How would you feel if someone in a position of authority flirted with you?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

They can be a police officer, a medical official, your boss or professor, etc.

If it actually happened to you, share your experience.

[MsMusic]

So this literally just happened to me, and is still happening now.

06/02/2020 I was having an emotional moment and pulled into a parking lot to cry and have my moment, at 3am after work. Some Karen called the cops on me, said I was running people off the road and such. Like Karen, it's 3am in a white suburb and no one but you is awake, I'm parked in an empty parking lot, but noo I'm running people off the road. OKAY KAREN.

So I'm there, balling my eyes out, when all of a sudden 4 police cars had surrounded me without my knowledge and lit my car up like a Christmas tree when they all turned their lights on at the same time. This is also very close to when the riots in my city started.

They all stepped out of their cars and just fucking stared at me for a few minutes, I had my mask on, my work hat still on, I'm in a black tshirt from work, I'm a white woman dressed in all black and all you can see is my teary eyes haha. One finally approached me, as I'm sitting in the car with my hands out of my window. another one follows. He asked me "what's wrong, what are you doing out here this late"? I told them what was wrong, and everything on my mind lately. 3 or 4 more cops walked up to listen. They stayed until I had calmed down a bit and then left me alone. The first cop stayed and gave me his snapchat. He said there was another place I could go for more privacy, and said I could snapchat him if I wanted the cops to leave me in peace.

[MsMusic]

So I snapchat him and told him I had gone to the place he recommended. and then he said he was there, and about to go for a walk on the track. SO here I am, 4 in the morning now, pitch dark, walking around a high school track with a cop the day after I was all FTP. And now walks at 3-4 am while he's on shift and after I leave work are a normal thing. Nothing has progressed yet, but he's been hitting on me. And I've responded to it. I'm okay with it happening and progressing if it does, but it is literally the craziest thing. We've been on 3 walks or so now. All because I was Karened. (I created that word. credit to me.)

[Sbgirl]

Depends on the situation I was in, how much older they were and how they went about it.

My former manager flirted with me. I didn't really care all that much but I don't think it was exactly very professional of him. The reason I didn't care was because he was only a year younger than me and wasn't creepy about it. It was just lighthearted fun with no intention of anything to happen. Plus, I knew him before he was my manager. He flirted with me then and I just went along with it. It was never really serious. When he did become my manager, I think he struggled with it. He would either ignore me or avoid eye contact else he would fall back into being flirtatious, like he couldn't help it. It was a little unprofessional, but wasn't all that bad.

If someone like say, one of my university professors flirted with me, I would be appalled. You look up to professors and it would put you in a position where you'd feel you have to put up with it for your grades. Also, they are more likely to be far older than you and come off as creepy/pervy. This kind of thing can happen in the work environment too.

In terms of police officers, etc. it would depend on the situation. If they pulled me over for a random check and flirted a little, don't think I would really care. If I was in trouble and needed their help, then a big no no.

[dc-refugee]

And on that last example, totally illegal I might add.

[Kurαȷ]

Well, there is a big difference between someone who is my superior at work and a teacher or a doctor.

If it was my superior at work, I would feel uncomfortable, because I would feel like they are leveraging their superiority and that I'm in a position where I have more to lose.

If it was a teacher, a doctor or a police officer, I would actually feel like they are jeopardizing their position by committing inappropriate conduct, that they have much more to lose from that situation than me.

And that is a situation I would actually find very attractive and entertain as a result, because they are basically relinquishing control.

[SirRexington]

If it was a cop is be suspicious and intimidated. To be fair I'm suspicious whenever anyone flirts with me cause it doesn't happen a lot and a couple times it has happened it was due to a "prank" or dare.

If a boss did I'd be eager to try and see how flirtatious I could get them. That way I could try to take advantage of the situation to get me a better position.

If a nurse or a doctor flirted with Mr I'd probably try to flirt back and see if we could have uh, an inspection of one another.

[AmandaYVR]

I'd be fine with it.
I don't think relationships should be sanctioned one way or another. We have free will.
Any professional relationship should be initially treated with respect, but I think it's fine to (after business is done) take it personal, if both people have any interest.

[Knuxx]

Unfortunately with business your personal opinion does not matter. it's the opinions of others around you and their perception of what is that will drive the way things will be handled.
Personally I agree with you but and wish most people luck but I have seen people fired for "fraternization".

