Smack on the butt.. shoulder/back massage.. flirting?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy I’ve been friends with for almost 9 years. We were intimate for a few months back in 2016. He’d act weird when other guys were nice to me.. before and after he moved.. but is normally the casual type. We had lunch a few weeks ago with another friend when he was in town and then went to the lake to hang out. He was wanting to go swimming, so he told me to bring my bathing suit. He sprayed lotion on my back and massaged it into my neck and back (upper/lower). When I made a joke that the weight id gained had gone to my butt.. he said he could tell and smacked my butt. He hasn’t done anything like that in a long time, so confused about if this was his way to show he still finds me attractive. When I mentioned I owed him lunch next time he was in town.. he said I thought you owed me dessert? I’m just wondering if I’m safe to flirt and if that’s what he was doing..

Updates

+1 y

One of the times that we spent together intimately.. we’d shared a brownie beforehand.. a few months ago when I said I owed him lunch and dessert.. his response was.. “brownie?”.. so when he brought up that I owed him dessert after lunch recently.. thought he was either being flirty or cheeky.

[LokiWhite]

I would assume that is flirting for sure, I always think it's best to try and get things out of that weird ambiguous zone, so go for it

[Asker]

Thanks.. the acting weird about other guys was confusing.. cause he would then would act like it didn't bother him. When i thanked him for being good company at lunch.. He sent 😘😘😘 back in text

[LokiWhite]

At the very least it's a conversation worth having

[Asker]

Any idea of what the acting jealous then not about other guys is about? He’s normally casual

[LokiWhite]

He wants you to be with him not others but understands he has no right to ask that if you two aren't together.

[Asker]

Thanks.. it’s hard cause I do like him a lot. When one of his friends suggested the three of us “hang out”.. he’d been on vacation and I hadn’t heard from him, so I told his friend they could talk that over. I later found out that he told his friend to tell me hi and he’d been trying to call me. A friend of my brothers told me that was my friends way to tell his pal “BACK OFF”.. as in.. dog and fire hydrant. That sound about right? But again thank you

[LokiWhite]

No worries. You just need to talk to him about it all.

[Asker]

True.. I’m just afraid of hurting our friendship

[LokiWhite]

If you go about it in a noncoy upfront way, and get everything resolved, then it won't have any long lasting effects

[Asker]

Thank you.. he’s older then I am.. that’s the hard part. I did think it was sweet that when he realized the spray lotion he used tickled my leg.. he sprayed me a couple more times.

[LokiWhite]

Then it's definitely worth pursuing!

[Asker]

You’re very sweet.. thank you. I was in a long term marriage that ended so I’m out of practice.

[LokiWhite]

Oh that must be difficult! Good luck with all of it, I'm sure it will go well.

[Anonymous]

Yeah this is beyond flirty, he's attracted to you, emotionally and sexually

[Asker]

And the acting weird about other guys and then not... Hiding jealousy?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, perhaps

[Asker]

So the emotional attraction comes from?

[Opinion Owner]

Perhaps he developed it from spending so much time with you

[Asker]

That’s true.. we’ve known each other for almost 9 years.. I know when one of his friends wanted to hang out.. they talked and he told his friend to tell me hi and he’d been trying to call me. A friend of my brothers said that was code for back off

[Asker]

What he meant was that was guy code in terms of him telling his friend to back off

[Opinion Owner]

He's being competitive with you and he thinks that you might spend more time with him

[Asker]

That’s what I figured