Boys, do you ever think of your first love, first girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

My ex was my very first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first intimate contact. we never had sex. he's now 19 and I will be 18. But do you think he ever thinks about me? I know he cared about me before, but now he's such a jerk to me talks to me, ignores me, back and forth. I want to get back with him, but I feel like he doesn't even care :(

do you ever think of her? do you ever miss her? wish things happened/ended differently? would you ever get back again if things could be resolved down the line?

i don't know why this is so hard for me. I really cared about him and now I feel like a pile of sh*t to him :(

Updates

+1 y

*Sorry this is in sexuality, every time I click break up it changes into the above category.

[indy7]

This probably isn't much comfort to you right now, but it took me YEARS to get over my first serious girlfriend. She was your age at the time, I was 3 years older, and I just KNEW she was the one. But she pretty much treated me the same way your ex has been treating you after she ended it because of her meeting someone else. After being apart for a year we dated each other for the week over a Christmas break and I haven't seen her face since.

Yes, I wanted her back. I missed her badly. I think of her nearly every day even though it was, well... a VERY long time ago. But, believe it or not, we still keep in touch, but not very often. I asked her not long ago about the possibility of her ever moving back to the area. She was somewhat receptive to the idea. But, no, it won't happen; at least not right now, but, I had to ask. I can wait another 25 years if I have to (yes it's been THAT long!) I've lived and expect to live a great life in the meantime.

So, yes, I'm sure your ex thinks about you. And I'm sure you'll go on thinking about him, too. I'm just sorry for you that he's treating you so badly. There's nothing worse than what you're going through -- no worse feeling in the world than caring so deeply for someone and then having them make you feel like a pile of sh*t. And all you want is to have them back again. Unfortunately the hurt continues. But, please be wise enough to know if and when it's time to "forget" him and live your life, although you'll never really forget him, nor should you.

I once had someone tell me, "If it was meant to be she'll be back". "Maybe he'll be back".

We know it hurts; it hurts like hell. I'm sorry for that. Relationships definitely do suck :( If you can surround yourself with good friends and family perhaps that can help some.

[Asker]

thank you :) that cheered me up. I would like to stay friends with him, but I don't know if that's possible know. apparently he's talking to a new girl now. she looks like me, acts like me we have the exact same interests she's majoring in what I will be majoring in. its nearly a clone. we also have the same name and kellyanne isn't very common :/ I know I should try and move on wait it out. do you think there's anything I could do differently? or let "fate" play its course?

[Asker]

*possible now* I hate when I make grammatical errors -_-

[indy7]

Now THAT?S weird!

Obviously I don?t know him, but it sounds like he has some growing up to do. (Don?t we all?) You probably don?t want to hear this, but my guess is that there?s not a thing you can do differently to change his mind if you haven?t done so already. The last thing you want to do is drive him further away, so show him you?re handling the situation maturely. That in itself may be attractive to him provided he?s bright enough to notice. So, my advice is to let fate play its course.

[indy7]

THAT's weird...my advice is to let fate play its course.

If on the off-chance he does happen to notice and then show you some attention, for god’s sake don’t fall into the same old pattern of SHOWING how much you care for him; so much so that he FEELS you’re obsessing over him or smothering him, or you’ll lose him all over again. He’s apparently one of those people who likes their space. I can relate to that. I may be off base here, but it’s possible he may be the type of person who obtains a sense of self-worth by simply doing some things alone.

…Or maybe I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and he’s really just a selfish asshole. You know him best. You tell me. Ask yourself and then tell me, “Were the good times great, really good, or just so-so?” “Were the not-so-good times not too bad, bad, or really bad times?”

Oftentimes when we look back on a relationship we tend to only focus on the good times and completely block out the bad times. If you had bad times, which you apparently did with his friends harassing you and such, how bad were they? Could you go through them again, or could you put up with bad times again if you got back together? Or, more importantly, WOULD you put up with them again?

What do you think KA?

[Asker]

lol I'''m not so sure. someone who I was once interested in came back into my life and the more I ignored him, the more persistent he was. and I never purposely ignored him, I was busy working. so if I take the same aspect and apply it to my ex, it might work. not really into the guy that came back because he plays games a lot, but so does my ex. ahh. better off just waiting. thank you for your advice, it was very helpful.

[Justinefoox]

Literally going through it right now. One day he wants to talk, one day he doesn't.

[Asker]

it sucks so much :( and this has been going on for over a year. I try moving on and he comes back and its all down hill. and he wanted to get back with me, then acted like a jerk again. apparently, he's now talking to a girl with the same name as me, looks like me, majoring in the same field as me, and has the same exact hobbies as me and its driving me up the wall :(

[Justinefoox]

Why'd you break up?

[Asker]

to be honest, I'm not even sure why. we live about 30 min apart. he said it was the distance, he got bored of me, he didn't feel the same, he thought "i cared about him too much, that I was obsessed" that pissed me off. a bunch of other stuff. we talked, stopped talking because I iniated nc, talked again went to his prom, he acted like a jerk to me and let his friends harass me, I didn;t talk to him for a while, he apologized we were talking then when I asked him if he cared about me, he got...

[Asker]

weird again, he forgot my birthday and I didn't talk to him for a while. I wished him one and he apologized for everything were going good for a while told me he missed me wanted me back, he was sorry for acting like such an ass, he never got over me still cared about me, we nearly got back together and then he got all distant and I told him "i care about you but I can't keep doing this back and forth, I have to walk away. and he said fine then walk away. talked to him recentally since I have a

[Asker]

new number and apologized for my feelings getting in the way and asked to be friends and he said "listen, I don't like you like that anymore but if you want to be friends, I won't be an asshole to you." and we've talked briefly within the last 3 weeks. I want to see if he'll initiate contact with me, but appt he's talking to that girl. and I don't know what to do because I've tried moving on and I haven't been able to yet but I also want him in my life :/

[Justinefoox]

Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's just time. I know how you feel, I've been so depressed lately. We broke up almost a month ago. I literally just stopped crying after like an hour. You're older than me, so I'm guessing he wasn't the guy that you lost your virginity to. But he was mine so it sucks more.

[Asker]

:/ guys suck I'm still a virgin, so I never had sex. I've experience other things, but not that. thankfully my bond doesn't go as deep because I'd be in worse shape than I am now. however, I would try not talking to him wait till he talks to you which is what I'm trying to do now with my ex. pretend you're happy and okay with it. I remember when my ex texted me when we recently broke up saying "we haven't talked in a while..." and I was like "yeah, I know, I've got things going on, I'm busy.

[Asker]

*that bothered him. so try and show you're happy, okay with it, and such. don't purposefully try and make your ex jealous, but I went to a 2 proms other than his and it set him off the wall. he was so jealous, but there wasn't anything he can do about it. try and make it seem your life is better with out him. too bad I can't follow my own advice hahaha.

[Justinefoox]

I guess it's just time.

[droctopus]

Yes, sometimes. I think a lot of guys have a soft spot for their first love.

[Asker]

would you ever try and rekindle your past relationship with her if things could turn out differently?

[CuriousEddie]

I will never ever forget her, and she'll always have a place in my heart, even though she cheated on me and left me.

[Asker]

would you ever try and get her back if you knew she still had feelings for you?

[CuriousEddie]

She later told me she regretted it and she made a mistake... that was nice to hear. Today, though, she doesn't have feelings for me like that, although we stay in touch once in a great while.

[Asker]

relationships suck :/ it be easier if I could just forget it and move on as he seemed to

[jimmydean72]

Yes...of course.

[Asker]

would you ever try and get her back if you knew she still had feelings for you?

[Gregs]

very rare