Do girls chase guys?

[Anonymous]

Please explain your votes! :)

Do you ever go after the guy or do you let him do all the work?

If you do chase, what makes you want to chase him? What do you do?

If you think he should do all the work what would you expect him to do to get your attention or interest?

If you believe it should be a mixture of the guy and the girl chasing who does most of the chasing?

Girls don't chase guys

Girls do chase guys

It's a mixture. Both girls and guys chase.

Updates

+1 y

For those that are interested still here is great article on this subject:

"Why don't women ask men out on first dates?" Psychology Today

link

[HotPepper302]

It depends on how badly I want them, whether or not they're already chasing me, and the odds of it working in my favour. If a guy's chasing me, I only reciprocate if I'm feeling him too. Similarly, I think that guys experience the same thing. So it's all about gauging his potential reactions, and deciding whether he's worth the risk. I have chased guys before. I've been rejected, but I've also experienced positive outcomes. I think that as long as there's some level of give and take, it's healthy for either sex to pursue the other. It shouldn't always be up to the man, or all of those wonderful shy guys out there would end up lonely! I'm not sure what it is that makes me chase a guy... It's just a gut feeling. A natural attraction that I can't get over. If I want him to chase me, I flirt, and then back off to see if he took the bait/wants more. Although, again, it depends on so many things... I find that men generally do most of the chasing, but I definitely don't think that it's reasonable for girls to think they don't have to pull their own weight. If you like someone, go for it! :)

[Asker]

In my experience this is pretty much how it works. I talk/flirt with a girl and continue or stop based on her reactions. While I agree it is a give and take I feel that in most cases the guy is predominantly "chasing" and the girl either reciprocates to some extent (flirts back etc.) or she doesn't and the guy (usually) gets the drift.

[Tamikaze]

I think the girl should be approachable as well as able to start or continue a conversation with a guy. I do not think the guy needs to perform like a peacock to get a girl's attention though if a girl is very interesting to a guy, they will do things to catch her attention.

I believe the guy should ask for the date and it should be a date, not an offer to "hangout" or some other vague thing that leaves the girl wondering if the guy wants romance or friendship or is just trying to convert her into booty call.

I think girls should be polite and if she does not want to date a guy, she should politely decline, not accept then cancel or give a million excuses that keeps a guy wondering if he still has a chance when you know you are not interested.

So, no, I do not think girls should chase guys but they also should not leave everything up to the guy either. Dating and romance is a dance between two people and both sides need to bring something to the table in most cases.

[Asker]

Gosh if only every girl thought this way. I can't tell you how many times a girl accepted then later changed plans or cancelled and left me wondering if she was really just busy or trying to subtly show she wasn't interested.

As for inviting a girl to "hangout" I am guilty of this sometimes. Usually it's just through texting or in person as a precursor to see if she would be interested in spending time with me. If she says yes to hangout I will then set plans for a specific activity which I

[Asker]

...which I usually think is more clearly a "date" with just us.

[Tamikaze]

All the behaviors that don't match what I think you should do come from fear. Guys are fearful of being rejected, so they ask for a "hang out". Girls are fearful of confrontation, so they don't tell a guy the truth. I am older and have learned that fear keeps us from having the best possible things in life. Playing it safe means only a narrow range of outcomes will be possible. It is all a matter of how much "safe" you will risk to allow for the best things to happen.

[Tamikaze]

And, thank you for Best Answer!

[Drake742]

Please foreward your reply to other women pleease.

[Drake742]

Tamikaze thank you for your explanation. It never occured to me why girls do that.

[GreenTea007]

I completely agree with Tamikaze; I don't chase guys I merely try to make my interest known. At least, I don't see it that way. To me, chasing is a bit more aggressive and I think guys can get away with that better than girls can without pushing at the psycho boundaries.

I put the flirtatious feelers out there, and hope he picks up the hints to ask me out. If he doesn't, I wait to see if he at least responds in kind or if I get shot down. If I don't get shot down with body language or nonverbal behavior I casually might suggest coffee or something.

Used to be completely against asking a guy out at all, in anyway, but ever since I've changed my point of view and stepped up sometimes, I have a lot more luck. And not one of them thinks I'm easy/desperate just for making one of the first moves! :-)

[Asker]

This is exactly how I understand things to work. It's definitely refreshing for a girl to make a bit of the guesswork easier by making one of the first moves. Thanks for the answer!