[AmandaYVR]

@Knuxx Yeah, I know, there's a lot of strict rules. It depends on the nature of the business and if we are talking peers, clients, or civilians/general public.
Companies can set whatever rules they want, but I think it should never be illegal or even improper for coworkers to date. It's not of the company's business, actually. But they think it will create a more stable work environment (and that may be true, but you can't control people and what they do in their private time. If they maintain professionalism at work, bugger off.)
With clients, yeah, dicey.
I might have an inkling of the type of context Jean-Marie is talking about, but that's his business (and I'm only guessing), but I'd say yes to that as well.
People in a position of authority like a police officer... that could get the City in a lot of trouble I guess. Watch the movie Magnolia. Very awkward, yet interesting take on a cop asking out a woman who called 911. Inappropriate, but sweet.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

No differently than any other profession, really.

[SueShe]

Hi Jean-Marie,

I believe someone found your question interesting because he could not help but asking the same question a few hours later

Random question?

Goes to show that plagiarism is a compliment to a good question.

As for my reply, I personally would not like it of course but I will leave my answer to that short sentence.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you for pointing that out to me!
I actually believe it's the second or third time this happens, and it's always funny because the original question (mine) gets 40+ answers, while the plagiarized ones barely get any lol.
I guess you are right that plagiarism is a compliment.

How are you? I hope you are well and safe and that everything is going alright for you!

[SueShe]

Good to have you back. I am doing well and I hope you do as well and that this pandemic has left you and your loved ones unharmed.

[adamjanovic]

A few years ago, I got pulled over for having a tail light out (which I was unaware of), and, I swear to God, the cop offered to let me off the hook if I gave him a blow job! I said no, so he gave me a $550 ticket. The cost of a new tail light is $30, by the way. I know a lot of cops are very decent people, but they have their fair share of a**holes too.

[BruceJender]

#Doubt

[BruceJender]

And you didn’t think about pressing charges? Lol

[adamjanovic]

No witnesses, it would have been my word against his, and who do you think they’d believe? Not me. That’s what my best friend, who’s a lawyer told me. She got my ticket reduced considerably for me, though.

[hawtsauce987]

The only scenario where it's okay to castrate someone.

[adamjanovic]

Yeah, but then I’d be thrown in jail.

[hawtsauce987]

Touche... Get suuuper specific with him.
Tell him you have a job for him... blow up your front driver's side tire. With nothing but his lungs.
Blowjob.

[MrNameless]

holy shit. That is disgusting. Sorry you went through that. Not that you would need it, but have you considered getting a dash cam?

[hawtsauce987]

That's true. Solid evidence is better than a guilty conscience. A monster like that wouldn't be able to mess with a woman like yourself and get away with it.

[adamjanovic]

I didn’t have a dash cam then, but I would definitely consider getting one now.

[serious]

Doesn’t matter I wouldn’t appreciate that. I will excuse myself and leave that place.

Once or twice I will just ignore their attempts but if they persist then I will tell them upfront that I would want them to stop once and for all.

Just because they have the authority doesn’t mean I will let them flirt with me.

[Adam1978]

I had a female boss flirting with me. I completely ignored her attempts. I don't want someone that decide my work life in my love life. Especially if it goes south. I however only consider people who can impact my life so a police women would only be a issue if I had a tendency to commit crimes. Which I don't so they can flirt with me if they feel like it. Hasn't happened, very little contact with female police or police at all for that matter. Same goes for doctors.

[kaylaS91]

If they just flirted with me, that’s technically okay as.. freedom of expression?

As long as that don’t use their ‘position of authority’ (cop? Or just higher seniority than me in my workplace?) as leverage to get me to do something. If they choose to do so, good thing that all it takes is a quick email/phone call to the union in order to get this person on probation.

[CubsterShura]

I would try to ensure they don't cross any boundaries or break rules during work time. But I personally don't mind the idea of dating a colleague if I actually like him, but I won't let that affect my work. I would rather talk about it after work or during the holidays.

[Dongtai]

It depends on their vibe and maturity level. If they’re mature enough to handle a possible breakup or rejection, I don’t mind. I’ll like it if I’m attracted to them.

