How would you feel if someone in a position of authority flirted with you?

Question

They can be a police officer, a medical official, your boss or professor, etc. If it actually happened to you, share your experience.

MsMusic · Accepted Answer

So this literally just happened to me, and is still happening now.

06/02/2020 I was having an emotional moment and pulled into a parking lot to cry and have my moment, at 3am after work. Some Karen called the cops on me, said I was running people off the road and such. Like Karen, it's 3am in a white suburb and no one but you is awake, I'm parked in an empty parking lot, but noo I'm running people off the road. OKAY KAREN.

So I'm there, balling my eyes out, when all of a sudden 4 police cars had surrounded me without my knowledge and lit my car up like a Christmas tree when they all turned their lights on at the same time. This is also very close to when the riots in my city started.

They all stepped out of their cars and just fucking stared at me for a few minutes, I had my mask on, my work hat still on, I'm in a black tshirt from work, I'm a white woman dressed in all black and all you can see is my teary eyes haha. One finally approached me, as I'm sitting in the car with my hands out of my window. another one follows. He asked me "what's wrong, what are you doing out here this late"? I told them what was wrong, and everything on my mind lately. 3 or 4 more cops walked up to listen. They stayed until I had calmed down a bit and then left me alone. The first cop stayed and gave me his snapchat. He said there was another place I could go for more privacy, and said I could snapchat him if I wanted the cops to leave me in peace.

Sbgirl · Accepted Answer

Depends on the situation I was in, how much older they were and how they went about it.

My former manager flirted with me. I didn't really care all that much but I don't think it was exactly very professional of him. The reason I didn't care was because he was only a year younger than me and wasn't creepy about it. It was just lighthearted fun with no intention of anything to happen. Plus, I knew him before he was my manager. He flirted with me then and I just went along with it. It was never really serious. When he did become my manager, I think he struggled with it. He would either ignore me or avoid eye contact else he would fall back into being flirtatious, like he couldn't help it. It was a little unprofessional, but wasn't all that bad.

If someone like say, one of my university professors flirted with me, I would be appalled. You look up to professors and it would put you in a position where you'd feel you have to put up with it for your grades. Also, they are more likely to be far older than you and come off as creepy/pervy. This kind of thing can happen in the work environment too.

In terms of police officers, etc. it would depend on the situation. If they pulled me over for a random check and flirted a little, don't think I would really care. If I was in trouble and needed their help, then a big no no.

Kurαȷ · Accepted Answer

Well, there is a big difference between someone who is my superior at work and a teacher or a doctor.

If it was my superior at work, I would feel uncomfortable, because I would feel like they are leveraging their superiority and that I'm in a position where I have more to lose.

If it was a teacher, a doctor or a police officer, I would actually feel like they are jeopardizing their position by committing inappropriate conduct, that they have much more to lose from that situation than me.

And that is a situation I would actually find very attractive and entertain as a result, because they are basically relinquishing control.

SirRexington · Accepted Answer

If it was a cop is be suspicious and intimidated. To be fair I'm suspicious whenever anyone flirts with me cause it doesn't happen a lot and a couple times it has happened it was due to a "prank" or dare.

If a boss did I'd be eager to try and see how flirtatious I could get them. That way I could try to take advantage of the situation to get me a better position.

If a nurse or a doctor flirted with Mr I'd probably try to flirt back and see if we could have uh, an inspection of one another.

AmandaYVR · Answer

I'd be fine with it.
I don't think relationships should be sanctioned one way or another. We have free will.
Any professional relationship should be initially treated with respect, but I think it's fine to (after business is done) take it personal, if both people have any interest.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

No differently than any other profession, really.

SueShe · Answer

Hi Jean-Marie,

I believe someone found your question interesting because he could not help but asking the same question a few hours later

Random question?

Goes to show that plagiarism is a compliment to a good question.

As for my reply, I personally would not like it of course but I will leave my answer to that short sentence.

adamjanovic · Answer

A few years ago, I got pulled over for having a tail light out (which I was unaware of), and, I swear to God, the cop offered to let me off the hook if I gave him a blow job! I said no, so he gave me a $550 ticket. The cost of a new tail light is $30, by the way. I know a lot of cops are very decent people, but they have their fair share of a**holes too.

serious · Answer

Doesn’t matter I wouldn’t appreciate that. I will excuse myself and leave that place.

Once or twice I will just ignore their attempts but if they persist then I will tell them upfront that I would want them to stop once and for all.

Just because they have the authority doesn’t mean I will let them flirt with me.

Adam1978 · Answer

I had a female boss flirting with me. I completely ignored her attempts. I don't want someone that decide my work life in my love life. Especially if it goes south. I however only consider people who can impact my life so a police women would only be a issue if I had a tendency to commit crimes. Which I don't so they can flirt with me if they feel like it. Hasn't happened, very little contact with female police or police at all for that matter. Same goes for doctors.

kaylaS91 · Answer

If they just flirted with me, that’s technically okay as.. freedom of expression?

