Why am I only attracted to persistent guys?

[Anonymous]

I hate traditional 'flirting' - this whole idea that the girl should give the guy 'signals' and 'encouragement' like eye contact and smiling, so that he'll come talk to her. I believe that I shouldn't have to play games like this - if a guy wants my number and really likes me, he can approach me without any 'signals'. Whenever I see a guy checking me out, even if I think he's really cute I'll always avoid making eye contact and pretend not to see him, as I want him to PERSIST. But they almost always give up. Literally only one guy (yep, just one) in the past three years has approached me anyway. I wasn't even that attracted to him at first, but because he wouldn't take no for an answer, he really grew on me. Things didn't work out, but I have no idea when I'll ever meet a guy like that again lol. Does anyone else experience this?

[serious]

You are the one who doesn't show interest. You are not being straightforward. Hence naturally a man who notices this will think that you are playing mind games and so will naturally give up. Men don't want to waste time with a woman who believes in playing mind games with men.

Instead they would be go for a woman who would readily display interest if they take effort.

Nothing wrong if you want a man to chase you or for a man to take first initiatives but if you are going to pretend you don't like them or pretend to show disinterest while hiding your real feelings or thoughts then of course a man would give up because you are the ones who is playing games.

Don't expect a real man to waste his time and keep chasing you if you are not going to be genuine about showing interest. Hence the bottom line is if you are interested then show interest and appreciate a man's effort and if you are not then show your disinterest but don't play hard to get and don't pretend as if you are not interested when in real you are testing them.

That's what I can say.

[Barbaric]

Are you shy or something? Because if so maybe this is just a way of justifying the way you act to yourself. If not, I don't know. But it's not really working for you is it?

It shouldn't be a shock that things didn't really work with the guy you were never that into in the first place - it might have worked with the guys you thought were cute but refused to even make eye contact with. You're pretty much shooting yourself in the foot.

Today especially, many fewer men will be willing to do that. Women constantly talk about creepy guys hitting on them and how annoying it is, sometimes scary even, to deal with men who don't take no for an answer. In fact many would call that harassment. It might have been normal in the past for men to pursue like that but today men are discouraged from being persistent by this. That's partly why it won't work.

[CapricornHoney]

You said you don’t want to play games, yet you are playing the “hard to get” game here with guys. Guys aren’t going to waste their time with someone who’s playing hard to get when there are plenty of other girls out there who won’t do that

[JimboGB]

You beat me too it.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I've approached girls without waiting for a "signal". The odds of her sending one, AND me actually catching it... are pretty slim. When girls do send "signals", they're usually pretty subtle, and guys often miss the subtle stuff. So yeah I think guys should at least be WILLING to approach without looking for a signal. After all, if he's confident, then why would he wait to get her "permission" to approach her?

Having said that, it really wouldn't hurt your chances if you just gave guys a little something to work with. It takes two to tango, and you're more likely to attract the guys you like... if you project just a little more warmth and openness in their direction. It takes you maybe a couple seconds out of your life to give some eye contact or flash a smile. It's not "playing games", it's just basic nonverbal communication. The fact no other guy approached you in three years is maybe a sign that your current paradigm of "ignoring men into liking me" isn't really working.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I mean really, is it more fun to sit around staring at your feet, when you could be scoping out a hot guy and beckoning him to come and seduce you? I'm just not sure what you gain from social avoidance.

[Jonasindia]

You are way too " hard to get". If you don't like the "game" that's fine. If you were more approachable you wouldn't be so disappointed that nobody approaches you. You seem to think that being friendly and nice is some kind of "capitulation" to flirting. Being friendly and nice isn't a sell out. It's an opportunity to meet people who are friendly and nice. It's not fair to put someone through rigorous testing in order to make small talk with you. Relax and meet people where they are. You won't have a problem distinguishing the good guys from the assholes if you meet them halfeay.

[winterfox10]

"Just one..." I'm shocked that you had any at all. What kind of logic are you using that you think any half way respectful guy would approach a woman who doesn't seem like she wants him to approach? Guys who ignore the "I'm not noticing you" signs are the same kinds of guys who live by the words "No means Yes."

[Madhatter920]

From a guy's perspective, you want at least some kind of hint that the advance is actually wanted. If the girl doesn't seem welcoming, she probably wants to be left alone. You don't want to come across as a creep.

[Anonymous]

This is fucking hilarious! You don't like playing games and yet you are one of the biggest game players of all. lol

[Silence00]

Once upon a time, I really believed in innocence of a girl.

[Meatunnel69]

You will only attract narcissists this way

[COMMODOREII]

Ill take on that challenge. 😂😂