this situation would be: "Well, the next time I'll be free is this weekend, could you meet up then?".. After trying two times you want to leave the ball in her court; YOU SHOULD NOT keep trying (if you keep trying, it works against your favor) -> So to leave the ball in her court an example would be: "Tell you what, when your free give me a buzz and we'll meet up" -> This will show her that you don't play the chasing game forever, and it's also good to show manors/respect for the woman (and not to bug her continuously/needy/desperately)

In the present:

- This girl knows you are interested and is probably slowly edging away from you day by day waiting for you to make a move at the right time. Problem is that you and I don't know what the "right time" is going to be -> So you pick the best time for you and preferably within 3 days from when you asked her on a date. If she doesn't respond or makes an excuse again -> Just walk away. The reason behind me saying "walk away" is because if you keep trying and she keeps making excuses then where is this going? You'll be getting more attached and she'll get more turned off with a VERY slim chance of genuinely liking you/respecting you for the future.

Hope the info helps, I was cut short on time (roomate is strangling me because I won't play kinect with her)

~ ArtistBBoy

Gregs · Accepted Answer

When a girl want's to see you but is genuinely busy she will let you know when she is free, or she will give you a specific time and not make it vague, she will say something like "I'm going to be busy for 2 weeks because of exams"

If she just gives a vague answer like what she said then she is probably not interested but leaving it vague, women like to leave things vague partly to avoid contact and partly to amass a string of supplicating guys they can or they think they can get at a whim. In situations like this I recommend you completely disconnect with her emotionally and just move on or if you feel like it call her on her bullsh*t, say something like "I hear you saying that you are busy, what I'm not hearing is a genuine interest in wanting to get to know each other, you seem like a mature girl that can tell me if getting together is something you don't really want to do, and I'm mature enough to know the truth"

Sometimes this ballsy move is enough to swing the scales in your favor if she was on the fence about you before,at very least it puts her on the spot and saves you a mind f*** if she says the truth, that she is not interested in you

rachiee · Accepted Answer

Give it some time. Talk to her out of practice, like get her number and text her or add her on facebook and talk to her there. Build up a stronger friendship where you both get to know each other and then ease into asking her out on a date again. Even from your other post, I'm not 100% sure that she really does like you. I think you need to talk to her more and get a better idea of how she feels and then ask her back out. A lot of people are busy during winter break. Everyone is home from college as well as family is in town so I'm sure her reason was probably legit.

toulouse · Accepted Answer

"Obviously she isn't actually busy, cause it's winter break right now... "

NO. Its not obvious. People can be busy at any point, for any reason. Furthermore, if you think she said no because she's uncomfortable, then you're cruel & or idiotic for pushing it,

TheCheshireCat · Accepted Answer

Sounds like she was trying to politely say no to you, I'd leave it at that.  If she likes you, the ball is in her court & she can ask you out.

Surfinforlife · Answer

I'm pretty sure she's not into you man. Don't worry about though. There are so many other girls out there in the world.

Honestly if she had any interest in you at all she would have said something like this. "Well I'm busy then, but how about Saturday night?" The point here is this, if she had any interest in you she would have made an attempt to let you know she's not busy on another day so you can ask her to go out that day. But the fact that she said "i'm busy" without rescheduling just goes to show you her interest in you...none. Hate to tell you that man. But you know what? She's just ANOTHER GIRL. There are plenty of other girls out there who would love to be with you man. Don't contact that girl anymore, go after someone else who seems interested in you as well.

Anonymous · Answer

Do not ask her out again. If she was serious about wanting to go on a date with you, she would've thrown you a bone and added something like - maybe on Monday, etc. The fact that you said sometime basically made your schedule wide open so she just plain old rejected you.

I don't need the back story. She's not interested so back off.

ItalianBro · Answer

I would take it as a no. Girls think they are being nice when saying stuff like this. It causes confusion with the guy and a simple No or yes would of worked better. However, girls are a pain in the ass and can't understand this.

I would act friendly, say Hi, she probably will sooner or later develop feelings for you. You have to see this girl a lot so try not to make things awkward.

Dan2287 · Answer

Well its OK to try once more given what happened, however ill tell you from experience this does not look good for you unfortunately.

Next time you ask, if she gives you this same garbage, you will need to say something like 'ok then, you seem like a busy woman, so if your ever available and would like to do something let me know and we'll plan something'. Then the ball is in her court and you can move on if nothing happens

ikarus · Answer

you're coming up with excuses for her. in reality, if there's a will, there's a way. the girl does not like you, if she didn't even care to suggest a time when it might be possible, forget the bitch and move on, do not throw away your dignity..

sammy93 · Answer

Gee dude that sucks, but yea dude,I mean you did the right thing. There's no such thing as rejection.  She's not the only girl out there, so DONT fall in love with them really quick.

caitxo · Answer

She is not into you, trust me. Not anything personal probably, she might have a boyfriend or something. But if a girl is interested she would never ever be " too busy" for you.

j0910 · Answer

err...what am I to say?

smiling can mean being courteous or being plain stragety to turn you off...

either way, you have to hang out with a person to know more about a person.

if it doesn,t be blessed to have her a friend.

if it works out, well good luck.

and to end off my advice,

what am I to say in your life? :D

want her as a friend? listen to her! :)

Chicka23502 · Answer

I think that's just a nice way of saying she's not interested, that's what most girls do. Maybe you just don't know her well enough. I'm catholic and there's no real restrictions on who we can date at all. But you can try one more time, just wait awhile.

Biggus_Dickus · Answer

sometimes you have to remember that girls never know what they want and will always aim to get a better man. trust me, stay single, have sex with whatever girl takes a fancy, but never commit to anything with them, its a deadly path.

BellaM94 · Answer

Well, I think it was just a way to say no without being mean. I guess you should just wait and see how she acts these past few days. As you said she's Catholic and you're Muslim, maybe it's that why she said she was busy, but maybe not, so it's better if you wait and see what happens next.

Littletad · Answer

Sometimes girls like a little chasing. It's annoying but true. Ask only one more time, and that's it.

l-hedoniste · Answer

Let her be. If she's interested, she'll try to reschedule. If she doesn't, then you know all you need to know.

Anonymous · Answer

Ever heard of time with family? I'm MORE busy on winter break than I am durring the rest of the school year. Just rebuild a strong FRIENDSHIP and then ask again.

Kaylababe36 · Answer

she's not interested.you should really take your time.

annchandler · Answer

my guess is probably not...he could be talking to someone at tge moment or she could just nt like you in that way and was trying to be nice about iy.dont worry about it but I think that was her way of saying no

Anonymous · Answer

She pretty much rejected you. I think she's just afraid you will blow her up or something.

LovelyLexi · Answer

srry, just how a girl attempts saying no but doesn't want to break a guys heart, to be sure ask one more time if she says no then she doesn't like you :( itskay

lamiaa · Answer

she really could be busy .so re ask her again. all the best

Mandy__ · Answer

I'd ask one more time and if she says no again she definitely is not interested.

So, I asked a girl out and she said she was busy. Is it okay to ask again?

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