Do people often mistake friendliness with being flirtatious?

[Anonymous]

Today I was serving this guy at my job and I was waiting for his transaction to go through and he goes “You’re just sitting there smiling.” And I wasn’t smiling but more so waiting with a friendly/patient look to make it less awkward and I tell him “No I’m just waiting on you.” And he just says “Don’t play with me girl because you can get it.” Lmaoo and he just walks off and I was confused because I wasn’t even trying to flirt with him but that’s the vibe he got from me.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, guys fall for that a lot. I fell for it as well.

Luckily for me, the girls that like me aren't smiling to me. Not at first, at least.
They wear their 'serious face'. The funniest case I remember is going out with a group of friends and there was this girl in the group that when I just said something to her, nothing flirtatious, and she just looked at me and went away. I was like 'wtf, she just left...'. Later, our mutual friend, told me that whatever I told her friend, she has huge crush on me. Girls...

[markscott]

Yes, sometimes being friendly can come across as flirtatious. Especially if a guy is looking for a reasons to believe a girl is flirting, or he is very flirtatious himself. You didn't do anything you should not have done. Just be yourself, as you can't control what people think.

[GhettoGirl]

I blast off on guys telling them to "Back the F--k up with the sweet talk and bull chit." All the time, maybe sometimes they mightve been just being nice" but "nice" is just too potentially creepy to me so still back up.

[morrowlow]

oooh yeah keep it ghetto. bigup!

[jennifer_bloom]

I've had at least 2 men think I'm hitting on them because I was nice to them but I was nice because I viewed them as a friend and I always try to treat my friends with honour and respect

[AmandaYVR]

It can be extremely difficult to tell the two apart.

[JSmuve]

Honestly, it sounds like *he* was flirting with *you*, not the other way around. He was just using whatever you were doing as an excuse to tease you and make it seem like you were flirting with him when it was the other way around.

Anyways, guys often mistake friendliness with being flirtatious because the line between the two is blurry, especially with women. Like shit, when some women's flirt signals are standing in his general vicinity and occasionally looking at him with a meek smile, what's a guy to think? Women constantly say they don't want to come off as desperate so they use subtle hints. Well now guys have to read into everything to try to find those subtle hints and this is the outcome.

[Flatmanlewis]

Well, here’s the truth of that one: If she’s hot every single guy wants to believe she was flirting. If she’s ugly, she can flirt as hard as she wants and he’s likely to pretend he didn’t know.

You are probably prettier than you realize and just don’t realize how much attention you attract.

[Anonymous]

“Don’t play with me girl because you can get it.” HAHAHAHA That's funny.

Reminds me when I was a cashier. We had to ask people for numbers in case they lose their receipt. There was this customer who was a cashier at a different store. It was my very first day as a cashier. He helped me when I got confused. The screen said to ask the customer for his number. I asked for his number, and he says umm, looks at the screen then looks at me then laughs and goes umm noo but thank you. He was looking at the screen so he knew that it was for the store. And everyone around looked embarrassed for me. They put there heads down. The girl he was with was so embarrassed that she quickly changed the subject. I didn't even look at the guy or make eye contact with him once the whole time we were talking. The girl cashier next to me says to herself "wow I was just about to ask you if you liked being a cashier but never mind.."

[Opinion Owner]

*their

[rogers121]

Thanks for sharing. It made me smile

[Opinion Owner]

@rogers121 LOL welcome

[Prof_Don]

When a man is single and on the hunt, he will presume any non-negative interaction as "I have a shot with her".

If he is mistaken and she was just be friendly... so what? He just moves on with his life. If the gal has her big girl panties on she'll get over it too.

[winterfox10]

This is something that you really have to experience for yourself before you understand it, but the answer is yes; yes, they do. Guys (in the NE USA, especially) live in a world where people are downright unpleasant CONSTANTLY. So when a woman isn't absolutely rude with you, and acts a little friendly, you kind of wonder if the reason she isn't acting like a shithead is because she wants to bang you.

[Texaskid1]

All the time.

At work if I so much as ask a female " how is it going?" and make a few minutes of chit chat people start talking.

I think that we live in such an isolated individualistic society that mere friendliness is taken to mean " they are trying to get in my pants"

[FatherJack]

Not me , not at all. This is almost entirely a male mindset , as others have pointed out , most men receive little to no positive female attention , so this may be why it is a male only mistake. Women in customer service roles are often paid to seem friendly , they are never attracted to their male customers , they just want to get the job done as smoothly as possible. The above mentioned guy is obviously deluded

[loveslongnails]

It's called "CWTS" ... or "Constant Wishful Thinking Syndrome" It a pandemic, especially among men. It occurs whenever the slightest amount of attention is paid to someone, in any form, resulting in the sudden inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. The only known cure is... sadly... death.

[-Asca-]

People tell that it happens quite frequently but my personal experience tells me that it is too stupid to actually happen. Who the hell assumes flirting because of a smile from someone who is just doing their job? Sounds too stupid to be real. But apparently it isn't I guess?

[Supernatural_fanatic]

Yeah it sounds stupid but if that person sees the other as attractive and would want to pursue them romantically, in their heads everything that person does supports their desire

[-Asca-]

It's usually the opposite for me tbh

[Usernamesrdumb]

Dunno on this one. For me, after metoo you pretty much just gotta come out and hit me over the head with a hammer if you are interested. Too much risk in the grey areas. Unwanted attention will get you put on twitter. Twitter destroys careers. I got a good job and a mortgage. Flirting and getting wrong isn’t worth the risk.

The guy that did that is certainly unaware or just stupid.

[hahahmm]

Us guys have met tons of women who played cool when they were actually interested & tons who weren’t interested at first but were after we flirted so re-evaluate from his POV.

Not saying I’d flirt with customer service types tho. Not worth it

[ManOnFire]

You weren't flirting. He was.

However, more often women arrogantly believe that it's men who are interested in them just because he is friendly or playful with her or talking to her at all than vice versa.

[AuroraRoseat]

You see it all the time on here. I think it’s best to go with the simplest solution at times like that unless if the person makes themselves painstakingly obvious

[genericname85]

because that's how desparate guys are for some recognition and validation... quite sad don't you think?

[genericname85]

they are so starved for some positive attention that even just being friendly will make them think you love them xD

[coolbreeze]

Yes being friendly on the job sucks because many guys will take your customer service as flirting and liking them.

[PinkMichae]

Yes. What's worst is when the girlfriend mistakes your friendliness with flirting and has a tantrum. Lol! Gotta love insecure people.

[Avicenna]

Happens all the time. Sometimes people see what they want to see and people have different personalities and communication styles

[Sweatyotterr]

Yeah a lot of guys do cause they are desperate thirsty simps. Too many men have a scarcity mindset very sad

[just_a_potato]

Honestly when someone is being nice I think they're flirting and when they are flirting I take it as being nice so oof