As long as that don’t use their ‘position of authority’ (cop? Or just higher seniority than me in my workplace?) as leverage to get me to do something. If they choose to do so, good thing that all it takes is a quick email/phone call to the union in order to get this person on probation.

CubsterShura · Answer

I would try to ensure they don't cross any boundaries or break rules during work time. But I personally don't mind the idea of dating a colleague if I actually like him, but I won't let that affect my work. I would rather talk about it after work or during the holidays.

Dongtai · Answer

It depends on their vibe and maturity level. If they’re mature enough to handle a possible breakup or rejection, I don’t mind. I’ll like it if I’m attracted to them.

But if they’re immature and have bad integrity I would worry about them using their position to make things hard for me. Especially if I wasn’t attracted to them. Even if I was attracted to them I’d feel a little uncomfortable because if they don’t get their way, again, they could make work hard for me

Dihiya · Answer

Actually it happend to me twice in highschool with my french teacher and in university with my English teacher (although the later was a bit tochy feely and the most irritating of the 2) I was annoyed bc I couldn't cut them off or give them the cold shoulder, tough i wasn't scared since even if they gave me a "zero" I would still have passed with compensation.

Prettysammie · Answer

I go on a lot of dates and flirt a lot. So I guess I never notice if they are in a position of authority. The bar I worked at everyone dated everyone including the managers and owners. I dated the owner of the gym I go to for a long time. He got me my job there later. The only drama was when I went out with a couple of trainers and he got jealous, but we were never exclusive.

youknowbetter · Answer

If she has the power to harm me if I decline I would be very uncomfortable with it. Even if I'm attracted to her and we get involved, if something goes wrong she might use her power against me. That's scary.

I think some women are okay with this IF they attracted to the authority figure. But most men don't like being in a position of subservience. Most WOMEN don't like subservient men whether they admit it or not.

_SOARER · Answer

I had a professor who flirted with me. She made me extremely uncomfortable.

I also had a teacher in high school who used to flirt and even suggested I break up with my girlfriend because "You need a real woman" talk about cringe.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on his motive. I’m good at detecting just how far they’ll go with it. If it’s friendly flirty and he has a wicked since of humor, I’ll flirt back. No touching my shoulder, rubbing up against me allowed or I’ll make nonverbal gestures that you’re too close to my bubble. If that doesn’t work, I’ll leave or report it.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m ok with it. If I’m interested I would flirt back and hopefully if I’m not interested they go away. I have an older police officer who flirts with me and comes by to visit me at work. He’s cute and acts shy around me. When he first saw me he would stare and it took him a long time to actually talk to me.

mooky06 · Answer

Several doctors, security guards, Male nurses and managers of big companies.

I really don’t care. People flirt in general. Just because they’re in a high position means nothing to me. Underneath all that.. they’re still a person

Natashakir72 · Answer

Omg I was checked at the airport by this gorgeous black guy and I could swear he padded me down a little extra I'll never forget him ... I'm still angry he didn't bring me out back for a thorough inspection... I mean airline security is important after all... I hate myself for not slipping him my cell number or something I look for him every time I fly and if I see him again...

CheoM · Answer

I would feel uncomfortable if someone in a position of authority flirted with me. I wouldn't flirt back either.

I wouldn't like it and would ignore the flirting or try to 'dodge' it (by changing the subject of the conversation, or by making an excuse to leave) if it gets too far.

Anonymous · Answer

A police woman may be a little hot, but anyone directly over me or operating on me would be awkward. If I were attracted to my boss, I would try to transfer or quit and then seek a relationship. A nurse near me, but not assigned, I would probably flirt with.

websterII · Answer

time to get a spy cam.. record it.. and sue the shit out of the abuser. and their company. its flat out wrong to push yourself on someone you have power over. even if they are willing.

Phoenix98 · Answer

When it comes to coworkers especially those in positions of authority I distance myself from it as much as possible it's a big no for me.

In regards to people I'm not working with or alongside of then it's not as big of a deal.

blueglitter · Answer

I don't think I should weigh in here. But many years ago I flirted with a cute guy in office. He was a trainee. We went for movies and dinner a few times. But I wanted him to take take the lead and he was a bit shy or scared. So I stopped seeing him

Thomas__Shelby · Answer

I wouldn’t do anything about it, and if they were attractive, I wouldn’t unwelcome it either. To be honest, it’s better for a guy to be in this position than a girl.

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

Police officer? Probably show him/her instantly that I'm not interested in him/her I would be totally fine with the other ones, and probably feel complimented/turned on

tartaarsaus · Answer

Uncomfortable. The probability of me reacting in a weird way by either bulldozing the attempts to flirt or do some extremely bad flirting is 100%, and I don’t want the annoying situation where I piss off a person in power.

Kreneman · Answer

For me now, as long as I am single, I don't mind it at all especially if they started flirting with me first. There's beautiful women in all types of business positions and I am not uncomfortable or intimidated if they're Police officers, Medical officials, my boss, Attorney, Jugde, Politicians or even President of the United States. Usually when a woman flirts with me and I pursue them means, there's trust, maturity, respect, attraction, and be responsible.

