Do people often mistake friendliness with being flirtatious?

Question

Today I was serving this guy at my job and I was waiting for his transaction to go through and he goes “You’re just sitting there smiling.” And I wasn’t smiling but more so waiting with a friendly/patient look to make it less awkward and I tell him “No I’m just waiting on you.” And he just says “Don’t play with me girl because you can get it.” Lmaoo and he just walks off and I was confused because I wasn’t even trying to flirt with him but that’s the vibe he got from me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah, guys fall for that a lot. I fell for it as well.

Luckily for me, the girls that like me aren't smiling to me. Not at first, at least.
They wear their 'serious face'. The funniest case I remember is going out with a group of friends and there was this girl in the group that when I just said something to her, nothing flirtatious, and she just looked at me and went away. I was like 'wtf, she just left...'. Later, our mutual friend, told me that whatever I told her friend, she has huge crush on me. Girls...

markscott · Accepted Answer

Yes, sometimes being friendly can come across as flirtatious. Especially if a guy is looking for a reasons to believe a girl is flirting, or he is very flirtatious himself. You didn't do anything you should not have done. Just be yourself, as you can't control what people think.

GhettoGirl · Accepted Answer

I blast off on guys telling them to "Back the F--k up with the sweet talk and bull chit." All the time, maybe sometimes they mightve been just being nice" but "nice" is just too potentially creepy to me so still back up.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I've had at least 2 men think I'm hitting on them because I was nice to them but I was nice because I viewed them as a friend and I always try to treat my friends with honour and respect

AmandaYVR · Answer

It can be extremely difficult to tell the two apart.

JSmuve · Answer

Honestly, it sounds like *he* was flirting with *you*, not the other way around. He was just using whatever you were doing as an excuse to tease you and make it seem like you were flirting with him when it was the other way around.

Anyways, guys often mistake friendliness with being flirtatious because the line between the two is blurry, especially with women. Like shit, when some women's flirt signals are standing in his general vicinity and occasionally looking at him with a meek smile, what's a guy to think? Women constantly say they don't want to come off as desperate so they use subtle hints. Well now guys have to read into everything to try to find those subtle hints and this is the outcome.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Well, here’s the truth of that one: If she’s hot every single guy wants to believe she was flirting. If she’s ugly, she can flirt as hard as she wants and he’s likely to pretend he didn’t know.

You are probably prettier than you realize and just don’t realize how much attention you attract.

Anonymous · Answer

“Don’t play with me girl because you can get it.” HAHAHAHA That's funny.

Reminds me when I was a cashier. We had to ask people for numbers in case they lose their receipt. There was this customer who was a cashier at a different store. It was my very first day as a cashier. He helped me when I got confused. The screen said to ask the customer for his number. I asked for his number, and he says umm, looks at the screen then looks at me then laughs and goes umm noo but thank you. He was looking at the screen so he knew that it was for the store. And everyone around looked embarrassed for me. They put there heads down. The girl he was with was so embarrassed that she quickly changed the subject. I didn't even look at the guy or make eye contact with him once the whole time we were talking. The girl cashier next to me says to herself "wow I was just about to ask you if you liked being a cashier but never mind.."

Prof_Don · Answer

When a man is single and on the hunt, he will presume any non-negative interaction as "I have a shot with her".

If he is mistaken and she was just be friendly... so what? He just moves on with his life. If the gal has her big girl panties on she'll get over it too.

winterfox10 · Answer

This is something that you really have to experience for yourself before you understand it, but the answer is yes; yes, they do. Guys (in the NE USA, especially) live in a world where people are downright unpleasant CONSTANTLY. So when a woman isn't absolutely rude with you, and acts a little friendly, you kind of wonder if the reason she isn't acting like a shithead is because she wants to bang you.

Texaskid1 · Answer

All the time.

At work if I so much as ask a female " how is it going?" and make a few minutes of chit chat people start talking.

I think that we live in such an isolated individualistic society that mere friendliness is taken to mean " they are trying to get in my pants"

FatherJack · Answer

Not me , not at all. This is almost entirely a male mindset , as others have pointed out , most men receive little to no positive female attention , so this may be why it is a male only mistake. Women in customer service roles are often paid to seem friendly , they are never attracted to their male customers , they just want to get the job done as smoothly as possible. The above mentioned guy is obviously deluded

loveslongnails · Answer

It's called "CWTS" ... or "Constant Wishful Thinking Syndrome" It a pandemic, especially among men. It occurs whenever the slightest amount of attention is paid to someone, in any form, resulting in the sudden inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. The only known cure is... sadly... death.

-Asca- · Answer

People tell that it happens quite frequently but my personal experience tells me that it is too stupid to actually happen. Who the hell assumes flirting because of a smile from someone who is just doing their job? Sounds too stupid to be real. But apparently it isn't I guess?

Usernamesrdumb · Answer

Dunno on this one. For me, after metoo you pretty much just gotta come out and hit me over the head with a hammer if you are interested. Too much risk in the grey areas. Unwanted attention will get you put on twitter. Twitter destroys careers. I got a good job and a mortgage. Flirting and getting wrong isn’t worth the risk.

