Shy 19 year old guy whose never had a date?

[cman8000]

Is there any advice from girls mainly but guys are more than welcome to answer that can be given to a guy like me. Lets see here I'm a 19 year old shy guy whose never had a girlfriend or never even asked a girl out. But there is a girl I regret not asking out in high school. I know I need to be more social and talk to girls more but I don't even know where to start. I am a Christian and at the church I go to one of my teachers said something about speed dating I thought I try that and hopefully that will work out. If that doesn't work does anyone have any other ideas. I am trying to stay on the positive side and keep saying to myself it will just take time before I get a girlfriend but there is a part of me that says I am just gonna end up a virgin until the day I die.



I have been trying to start dressing better not that I have been wearing any worn out clothes but just dressing better and using some cologne to try and get girls attention. Not to brag and I really am not trying to brag but I did get one girl to tell me I looked good today but not the girl I wanted to here that from, she is married already.

Hopefully speed dating will help me find a date but if that doesn't work out what else is there I am on a dating site right now. I thought about facebook. I don't have a facebook account...at least not right now. Anybody know of another idea where I can meet other ladies that live around me.

Also I have searched questions similiar to the one I'm asking and most of them say I need to have confidence. I am far from confident and I don't know if I can even be confident of myself.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for your help

[xomellll10x3]

Hey, I'm in the EXACT same boat as you, I'm 19, never had a date or a relationship or kissed anyone, and I'm a Christian too. I've had my fair share of crushes (unrequited love SUCKS!) but nothing ever works out. And to be honest, I have often felt the same way as you do. The one thing I can tell you is that God has a plan for you that you can't even imagine in your dreams. He has someone special saved for you, and he is saving you from the heartache of teen relationships and from the petty flings and stuff that so many other people go through. I've had to work really hard at convincing myself that. But in the meantime, just be yourself! I know it's cliche, but you have to do what's most comfortable for yourself. But while you're out there being yourself, get involved in more extracurricular activities or sports and such (are you going to any type of school? that would make it easier to join some type of club to meet more people), also, make a facebook. I know it can be a great time-sucker and stuff, but trust me, it takes the pressure off of flirting, and you might find yourself having more conversations with more people. Also, don't be afraid to practice making eye contact and smiling at everyone! Even strangers. It really helps, so if you find someone you like or find attractive, you won't hesitate in smiling at them. And smiling does wonders for relationships of any kind, in initiating them and continuing them. It's powerful. And finally, on the confidence note, I know that's not easy either. I'm not so confident either, but you need to realize that believe it or not, relationships aren't based strictly on looks and stuff. I don't know if you're insecure about your appearance, but if you are, just start doing things to make yourself feel good, like work out and eat well, or get a new haircut or change your style of dress. It will make you feel all the more confident when you feel brand new. Just realize that before you can be happy in a relationship, you need to be happy with yourself first! Good luck and know you're not alone, there are many people struggling with the same thing! It will get easier. In a couple years you'll look back on this time and laugh, like "I was actually worried about that?" it's all in God's time! :) I hope this helped!

[amanda9110]

Church functions should be great to meet girls. Just be friendly, don't ask them out right away but try to be friends first, this is the best advice I can give. That way the pressure is off, no one is going to reject a new friend unless you are rude or unhygienic, which I can tell you aren't. Get to know her and you will probably see signs if she wants to be more. I think it is great you are trying to dress better and wear cologne, those are major boosts of attraction imo.

[JustBekah]

Take it from a 19 year old christian girl: If you're not confident in yourself then that's going to make things much more difficult, however not impossible. There's a lot to say here and I really think I could help, but in your case I think it would be easier, and I would prefer if you added me as a friend and we could talk about it back and fourth if you'd like or over IM. :)

[beastman88]

sounds like you have some soul searching to do buddy, find out what makes you the awesome person you are and portray that to everyone around you. girls will notice this and be magnetized to you. find your confidence and stick your neck out. you won't find a girl if you don't put yourself out there. rejection is something everybody should get used to the worst thing the girl can say is no. nothing else bad will happen I assure you

[art84]

i would try talking to girls at the church, get to know them personality. Do any of them come up to and start a conversation or do they just see you as shy and ignore you. Break outta your confront zone and ask to sit by a girl. She might end up saying yes or no, its a start to getting her as a friend.

[Anonymous]

You got to try start just talking to stranger girls, like what's the time ? Its gonna be hard but Will give you confidence... You Will hear some no but one day you Will hear one yes... Be funny and girls find it really cute when its hard for the guy to ask a girl out...

[TylerMMA]

Believe me, you have it easy just going to church lol.There's tons of good girls there, which is the only reason I went for a long time. I am so going to hell (if it existed that is).

[RugbyPlayingWriter]

yes most girls would like confidence but you can't change everything. some confidence boosters is looking in the mirror and see the things you like about yourself. showcase your strong points and try not to let the shyness take over. gather up all your courge and jump into it. if it works out its meant to be. most girls like a guy with a shy side

[ProfessionalLovers]

do you go to a university? there's a boat load of ways to meet girls there.

[cman8000]

No I went to a tech school. Most of the classes I was in were only guys I guess cause girls don't want to be a diesel mechanic. In my other classes like english the only women was the teacher. The guys in the english class were the guys I was in mechanics class with. However in math class there were guys and girls but the girls were black and overweight(im white and seeking a white woman) or a lot older than me. Thanks for the comment though

[ProfessionalLovers]

ohhh gotcha, yea that would be tough to meet girls in tech school.

maybe some friends know of some girls?

but I feel for you man. I know it can be so hard to find a single, attractive girl with a good head on her shoulders..

[Anonymous]

I am super shy too, well mostly not very self confident, and find shy men very attractive. Aggressive guys are fun and good for...some things, but shy guys are cute and just remind yourself of your quirks and you'll probably be ok.