How do I get a man?

Question

Other than dating apps, which don’t work for me, how do I get a man? How do I attract a good guy? I’m bad at flirting, I’m really shy, but once people get to me, I’m talkative, fun to be around. Im 26 and I want to find long lasting love.

Sasha_Gee · Accepted Answer

What I am about to suggest is probably something you're against... but, a motto I follow goes "People looking for something should do everything to find it absent complaint" and it's only brought me success and growth.

So following that rule... I wouldn't RULE OUT ;) the dating apps for (1) Because yes there are a lot of horny people on there, but just like you there are guys on there who want to look for a relationship. I would do my best to find those man on those apps and talk to them.

Now (2) Following that rule... Approach a guy that you like. How badly do you want a long lasting relationship? If you really want it, you can't just sit around and do nothing!
🙃 There are guys who are actually intimidated by the idea of approaching us. You're a shy person and if you like a shy guy, he will appreciate it very much if you make that first move. You don't have to be confident, just be you. The more you talk to people the less shy you become. Spoilers, it's not that scary.

(3) Maybe there are hobbies you do that have you interact with people? People with the same interest or PASSIONNN, it's just a match <3 or a meetup or a forum about it of people near you with that interest. Or a place you hang out often, there will be people who go there too.

Remaining Idle is not the way to go! So get up and get out there!

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

You take initiative. Try and converse with men around you, get to know them, plan dates.  It’s not always gonna be a success, you just have to keep trying. Dating apps can work, but rarely..

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well first keep in mind that this is very hard these days, no matter who you are, so I'm not saying it's impossible or anything, but at the same time, don't have your expectations too high. Or worse, get with the wrong person/relationship so you can say you have one (some "settle" or get "desperate", it's not worth it in the long run, you can be single and perfectly happy). But second, try to over come your shyness to some extent. Don't wait for guys to approach (some of us are exactly like you are, it's no different). Especially if you like someone, at least go up to him and say hi and try to strike up a conversation (don't make it extra stressful on yourself by "how do I flirt?" etc, just pretend it's a friend and make it casual). This shows interest (not "desperation" like some women think). And if he also likes you and is shy, this might help give him the courage to ask you out. So bottom line, you have to put in some "effort" also. And remember my first point, it's hard these days to find anyone, for just about everyone, so don't get too discouraged. Good luck!

HighlyVolatile · Accepted Answer

It helps to flirt (can do little touches, just pay very close attention when talking, etc) and let guys you like know that you're interested. If you're really bold, you can pass them your phone number.

It also helps to be a part of an expanding social circle where you get to hang out with a good variety of people regularly as well as meet new ones they introduce to the group.

That's how I met my wife (she was a friend of a friend I met at a picnic) and also how my sister met her husband (he was a friend of a friend she met at her home party). It helps to have that sort of expanding social circle/community, and it's also way more satisfying that way because you not only find potential love interests but also friends for life.

jestergent · Answer

Just ask them a bunch of annoying questions the first day. Let their friends or himself be confused why you are so annoying. On day two, ask a bunch a questions. Just non dating ones.

Make sure to smile on brief distance eye contact.

Step 3)
Ask a bunch of questions. on day 3.

If you are able to notice him slowly... grow more interest and be friendly to you, and not get annoyed by the attention eventually...

Get brave. Go for it. Ask the real question. Date?

Also accept rejection sometimes. But if he's not getting annoyed and instead slowly talking more to you, it's good enough, go for it.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Being a guy who doesn't have any problems attracting women, I would say the key thing is be approachable.
It's true you have no idea at first who you want approaching you and who you don't, but it costs nothing to sit and chat with someone even if you don't find them attractive. People can really surprise you once you get talking.

Pohjolan · Answer

You don't want to use dating apps, don't want to flirt, don't want to initiate but want a good guy?

I suppose apart from wallflowering all that is left is asking your friends/family to introduce you to someone.

In_Trance · Answer

You have to get good at the things you're bad at, and make the effort to put yourself out there and talk to guys

DownIndaDumpz · Answer

That's easy. All you gotta do is look good and bam. A guy likes you. I wish it was that easy for guys. I look decent but I've been rejected 10000 times. 😭😭 Be glad you're a girl lol

How do I get a man?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How do I get a man?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.