The guy that did that is certainly unaware or just stupid.

hahahmm · Answer

Us guys have met tons of women who played cool when they were actually interested & tons who weren’t interested at first but were after we flirted so re-evaluate from his POV.

Not saying I’d flirt with customer service types tho. Not worth it

ManOnFire · Answer

You weren't flirting. He was.

However, more often women arrogantly believe that it's men who are interested in them just because he is friendly or playful with her or talking to her at all than vice versa.

AuroraRoseat · Answer

You see it all the time on here. I think it’s best to go with the simplest solution at times like that unless if the person makes themselves painstakingly obvious

genericname85 · Answer

because that's how desparate guys are for some recognition and validation... quite sad don't you think?

coolbreeze · Answer

Yes being friendly on the job sucks because many guys will take your customer service as flirting and liking them.

Sweatyotterr · Answer

Yeah a lot of guys do cause they are desperate thirsty simps. Too many men have a scarcity mindset very sad

PinkMichae · Answer

Yes. What's worst is when the girlfriend mistakes your friendliness with flirting and has a tantrum. Lol! Gotta love insecure people.

Avicenna · Answer

Happens all the time. Sometimes people see what they want to see and people have different personalities and communication styles

alice55 · Answer

I think they do, lots of guys thought I had romantic feelings for them while I was just being my natural self with them and being nice.

just_a_potato · Answer

Honestly when someone is being nice I think they're flirting and when they are flirting I take it as being nice so oof

SlothySlob · Answer

Yes. There are certain kinds of people who can't really pick up on social cues. I presume it's either lack of experience or something way worse.

Anonymous · Answer

I tried to become friends with a guy that shared a lot of interests with me. He ended up forcing me to hug him and talking about forcing his tongue in my mouth and such. He knew I had a boyfriend

noelic · Answer

Yeah, this tends to be a problem. I've decided to be super dense instead. Works wonders.

SexyAshh · Answer

Oh yeah, definatly! I think its more so men, but women can be the same way. Thats why im usually not very friendly

Hamsteroids · Answer

Yeah, GUYS specifically tend to confuse being friendly with being flirty. Like all the time lol

yeeeeeeeet · Answer

Nope. Nobody flirts with me in the first place unless they have some kind of bad intentions behind it so I can tell right away.

Dolemite510 · Answer

Sure, some guys are bad at making the distinction and I think a ton of girls are just as guilty at not knowing how to act just friendly vs being flirtatious

DDpsy · Answer

Old problem

rjroy3 · Answer

I get it, but girls do that for flirtatious purposes as well lol. Just a rough gig

Creepazoid · Answer

Apparently look at how many guys there are complaining about being friendzoned. Often it stems from this.

MelaniXenon · Answer

I get you, girl! I never tried to flirt in my entire life but some just dont get it...

Massageman · Answer

Yes, especially when a lawyer tells them how much money they can make from a fake lawsuit.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe women need to change their behavior since it happens so often. Being overly friendly is getting you all into trouble. This is why I mind my own business when I am out.

Ámayas_20 · Answer

Most guys I talk to seem to take my friendliness for flirty yeah.

morrowlow · Answer

well that is bound to happen since women act exactly the same when they are being friendly and when they're being flirtatious

sp33d · Answer

He'll grow out of it.. eventually, hopefully. A lot of guys in their early 20s are like that.

PoohBoy38 · Answer

I think they do, lots of guys thought I had romantic feelings for them while I was just being my natural self with them and being nice.

Jess1073 · Answer

Happens to me all the time. I try to be very respectful and kind but maybe I'm actually sending mixed signals? Older men are always assuming I'm flirting and its extremely discomforting.

Gedaria · Answer

They can do, but I think they know and just like the attention ….

KacchanExplosion · Answer

It's not flirting  I'm just being extra friendly to someone who's extra attractive

deputy4615 · Answer

How do you make your pussy more inviting for a penis? Do you shave pussy hair or go all natural?

Loser94 · Answer

Most guys always think that if a girl is being nice then she's flirting

Anonymous · Answer

Of course. Guys are made to be the initiator, so they have to lean toward seeing things that way.

ahmadnazar · Answer

Ever met a guy with too overly high expectations? Very common

Anonymous · Answer

Next time wear a T-shirt on which "i 'm asexual. So fuck off" is printed

Neeceeb7 · Answer

Everyday people are nice they think flirting

Swat_ · Answer

My dad is like this. I apologize.

kimstar69 · Answer

He was just flirting most likely

Syrian_survivor · Answer

That guy sounds mentally ill, sorry lmao

Brookie1212 · Answer

All the time it’s pretty annoying

OhmIsTyping · Answer

Lmfao that would be funny to see irl

stormbreaker06 · Answer

You love the attention so why complain.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

some do cuz most are not real friendly

Molly417 · Answer

yes, people mistake it ALL the time.

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

Yes all the fuckings time

Anonymous · Answer

Guy commonly make this mistake.

asseatter · Answer

fine line between happy n horny coz it shows

Alilbitblonde · Answer

Well...

Nivinxus · Answer

Sadly, they do.

Do people often mistake friendliness with being flirtatious?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do people often mistake friendliness with being flirtatious?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.