Should I act on my crush with the guy at work?

[Anonymous]

Hey,

Me and this guy at work have this really strong bond.. we have so much fun and laugh all day long.. we have exactly the same sense of humor and we go for lunch together and talk about really personal things. We have so much in common and I have never got on with someone so well... not even best friends..I am now developing a massive crush and I don't know what to do. He is 40 and I am 29 and he normally goes for Asian girls or really slim stunning girls.. I am of the slightly curvy variety and although I am OK looking don't fall into these categories, I don't want to jeopardize our friendship by saying something.. as he means so much to me.. but then if I don't and there is a chance that he feels the same way... I wouldn't want to miss out on such an amazing thing... What should I do ?

[leftrightnorthsouth]

MAY I JUST WARN YOU.
i am currently in a realtinship with a co worker he is older than me. and down the track it causes MAJOR MAJOR problems for your relationship. we worked together for about 3 - 4 months before we went out together and we have been working together whilst in a realtionship for over a year.
if you do go out with him, make sure one of you leaves it doesn't have to be straight away in fact it will make you both a lot closer but after about 3 months do find another job, so your realtinship never has to go through problems at work together. its been a nightmare for me and my boyfriend and I'm really trying to find a new job, its cuased so many problems and he doesn't love me atm but we are both working on it.
i just don't want the same thing to happen to someone else
:)

[rachiee]

You need to be cautious with this. You may have already been put into the friend zone. The best way for you to figure out what's going on is to give him little hints for now. Asking him to hang out away from work, flirting with him, etc. are good ways to put yourself out there and see how he responds. His response to things like that should give you a better idea as to how he's feeling about it. If he's eager to hang out with you or doesn't take the flirting wrongly and seem uncomfortable then that's a good sign that he's into you. Its a little more safer than just straight up asking him which could change your relationship for the worst if he doesn't feel the same way. As for his type, be confident. A strong connection beats normal preferences any day.

[Asker]

Thank you... I think I need to maybe ask him to do something on a weekend and see how it goes.. we have been to a few gigs together with his friends that I hadn't met before and it was great.. but as you say I am cautious... Thank you for saying that about the connection... Its hard as I don't have a type and could never imagine having a type.,.. but I suppose I think that men feel differently

[Longshot]

1st question is whether you have done anything together outside of work. If not, suggest something that is not heavy duty. You will know more about his attitude and feelings for you outside of the workplace.

[Asker]

Well we have been to a few gigs together with other people and been out for drinks... I just don't know.. I have told someone I had feelings before when it was just friendship and it went wrong.. that was years ago... so maybe I'm just scared of that happening again