Why hasn't he called after the SECOND date?

[jostove]

So, had 2 great dates with this guy and we really seemed to connect etc etc. He asked me out on both when we met in a bar one night and I thought he was really cocky but what the hey.

2 weeks later we went out and after the 1st he text me 3 days later and asked me out again. Great, I thought, finally a man that takes charge and even though he came across as confident he was not aggressive or self-involved at all which surprised me. Both took place in the same week even!

At the end of the date 2 he asked me up for a coffee and we started getting a little frisky - all PG, mostly just kissing. I stated clearly that I was not going to sleep with him though and he said he had a gym injury and couldn't anyway.

He walked me back to the train station and I said "You have really surprised me in that you have turned into a person I didn't expect to be in such a positive way".

He didn't reply and so I tried to explain it better and now feel like a numb nuts that I confessed this.

I text him when I got home to say goodnight and thank you and congratulations on his passing a test he had done that day. No reply.



After 3 days of silence I eventually just text him inquiring how his week was going? He responded with an okay and how was mine and my problems I was having with a manager that had come up in conversation on date 2. I replied it was all fine and haven't heard anything since. It has now been 5 days since our date and he has not asked me out again.



Did I offend him by my comment? Should I ask if I did and apologize? Should I ask HIM out and explain better? I said he is old-fashioned in his way of relationships, as in a man being a man etc which is perfect for me too so may not like it if I pursue him and don't want to come across as needy.

AAAAARGGH! I am really into him and cannot eat or sleep. I crave closure - if he's not that into me than fine, I'll just have to live with it but this waiting around is killing me! Help!

[vmw2008]

In my opinion You freaked him out with that comment. He realized you were going to start falling for him, that now you have "expectations" he may have to live up to, etc. It was scary for him. I don't think what you did was wrong, you were being honest with your feelings. His feelings just may have been different. You told him you thought highly of him, and didn't give him sex. You showed signs of looking for a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that at all, he just probably realized quickly you were both after different things, so he's on to the next girl that wants something more casual like he does.

In the future, the only things I would suggest are 1) Don't blatantly say "I'm not going to sleep with you." You can avoid that more gracefully and without making it awkward and rejecting him. It kind of says that you're trying too hard to show you're not "that kind of girl." Which ends up coming off as insecure and trying to prove something and 2)If a guy seems really cocky at first, don't tell him you think he's all that so soon. Little compliments are nice, but chances are he's hiding a part of himself, and it's better to play like you're still figuring him out for a while rather than show your hand so soon.

[BoobMan]

Could be a lot of things. Here are some options:

1) He's just busy with other things right now and hasn't had a chance to plan a 3rd date. This could be work, family stuff, friends or even rehabbing his gym injury so he can get friskier with you the next time he sees you.

2) He was also in the early stages of dating another girl or two and has decided to pursue one of them more at this stage.

3) He didn't think the relationship was progressing as he would have liked or there was something he didn't like about the second date.

And of course it could be something else. If you're really keen to see him again, just ask him out. That way you'll either get to see him or you'll find out what the deal is.

[AustinMan]

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but--He's just not that into you. You need to let him go. Take closure in his silence. If he wanted to say more, he would. There are a ton of guys out there. Go find yours.

[Shaun]

"You have really surprised me in that you have turned into a person I didn't expect to be in such a postive way"

I'd be offended.