JackieJaii · Answer

I'd feel flattered as long as it was respectful. If it's too the degree of groping or cat calling then hands will be thrown

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

I would shut it down professionally. I’m not intimidated by anyone because of their title. My rules still stands.

RickPen · Answer

Had a boss flirt with me once. I didn't return the affection, and was unceremoniously fired the next day without warning or notice.

1828avaava1828 · Answer

I’ve had it happen. I was slightly confused at first, but then I realized what was going on. I stayed polite and tiptoed around and out of the situation

theguyghail · Answer

I had an off duty police offw flirt with me, i was extremely embarrassed but also made me smile like an idiot for the rest of the day

DizzyDesii · Answer

Nah i dont want them going on a powertrip and using my job or something as leverage

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

There was a lady in her early twenties in the catering service at a party who flirted with me, I just smiled back at her, didn't talk to her much.

Anonymous · Answer

Happening to me now. My chief exec keeps coming to my desk, his eyes shiny, smiling like a goof ball, soft voice. I am enjoying it and would like to see where it goes, but I am a private person and it's a an open office. Lol, it's going to be funny when everyone is back to work - he's being so obvious. I am worried a bit about gossip, but this is a really organic, sweet connection.

tiajoka · Answer

Makes me feel pretty awkward. I can't be sure if they're serious or not, and then I feel silly for thinking they did. But then I feel bad if I was rude about their flirting also if they actually were. And because of my flusteredness I get really weird and shy/socially awkward... It just causes a lot of anxiety. I mean, for sure it can be flattering. But typically speaking it's not worth the panic attack. But that goes for bot guys also so maybe I'm just broken lol.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Never happened to me, but it'd be flattering, especially if they were hot.

The_FallenOne · Answer

I would go along with it, something so attractive about a man in uniform 😍🥵

LMNOP123 · Answer

Really frickin awkward. No matter how attractive he is. Thankfully it's never happened.

Nalix · Answer

I'm pretty attracted to female authority, to be honest, but I keep thing professional, especially since I'm married.

pleasestopthis · Answer

It just feels like they are taking advantage of their position to get whatever they want. It turns me off.

4evernessa · Answer

I'd personally be scared I might feel forced into a relationship to avoid drama. I might feel happy though that someone like that would look at little old me but overall I'd probably just be intimidated

SaraSmithishere · Answer

A little grossed out. I had teachers flirt with me when I was a kid and a teen. It's always a power play.

ThisIsMyOpinion · Answer

Same as I would feel with anyone else. Unless I wouldn't trust them to keep their integrity after being rejected.

simplelikeme · Answer

in my experience never have a relationship with someone who has Authority. If it doesn't go their way they can ruin your life and it has happened to me :-( Runaway

B2281 · Answer

Hasn't happened. And if she were someone who was in position of district professional authority over me, that would be extremely unprofessional.

Now a female police officer or someone who has authority like that starts flirting with me in a social setting, I'd be open to see where it goes.

NerdInDenial · Answer

I have had my subordinates flirt with me due to my positional authority.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Wouldn't bother me as long as they're not my direct superior and they don't make it weird.

BhaniLovesMusic · Answer

I had my relationship with an active force guy, he was a pilot. He was way to polite and shy. I didn't like that. Yet there was something about him that's cute.

hawtsauce987 · Answer

It's a given that law enforcement, firefighters, EMS, etc., have this aura of importance. Exhibit A, They all ride around in flashy loud vehicles. Besides, these are the roles that a lot of us looked up to/aspired to be as children. Ig a good analogy would be categorizing it as a kink? Help me out..

TJFreshman22 · Answer

I'll still take control of the situation the moment we step inside if they want me to. I like being the one to put in work more because I like a challenge to play with

cast277 · Answer

Depending on the sex. I'd be ok with it as long as it was fun.

ccal28 · Answer

It’s never happened to me but I’d find it very sexy. I don’t know if it’s a uniform fetish or anything but it’s a turn on for sure.

Anonymous · Answer

That's funny, because my girlfriend is a police officer and she made me pull over to know me better and write down my address 😂😂😂

moonpie89 · Answer

It's never happened so it would be kind of weird for me

zagor · Answer

Fine with me. As long as they didn't hold a refusal against me.

honestGUY45 · Answer

I hate to sound like a guy, but it depends on what they look like.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

I've had it happen, it was a bit awkward. No ill will towards her but yeah, just awkward (she came on hard too which I am not accustomed to at all).

Knuxx · Answer

If she is genuinely interested and not my boss. I have no problem flirting back or more 😁

Sfffgygvnn · Answer

Well I mean, if they had an official job they're too old to be flirting with me so yes, I would feel uncomfortable.

MementoMori_ · Answer

Depends on whether she is hot or not. Yeah, I did my college Anthropology professor. She was HOT!

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