Is she leading me on?

[Anonymous]

There's a girl who has shown signs of interest in me. Here's a list of things that have made me suspicious:

- I made a joke about us having a joint birthday party as our birthdays are close together and she's brought it up on numerous occasions.

- She touches my arm occasionally

- Laughs at a lot of my jokes

- Remembers little things I tell her, such as the brand of cigarettes I smoke.

- I once asked her what bands she's into and she strangely only listed bands that I have on my Facebook, even though I know she's into loads more than those

- I've caught her staring at me in lessons before, and looking away

- She's asked if I could attend the same University she intends on visiting

- Once we were working together in lesson and she randomly took a piece of work paper off me and wrote my name on it, just out of the blue

- Just today at the end of lesson while her friends were leaving she decided to come over to me instead of going with them, albeit seeming a bit nervous.

- Occasionally comes across as nervous and shy around me.

Now, the other day I posted a link to my friend's wall listing tour dates for a band and asking if he was up for it. He said he was unable to make it due to being on holiday, then hours later she randomly commented saying "I do!" So I spoke to her about it the next day and she seemed less sure, saying "maybe, I don't have much money though". I've asked her a few times with the same response, and her telling me to text her.

This makes me cautious because the last time I texted her it was to invite her out for a few drinks with other college friends and she didn't reply at all.She claims that she didn't get the text and she was busy over half term anyway, so I'm a bit worried she won't reply this time.

I've also seen her do some mild flirting with a few of her guy friends, although she's been friends with them longer than me (I've only been speaking to her for about two months) and sees more of them than me, so obviously they're closer to her in her friendship circle than I am, which I wouldn't consider myself part of.

And one last thing, she becomes a bit more quieter and harder to talk to when we're around her friends.

What do people make of this?

[Wilsky]

All people flirt. All the time. The fact you have seen her flirt elsewhere means nothing. It's also not a good sign that it bothers you. Perhaps she caught you looking and has been in a controlling relationship in the past. I seriously would give that up.

Ok, off my soapbox.

She's into you dude. You need to act fast. As whilst you are wondering if she likes you or not, she is probably thinking you're just not interested. Stop dwelling on the negative, the texts, the flirting, look at all the positive signals she given you. Ask yourself, what positive signals have you given her? Let her know you like her back. Heck, buy her a damn ticket. She really may not have much money.

If she turns you down, at least you now know, take it on the chin and take a friend instead, and next time, remember you need to act faster!

[JSmuve]

I'd approach this with extreme caution. It seems like she's giving you some indication she might like you, but she's pulling away as well. I'm in a similar boat. I know a girl who gives me all sorts of signs, posts on my wall saying I'm the sexiest thing she's seen, texting me saying she loves me and all that jazz. But whenever I text her saying I want to hang out, she never responds. My advice: keep doing what you're doing around her but don't invest any emotional energy into her because chances are it won't lead to anything with her, especially if she flirts with her other guy friends. It could be that's she's just a natural flirt and nothing more. Nevertheless, keep an eye on it, it could turn into something, but don't get too attached to the idea that she's into you.

[chazly]

I agree, approach this carefully. You should try to plan something with her that's convenient and easy, like grabbing a cup of coffee or getting lunch. If she finds some outrageous excuse, well you can address that when it comes. But it also sounds like she may have regretted posting that "I do" on your status or whatever, I've done that before.

[Asker]

Just out of curiosity, and not questioning what you say, why would she have regretted it?

[viva_glow]

It SOUNDS like she likes you. It's possible she was telling the truth about the drinks. And it's possible she was just being nice when she declined.
Try again. And when she declines, insist. THEN if she still declines, I'm not really sure what to tell you. That is weird.
The ONLY other possible think I could think of is that she has a social phobia/deals with social anxiety, and that she likes you, but her anxiety keeps her from having what she wants. Social phobias/social anxiety is complicated. If you look into it, you'll see what I mean. But if you really like this girl, you can encourage her and make it work. It'll take effort on her part though.
Hope all works out.
I don't IMAGINE this is her weird indecisiveness though, but I guess, gosh, it could be anything.

[Anonymous]

She seems really wishy washy to me. All signs pointed to her liking you until I got to the part about where she flaked on the show. I'd back off. If I liked a guy, I wouldn't ignore him or turn him down if he asked me out. I would kinda want to be around him, ya know? Maybe she's just a flirt.

[Asker]

She's been acting like this on a few occasions after she didn't reply to my text though, which was about a month ago now. For example, she did quite a few of those things yesterday, when she was being very flirtatious.

I'm not sure if she turned me down as well. She sounded up for it until I told her tickets were on sale Monday, maybe she thought they were on sale later, when she might have had money.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you should just ask her out on a date. Then you'll know?