But if they’re immature and have bad integrity I would worry about them using their position to make things hard for me. Especially if I wasn’t attracted to them. Even if I was attracted to them I’d feel a little uncomfortable because if they don’t get their way, again, they could make work hard for me

[Dihiya]

Actually it happend to me twice in highschool with my french teacher and in university with my English teacher (although the later was a bit tochy feely and the most irritating of the 2) I was annoyed bc I couldn't cut them off or give them the cold shoulder, tough i wasn't scared since even if they gave me a "zero" I would still have passed with compensation.

[youknowbetter]

If she has the power to harm me if I decline I would be very uncomfortable with it. Even if I'm attracted to her and we get involved, if something goes wrong she might use her power against me. That's scary.

I think some women are okay with this IF they attracted to the authority figure. But most men don't like being in a position of subservience. Most WOMEN don't like subservient men whether they admit it or not.

[_SOARER]

I had a professor who flirted with me. She made me extremely uncomfortable.

I also had a teacher in high school who used to flirt and even suggested I break up with my girlfriend because "You need a real woman" talk about cringe.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

"You need a real woman" - I had no someone pull this on me and all I can think is that if they have to say that they are a real man/woman, they actually aren't.

[_SOARER]

Yeah this teacher was very immature.
I did find her attractive but I would never be so crass.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I found out that some attractive people can be really vulgar. Maybe they think their appearance makes up for their attitutide.
By the way, how have you been?
I haven't seen you in a while around here.

[_SOARER]

Been better, but I am grateful. I broke up with my girlfriend a few days ago. I am happy to still see you here

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I'm sorry you broke up, I hope you are doing alright.
Thank you, I'm here on and off, sometimes I take breaks.

[_SOARER]

Thank you for asking.
I am fine because I know its what is best for both of us

Well I am glad I logged back on when you are off break 😁

[Anonymous]

Depends on his motive. I’m good at detecting just how far they’ll go with it. If it’s friendly flirty and he has a wicked since of humor, I’ll flirt back. No touching my shoulder, rubbing up against me allowed or I’ll make nonverbal gestures that you’re too close to my bubble. If that doesn’t work, I’ll leave or report it.

[Opinion Owner]

I’ll usually just leave the company if feelings got involved.

[Opinion Owner]

To sum it up, flirting is not such a good idea to establish a professional environment.

[Anonymous]

I’m ok with it. If I’m interested I would flirt back and hopefully if I’m not interested they go away. I have an older police officer who flirts with me and comes by to visit me at work. He’s cute and acts shy around me. When he first saw me he would stare and it took him a long time to actually talk to me.

[Prettysammie]

I go on a lot of dates and flirt a lot. So I guess I never notice if they are in a position of authority. The bar I worked at everyone dated everyone including the managers and owners. I dated the owner of the gym I go to for a long time. He got me my job there later. The only drama was when I went out with a couple of trainers and he got jealous, but we were never exclusive.

[mooky06]

Several doctors, security guards, Male nurses and managers of big companies.

I really don’t care. People flirt in general. Just because they’re in a high position means nothing to me. Underneath all that.. they’re still a person

[Natashakir72]

Omg I was checked at the airport by this gorgeous black guy and I could swear he padded me down a little extra I'll never forget him ... I'm still angry he didn't bring me out back for a thorough inspection... I mean airline security is important after all... I hate myself for not slipping him my cell number or something I look for him every time I fly and if I see him again...

[dc-refugee]

TSA are barely above mall cop. They spend their days pouring out old ladies water bottles and sifting through underwear. But definitely go git you that brother next time round.

[Natashakir72]

@dc-refugee honey I will I will. I fly out of there regularly and I always scout the grounds for him, but he wasn't on duty since. He had so intense hazel eyes they burned right into my soul. I'm just scared maybe i imagine it was more than it was or whatever and he could be married I don't know... imma take a chance no matter what thou ... just we gotta get this covid and floyd thing over with first I guess.

[CheoM]

I would feel uncomfortable if someone in a position of authority flirted with me. I wouldn't flirt back either.

I wouldn't like it and would ignore the flirting or try to 'dodge' it (by changing the subject of the conversation, or by making an excuse to leave) if it gets too far.

[Anonymous]

A police woman may be a little hot, but anyone directly over me or operating on me would be awkward. If I were attracted to my boss, I would try to transfer or quit and then seek a relationship. A nurse near me, but not assigned, I would probably flirt with.

[websterII]

time to get a spy cam.. record it.. and sue the shit out of the abuser. and their company. its flat out wrong to push yourself on someone you have power over. even if they are willing.