[Anonymous]

Every single woman whom I got involved with has taken the initiative to give me the hint first! I'm just average... but maybe also prone to waiting for the initiative to come from the other side... I like it when a woman's intentions are clear; maybe I can't stand being rebuffed!

[TC123]

The classical image is that it's the guy doing it but that's just a fantasy. If a girl likes a guy she will "chase" him, ie put effort into the relationship, plan dates, buy gifts, do things for him, that sort of thing.

[Asker]

I still feel the classical image is the one more common in today's society. Yes there's the exception and I would even go so far as to say it's becoming a little more common for girls to pursue guys (no personal experience to back this up though) - the fact is guys are still expected to do the chasing.

[crushsodacan]

It varies from girl to girl. Depending on personality. Confident girls have no problem pursuing after a guy they like. But I think it's a "meet me halfway" kinda deal.

For me personally, I find it so attractive when a guy isn't so forward. Because it makes the guy more mysterious an sexy. And according law of attraction, we all want what we can't have right? So when it's more of a challenge to get a guy I think it's funner.

But don't confuse challenging with disinterest.

But then again I'm only talking about the initiating. After a girl makes the first move, we tend to wait and see what the guy will respond. Cause all in all, we still want to be chased by the guy. But that doesn't mean we won't make a move as well.

Basically, I think whoever is more interested should do the chasing. Whatever the gender.

[AmberChick]

In my experience, chasing a guy never works. They end up trying to outrun the girl. If the girl thinks he should do all the work, then she should probably cool it. But, if the guy doesn't want you, no amount of waiting for him will help.

[Asker]

What do you mean? What have you done to chase guys and what was he doing to "outrun" you?

[AmberChick]

Guys don't like it when girls chase them. that is what I mean, it's not rocket science

[AmberChick]

The key is mutual attraction like tamikaze said

[AmberChick]

I don't get why I got a down arrow. I pretty much said the same thing others did in different words. UHHHHH

[AmberChick]

Ooga booga

[Asker]

Wasn't me sorry. :-(

[Phoenix52]

Chasing should be 50/50. If a guy has to chase so much, he'll lose energy and figure he's wasting his time. Likewise for the girl. Both gotta display interest to some extent.

[AmberChick]

That's true, I guess I was saying that chasing a guy who doesn't want you never works. But, if you're mutually attracted, both should be chasing.

[Anonymous]

im pretty forward. if I like a guy I eventually will let him know and show hints I'm interested and if he shows signs he's possibly interested but never asks me to hang out sometimes I'll do it for him because I know some guys hesitate because they aren't absolutely positive how the girl feels (especially shy guys) so I'll ask to hang out or get dinner or something to show that I am interested so he might feel more comfortable approaching me in the future. I've also had guys tell me that they wished more girls would ask guys out and that they love it. but after I first show interest and make it clear I'm into him then I leave it up to him to finish the rest, like make a second date and start initiating conversations more (and of course I would still flirt and talk etc etc)

[Asker]

Brilliant! Nothing wrong with that. What I've gathered from these answers is that it doesn't matter WHO makes the move as long as someone makes one and someone isn't making ALL the moves.

[Anonymous]

I don't chase guys just cause I dont

I would prefer it he did all the work cause I'm a shy person (any shy person, guy or girl would agree)

I don't think he should do ALL the work, a girl should at least do a bit of the work

I don't know what to expect from a guy to get my attention or interests

I do believe it should be a mixture but I immediately voted B since I know girls who do chase after guys.. I think it should be like 50-50 or close to 50-50 (like 55-45) but keeping it in balance so neither tends to seem needy

[Asker]

If you don't think a guy should do all the work, what would you consider the "part" that you do?

How many girls do you know that actually chase guys instead of being chased?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't really know :[ I never dated or liked anyone enough to chase after them so I'm not really sure what's the part that I would do, but I kinnda ment that they should both show interest 50-50

2 out of 9 girls I know well enough to talk about

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Girls don't chase guys but they should. Sometimes rarely they do, but almost never. They have the stupid mindset of "It makes people believe we're desperate!" when no guy thinks that. Especially no guy worthwhile will think that about you. If anyone thinks that about you it'll be other girls and f*** them, they're just mad you are getting guys and they're being stupid just playing the "oh come to me" game.

