What Should I Do Next?

[MelaninQueen21]

I approached this guy I met on campus a few months back. I walked up to him in the cafeteria while on campus. I was going to the Starbucks on campus with a friend of mine when I spotted him. He was sitting by himself on his laptop. I approached him and excused myself. I told him that I saw him and thought that he was very cute and that I had to tell him. He smiled nervously and thanked me. It got awkward, so I said it was nice meeting him and said bye!

Earlier this week, I saw him talking to a couple of guy friends of mine and I rushed down the stairs. After my guy friends were getting ready to leave and walk up the stairs, I approached him and talked with him for about 2-3 minutes. He remembered me, surprisingly. We had a nice conversation, although nervous conversation. Before we left, I asked for his name again and repeated it back so that I could remember. I also gave him my name. I told him I'll see him around and I Went back to my office. I was so excited. I didn't want to ask him out right away like that.

This past Thursday, I approached him. I asked him how he was doing and afterwards, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He replied no and that he hasn't dated in a little over a year. I then asked him if he likes coffee. He replied he doesn't really drink coffee. I then told him that icasked because I wanted to go and have coffee with him sometime and possibly go for a walk afterwards. He mentioned that he was really busy and that he has homework and works on the weekend, doing construction work, which he has told me before in our previous conversation. He also told me that he practicing for a competition that he's in. I asked what he's competing in and he said bodybuilding, which is obvious, since he has some pretty big biceps on him 😍 I then told him I didn't want to pressure him and that if he's not interested that I understand. He mentioned how busy he was but appreciates it. We said out goodbyes and parted ways.
What should I do to make him chase me?

[Yurrasis]

He sounds pretty busy or uninterested in my opinion. I don't think he's looking for a relationship at the moment either. He wouldn't chase after anyone if he wants to focus on himself at the moment. You can't really do much since he kind of rejected you by saying, "I appreciate it, but I'm busy."

Just continue your life as normal and give him space. You don't need to do something you wouldn't normally do just to get his attention. When someone likes you, they'll naturally make time for you. Just simple greetings and small chats are fine, but you don't need to offer hangouts. From what you told me, he hasn't invited you to hangout has he?

You might move on from him or find someone else, but there's no use in trying to get a guy when he claims he's not available.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you so much for your response and no, he hasn't asked me to hang out. I think he went through a pretty rough break up or had something going on in his past relationship, by the way he sounded.

I know I'll move on. It's just hard to find someone whose available, emotionally and status wise. Thank you once again.

[Yurrasis]

You're welcome, anytime. He could've went through something when he said he hasn't dated for some time. Someone will come along, but I feel you.

I've been through something similar, except I felt like the guy was *too* emotionally available. He had a rough relationship in the past and seemed too eager to date me.

I had to cut it off because he said he felt like he could spend the rest of his life with me when we've only known each other for 2 months. Didn't sound healthy at all.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Much appreciated 🙏🏽

[No_use_for_a_name]

As he mentioned that he’s busy with classes and work and bodybuilding that could be the honest truth. But if he’s really interested in you, he’d find time to hangout. That said, you may want to continue with your friendly chats and then suddenly cut chase. I know that sometimes it can make me realize how much I miss it and didn’t really know how much I appreciated that communication without knowing it until it’s gone.
Another approach you could take after continued tries if he doesn’t show interest, start showing a friend of his some attention, just talking enough to stir up some jealousy. This could also backfire and make him lose whatever interest he had for you.

[MrCommodore]

It sounds like he isn't interested, maybe because you kinds came on strong.
From my own experience, I usually run a mile if a girl approached me and is too full on and skips the subtle flirting etc.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Was I wrong for being direct or are some guys just not use to that?

[MrCommodore]

Not wrong, I admire you for being direct, and it can work sometimes. The problem with direct approach is if the guy is shy or doesn't handle it well, it can be too much for some.

[MelaninQueen21]

I get it. Thanks for your feedback.

[driven159]

if he is busy, he is not going to chase if you want him you need to go after him and not play games just bring him lunch someday that can be your date when i was in high school i was busy on racetrack on the weekends, so dating was out for the most part