Why do some guys mistake friendliness for flirting?

Question

I might be smiling but it doesn't mean I like you. I'm just trying not to be rude. Then they'll ask if I'm single and if they can have my number. I just feel so awkward about it.

ChurchOfIron · Accepted Answer

Because women are super subtle, even when they're literally insane over a guy. And guys aren't as good as chicks at reading body language and subtle ques. We speak with our words, not our bodies and innuendo. It's a very difficult thing to decode, because generally when a woman is being forward, she's just being a bit more friendly than usual, maybe throwing out some sexual innuendo, which who the fuck knows if it's actually targeted at you or if it's just her not caring and trying to be casual.

Like, this is how crazy women are. She'll be at the bar with a guy that she likes a lot. So she'll flirt with the nearest guy who isn't him hardcore. Because she just likes the other guy so much... Try figuring that one out, if you're the guy she likes.

Women are hard to figure out. Even women don't know wtf is going through their heads a lot of the time.

Those guys might not be putting themselves in your shoes, but you're not really putting yourself in their shoes, either. And one of you has a lot greater capacity to understand the other. Just sayin'.

The only way he will know one way or another whether you like him is by making a move. It's hard to make a move, especially when women are so cryptic, and you don't know whether she is in love with you or wants you to die a slow and painful death.

Try to appreciate the effort and the courage it takes for those guys to put themselves out on a limb. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. All it takes is a change of perspective.

Don't even get me started on flirty chicks who just naturally flirt with everyone. Like an enigma wrapped inside a puzzle trying to figure that one out.

lavarule · Accepted Answer

To reiterate a lot of responses on here, it's because there are a spectrum of women with different behaviors. I've had women that are interested in me be downright mean, angry, want to fight me. I've had girls that are interested in me be super shy and weird and nervous and even unresponsive. I've had girls that are interested in my just be super friendly and kind and sweet. I've also had girls that AREN'T interested be over the top flirty.

It's super hard to tell if a specific woman is interested in you.

The other great thing is some girls lie (guys lie too, so this isn't sexist). They will be friendly, flirty, whatever but when a guy makes a move they will act shocked and deny any interest. Why do they do this? Sometimes they like the attention, sometimes they get nervous, who knows.

Bottom line is if you are young and attractive and not flat out rude guys will hit on you. If you don't like it, start wearing a wedding ring, that would probably help the completely clueless guys. And work on giving of signals of disenterest for the more astute guys.

kayaleyla285 · Accepted Answer

Maybe it's all that is going on in their minds 24/7

mistixs · Accepted Answer

Because they're hoping that it's flirting.

Berethor · Answer

Well you are asexual so no one expect you to be friendly anyway, a stoic expression is more fitting for you. 🙄

Bigfappa · Answer

so ur saying that girl who said hi to me while walking in my apartment,
then 2days later smiled and sat next to me and asked like 5 questions about myself,
then 3 days later knocked on my door n asked me if im going to the house meeting, then smiled while sitting next to me in the house meeting 3 or 4 times n asked me if im ok was jus being friendly?

Nonbinary · Answer

Lack of experience. This was me, a girl was friendly with me all the time and I thought she was into me. Haha silly me, everyone is always friendly. I spent like 5 months thinking it could turn into something. Never again will I read friendliness as such.

botsumsup · Answer

Because some of the "hints" women drop is literally nothing more than them being kind so there's absolutely no fucking way to tell. For one girl, it might be flirting. For another, it's just then being nice.

houseofmince · Answer

This exact situation will happen so many times to the point you stop smiling and end up just being rude... Then guys will be like why are girls so full of themselves and rude...

randomguy5252 · Answer

Why do you mistake asking your relationship status and number for flirting?🤣

ShadowofRegret · Answer

I think it mostly comes from the fact that they cannot accurately tell the meaning of the often subtle signs that most women use.

Fayez99 · Answer

Guys will take any chance to have sex with a girl. But tbf it’s hard for some men to get attention from girls

Juxtapose · Answer

I'm not going to think you're flirting with me unless you compliment my appearance or make a sexual remark. I miss a lot of subtlety that women are fond of but I don't like subtle people.

MoneyBeets · Answer

Because they are beta males who act nice to girls they like so when a girl does the same they assume she’s interested.

That’s why they freak out and act weird when women aren’t into them.

#300IQ

iFarted · Answer

And why do some girls think a guy is just being friendly when he wants more?

snowpaw13 · Answer

Question of my life. I get mistaken for that all the time I just try to be clear and straight forward about that my only intention is to be friendly

Chthou95 · Answer

Because a lot of women can be subtle about things. Not saying all girls are that way. But that can give a guy the wrong signals

mikeboy06 · Answer

OMG OMG You smiled at me yesterday im in love now :)

Sweatyotterr · Answer

A lot of guys are desperate simps

Twenty2 · Answer

Are you single? Can I have your number please?😘

Giggletr0n · Answer

Desperation

Why do some guys mistake friendliness for flirting?

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