Is she leading me on?

[Anonymous]

So there is this girl I am interested in, but I am getting mixed messages from her.

We hit it off around Christmas last year but after about 2 months of solidly seeing each other, she pulled back, became distant, and stated she needed to work on herself despite wanted to continue talking and seeing me. There also some family issues she was dealing with at the time. It felt like we were on the cusp of a relationship. During the two months together, we made plans throughout the year and to meet family. She occasionally texts me, but never truly continues the conversation despite initiating it. She is always looking at my stories and posts on social media.

I was trying to give her space and not push her too much. Now I am a little confused because it looks like she is now ready to date again, updated her dating profile, and unmatched with me. Not sure what to make of it. Also, tomorrow is her birthday I was thinking of sending her a quick video message or text. Any advice? Thoughts?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Sending her a text to see if she might be interested in trying again sounds like the least offensive way to go.

But she hasn't been "leading you on".

She was clear about not being in a space for a relationship. You knew she wasn't going to commit to anything.

If you brought more attachment to that, that's on you. You're leading yourself on.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comments. Leading on may seem harsh since I agree - she said she wasn't in a space for a relationship. Since then I have been giving her space during this time to figure things out. I just don't understand these random messages that she starts but won't carry a conversation from her every 2-3 weeks if she isn't interested.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

She's interested in your friendship, or perhaps to get to know you.

Not everyone forms attachments as quickly as you do.

It's honestly best to be upfront and just ask her about what your status is.