But really, if both are interested, both should just be honest and say it.

[acka72]

It is a mixture. However, the guy has to initiate and ask on a first date etc. The girl however has to show the guy she is interested so that the guy can ask her out on a date without risking his manhood to get torn off into itty bitty shreds of rejection. Its a bird dance that requires the collaboration of both without denying nature.

[Asker]

Thanks and I agree. However I originally had intended to find out the number of girls who DO make the first move and actually initiate things versus letting the guy make the first move. I know they're out there, but I also know that what you describe is far more common.

[azwethinkweiz82]

I don't chase guys, but lately I'm showing interest to this guy but still I'm playing safe. I don't want to act so desperate, I want it to be friendly first. But if there's no progress, I just leave it as is if he's not interested. But the guy should do the chasing then both.

[Anonymous]

I think that both should chase. My current boyfriend is a bit shy and bit oblivious to hints so when we first started dating it took a large amount of chasing before he FINALLY asked me out.

I think that girls need to be fair and show when they're interested and not be afraid to chase what they want. But if they do all the work that's not really fair either.

There is something to be said for the thrill of the chase for guys. :)

[Toxic]

As someone with a stalker, yes. They do. In hallways. Parking lots. Town Fireworks. She's persistent.

[Mahtaazh]

I never chase guys But I don't think the guy should do all the work, I mean If I like a guy I would talk to him ar kinda flirt with Him so he understands that I like him and ask for my number,and after dating I think it's 50-50 to

[malekoniky]

I am surprised right now by results. I am the only one (out of three) that think that girls don't chase guys. WOW

[Asker]

If I were to vote I'd agree with you, based on my personal experience and what I've learned over the years. Girls do sometimes chase guys, but it seems to me to be a rare case.

[Anonymous]

well I use to chase guys... but then I just figured it was a waste of time wen they have no interest in you whatsoever. I just gave up... and it seems like I'm just too desperate... so watever.. I'll just let things be.. and let the guys do it .

[Guytalks]

I have chased girls and I have been chased, it all depends on the circumstances but I'd say men chasing women is more prevalent

[cuteLiLbunny]

well I'm doing almost all the chasing, mostly because its taking him to long to work up the courage to do anything

[cerse]

yes they do witch is not a bad thing because if it wasn't for my wife coming to me we might not be together now because I'm very shy

[moviedude714]

I find it surprising on that poll in which it says that the vast majority of men prefer to do the asking, I thought it was because they have no choice, they have to adapt to it

[Asker]

It's probably a little of both, that men prefer to do the asking and that they don't really have a choice not to.

[moviedude714]

yeah because I do it because I have to not because I want to

[JenniferBrown]

Both girls and guys chase. But, these days I'm seeing much more girls chasing guys. I don't what's going with guys. Wake up! :)

[Lemonjacket]

I don't chase. I replace.

[crushsodacan]

If he's Hot... Heck yes!

[Vaeth]

i don't chase.

my ego doesn't allow it.

[kkandbb]

C, I've never chased though.

[mysteryyy]

i never chase a guy. that's men's duty

[Thiezz]

It's men's duty to chase guys? :p

[Phoenix52]

You're only saying that sh*t because you think you're so hot and irresistible. Nice pics and all, but you'd better bring more to the table than just your looks.

[mysteryyy]

You think you are smart, don't you... But you don't know me to judge me

[Hartmut]

I'll just say that you're not really presenting the best case for yourself. For instance, why do you believe it's solely the guy's job to chase? What does that mean from the standpoint of gender equality?

[MsJuleya]

oh yeah girls cahse guys all the time :)

[moviedude714]

some do but the overwhelming vast majority do not

[Anonymous]

I think it can go both ways like 50 50.

[Hartmut]

More like 80/20 on the guy's side. It's a damn sight more than previous generations, but Western society is still trying to get its head around the whole 'girls initiating' thing properly.

[phil2]

i vote c

[rokrchik20]

only one word: yes

[Shadoww]

picked C

[halogod44]

c is the best