PURPOSELY Making yourself unavailable?!?! WTF!?!

[BroskiJayAre]

Now everyone knows I do a lot of reading. So, this morning, (while I was finding fresh ideas for me and my girlfriend's relationship) I came across an article entitled: "All That You Have To Do Is Make Yourself Unavailable". It caught my eye and I started to read it. It had me shocked.

I would guess that it creates that "push and pull that a relationship needs, but it's so prone to back fire! Because then shell catch on then start to play that same game. Then both parties are, for a lack of a better word, Thoroughly PISSED.

Ladies and Gentlebros, I would like to make an announcement...

Ready...(drum roll)

I'm a tease! I will admit it and scream it out over the highest hill, but never would I think about ignoring the best thing to ever happen to me. But, I guess I will try it today and see where it gets me.

I'll keep y'all updated and tell you how it worked out

But in the mean time, what do you guys think about this relationship technique?

Have you ever tried this?

How'd it workout? In your favor? Or did back fire?

Why did you even think to do this?

Thanx everyone

-BroskiJayAre

Updates

+1 y

I'm so NOT going to try this.

I thought About what I was really about to do and I figured that I'm about mess up a perfect relationship.

It's stupid how this strategy can thoroughly mess up a good relationship, but people try it anyway.

I am the happiest I've been in 6 years and I'm not about to ruin that.


Gosh now I gotta figure out how to tell my girl that I'm falling for her haha

Updates

+1 y

But I digress, people, DONT try this unless you are a pickup artist and only want sex. If you are in a committed relationship, don't do it. Why try to fix something that's not broken? It's as simple as that! Committed relationships are built on balanced predictability,trust,loyalty and ultimately, COMMUNICATION. That's the key word.


I COMMUNICATE WITH MY WOMEN.


DO YOU?


Thank you Darkfairie17 for the amazing answer and advice(:

Youre DOPE(in a good way) lol ^^

[Anonymous]

i strongly agree with this point. like I don't mean making up tease and problems into a relationship. but everyone is looking for something that is harder to get like not everyone can get it.

do you remember when we were childs, always we wanted the chocolate who was in the closet for guests or not allowed to eat, while we might had even better cookies available.

maybe its a stupid example, but its the human nature! we have a proverb in my language, I try my best to convert it to english, its like when a person " eject something with their hand but pull it back with their foot"

it brings more excitement, variety, and keep the interests up. you never can compare the tase and the enjoyment of letting you to have a chocolate of those HIGH chocolates with other things.

so you need to make the person know he/she will have one sooner or later, but you need to have them keep their tries. it makes it more exciting!

ive never tried it completely to the end, but I have pretty tried it at first. its like always guys who I take less attention to them, fall harder for me! but for sure you need to keep the required closeness always, not completely off!

the hardest and the most important part is to learn when you need to push back and when is needed to pull forward!

[Darkfairie17]

Haha that does sound kind of stupid. Why create tension in a relationship that was doing well? I agree also that you shouldn't ignore your loved one. That will only make them question the relationship and make them feel unappreciated. If you want to keep your relationship fresh, the best thing is to probably do what you are doing, research! Find stuff like maybe activities you can do with your partner that will keep things fresh. Go skydiving, go to a pottery studio, go camping, have a picnic, do something that lets you see your mate in a different light :)

That will keep the relationship fresh and strengthen it.

I think that people think this will work, maybe if that person is taking you for granted. But honesty why strain a good relationship? I have only made myself unavailable to people who I was getting to know better, to see if they were truly interested. Other than that I would never make myself unavailable in a relationship :P

[AmberChick]

"I have only made myself unavailable to people who I was getting to know better, to see if they were truly interested." Good strategy... and usually works...

[AmberChick]

In my experience, that always backfires. Let's say you really like someone and you make yourself purposefully unavailable. Next thing you know, they are with someone else or have moved on. You didn't even have the satisfaction of flirting with them or maybe even asking them out. You will never ever know if they really liked you.

Let's say you take the direct approach. That way, you at least know if they like you or not. Teasing is okay to an extent. It shows you are playful and that is fun... but you don't want to tease to the point where you make the person think you don't like them, because that usually always backfires on you.

There are some cases where you just can't have the person you like. But with the right person, they won't care that you are available- they will like that and like you. With the wrong person, it's usually where you play games...

[BroskiJayAre]

Exactly!

[Phoenix52]

I think the trick is to do this in a moderate style. Not too much or not too little. Guys and girls need their space, but too much time shared together can make things dull, as you stated (running out of things to talk about).

Same with talking to women - sometimes one of my girl 'friends' might blabber on for an hour about herself on the phone. It's not that I hate hearing from her, but I can only tolerate so much, considering I'm more of an action taker and doing things, rather than bullsh*t about god knows what.

Give the girlfriend the gift of seeing you, but also missing you when you're not around. Being too available can be an attraction killer, but so can the indefinite absence of your presence.

"I just saw him yesterday, what does he want to do now?"

"He's NEVER AROUND! DID HE DIE? WHY HASN'T HE CALLED ME?"

[BroskiJayAre]

Lmao (x

[sa230e]

Can you link the article? I've heard of this strategy before and, from what I've heard, it's exclusively meant for single guys. For guys in a relationship, I think it's a pretty bad idea.

[minx101d]

Every time a guy has pulled this on me, it has back fired since I assume it means he is not interested so I move on. In most cases I assume they were not interested but I have bumped into some who did this later and they always ask what happened to me or why we didn't work out.

[nannyb]

LET GIRLS LIVE IN DENIAL! Jeeezzzeee ha ha jk jk :P

I think its kinda stupid, a man isn't worth it if you gotta play 'mind games' to get him hooked. They should give me a column so I can girls what's what! Haha :P

[Anonymous]

it makes sense in a way being to avalible will make you seem desperate or ignoring completley uninterested

[Anonymous]

i'm actually doing this right now to someone because he is doing it to me. . . so, yeah I think it can backfire.

[Shaun]

So what's the shocking part?

[BroskiJayAre]

It shocks me how prone it is to back fire!

someone could take that big of a risk in a relationship, and then say it worked ?

My girlfriend is the best thing to ever happen to me, but we see each other so much that we run out of things to talk about. I'm really hesitant to try this, because I don't want it to back fire.

But my relationship needs and good push and pull.

[Shaun]

Well yeah, you need time apart just to have different experiences and conversation fodder, but you shouldn't have to play games in order to accomplish this. Be straight up.

[Dom163]

Maybe it's cause you keep saying bro that you are single ... Broski

[BroskiJayAre]

Oh ha-ha that's very funny!

First off, Umm that's not answering my question BROSKI (^_^)

Second of all, I have a girlfriend who I'm infatuated with so yeah...

So you can pretty much leave, because nobody invited you!

When you want to stop being a deuce and actually read the question asked, I encourage you to comeback and give this another shot.

Have a nice day!