Why does she keep making excuses?

This girl and I have known each other for about 8 months, and have gone through a lot of stuff together. We recently started dating about 2 months ago, and every time we've hung out, we have a great time. The chemistry is there, the physical attraction is there, we sahre the same interests and we definitely vibrate at the same frequency. Only thing is, I'm ready for a relationship with her and I don't think she is. I've been single for a couple of years, for various reasons, and I really feel like I've found the *one* within her. And I don't talk to her about it a lot, but whenever we do talk about making it official, she always makes an excuse not to. She either wants to wait longer, or she wants to think about it. I don't wanna force anything between us, but I'm really just tired of hearing the same old responses from her. And quite frankly, I'm ready to move on with my life and I'd love for her to join me, but she keeps giving me excuses. I just don't want to continue waiting for her. We were hanging out last night, and I explained to her how I felt, and she just said that she wanted to wait till after Valentine's day, and to "go with the flow", and I really feel like I've been respectful and patient with her. But at the same token, I don't want to wait for her anymore. She won't really clarify why she keeps avoiding officially entering a relationship with me, but I'm at the point where I don't want to wait for her anymore. She says she loves me, and I know she does. So what's the problem?

Am I being selfish? Should I continue waiting for her? Is she playing games with me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow never thought Id have to say this to a guy but never bring up the relationship status unless its clear that she would be open to it. the more you ask the more of a turn off it is especially since she already gave her answer once. Quite frankly she tired of hearing the same old questions from you. "Go with the flow" is code for shutup, you're rushing things. If you can't wait longer than 2 months then she's not "the one". Hang out with her as usual and don't mention it again. When you are ready to give up then just give up in actions by backing off and don't say anything. If I was her and you ended it after 2months because of this then I wouldn't feel too bad about it because Id think I wasn't that special to you if you could walk away so soon because I'm not comfortable yet. I wouldn't think that you would be a very understanding mate in the future either. That actually may be what you are making her question about the relationship. I guarantee you, back off with the words but continue to do the same things you're doing. I know its tough but pretend she's just a friend you are trying to get to know. You might want to back off the "I love you's" too. Only say it when it's really appropriate, not every time you hang up the phone 2 or 3 times a day lol. Good Luck

    • Are you kidding? She's the one that started it with the "i love yous". And I hardly ever bring up the relationship thing in the first place, maybe once or twice every couple of months. And every time I do it, she makes an excuse or wants to wait longer. I'm not going to put my life on hold for her anymore, either she wants it or she doesnt. And if she doesn't want it, then stop making excuses and she needs to stop wasting my time.

    • You asked. I answered. Women are complicated. You are thinking like a man when I am sharing the way of some females. For example, another guy said below about girls wanting sex but saying they are not ready. Its easy for us to get sex so if we had sex with every guy we were just attracted to we'd be sluts so we have to hold back and pick and choose who we sleep with. Same thing here. Despite how she feels something is holding her back and it may be your impatience with her. I know men

    • I know men. When men want something from a woman they expect to happen on their time regardless of whether the woman is comfortable with it or not but when the show is on the other foot then women are supposed to be understanding. Think of something that was important to you but that you are not ready for like marriage or kids, if she asked you and you said you werent ready would 2 months be acceptable for her to wait and then leave you if didn't change your mind yet?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should get yourself a girlfriend and she how she is . If she likes you can tell straight away and if you notice a difference then say I'm crazy about you and always have been but you are wasting my time so I have moved on

    You sound like an amazing guy so why waste anymore time on a girl you may get or may not get . You are only young ones so make the most of it Chine up make her do the running you have done your bit and if you are really meant to be you will be together in the end :)

    all the best :)


What Guys Said 1

  • wow man, your story is actually EXACTLY the same relationship as one of my ex's. She kept mind messing me from kissing her for about the first 2 weeks, lol but in texts she told me she wanted it more than anything.

    If she has a physical attraction, chemistry attraction, etc. You gotta make her want you by giving her a really amazing intimate back massage. I did it to the girl, and she was CRAZY about me. I kid you not, thatd be a good Valentine's gift.