Age 20, have been single for a year. I just got my own place with a room mate, working, and have my own dog. I feel like I could live this way forever without a man and focusing on myself. I don’t want this forever; at least, that’s not the preference despite the fact that I could very well be happy on my own forever.
What attracts you to a woman most, say in this age and time of life? Just curious!
High school was so different. I usually noticed someone (or someone noticing me) through sports or in class (still have class in college, but it feels different ). Or even youth group. But times have changed.
And I just realized I’m not a kid anymore- wha
(P. S. here is the cutest frog / toad i ever caught and released!! )
What is the most attractive thing about an “independent woman”?
I'm 25. 19 year old girls like me a lot more than they used to because I have a beard and an income. But I like them less because they don't understand or relate to what my life is like.
A girl who works, pays her bills, has a house and takes care of a dog gets what it's like to have responsibilities, she gets that I have to work hard for what I have. She doesn't need me to do everything for her and she will appreciate the effort I put in to take her out or buy her gifts.
But most of all, she's going somewhere in life. I don't want a sack of rocks I have to carry with me. I want a partner, a team mate, someone who has their own dreams and goals and someone who can have my back on mine.
Kids don't understand "I have to work so I can feed my cat" but a lady who does it herself will see that as a plus and not a problem.
And then of course, there is the fact that I don't have to worry about her parents. She's an adult, she has her own place and her own car. Nuff said on that one.
I heard a comedian say so much changes for women between 20 and 30. At 20 they want to experiment and have fun but by 30 they want a life and a family and that's reflected in their dating habits.
I want someone who's done their experimenting and wants to build something that lasts. It took me years to build my old motorcycle myself but I'll have it my whole life. I wasn't interested in a cheap rental. I wanted one I could invest my time and effort into and not have to start over.
Girls who go out and work and support themselves get that. They are much more likely to be looking for the same thing. Girls who ride on someone else's work are just going to bail as soon as someone else comes along.
So really, in short, the most attractive thing about an independent lady is that she could be a partner and a team mate that lasts. Someone who can't or won't pull their own weight is only going to slow me down. Someone who can and does is going to appreciate what I do and we can do more togeather than either of us could on our own.
Thats why I have a cat. She doesn't really need me. she's here because we make eachothers lives better. When she has a rough day I help her out. And when I am tired or worn out, she picks me up and keeps me going.
Thats not just "attractive" that's the whole goal.
This dude gets it! Wise far beyond his years and most of his peers. I’m not even gonna try posting anything because he nailed it! If this doesn’t get MHO I’ll be very disappointed, or, more optimistically, super impressed at what won.
I currently am studying. I used to pull an ok salary, working at a Cov-19 vaccination centre after I completed my two years of conscripted military service, and was supplying my own needs, aside from lodging, where I was living in a flat owned by my mother. (I still live there, and the rooms get rented out so im like a surrogate landlord for my mother)
When i began my studies i was able to live off the few thousand I still had in savings for a number of months, but after I left my job, I have had to depend on my parents financially, although I do get a few bucks every now and then from working part time as a food delivery guy. Honestly I do feel bad about my parents having to depend on my parents still. They are willing, but I just feel guilty about it. Hopefully when i get back to working, I can at least be independent, get a room, pay my own rent and survive on my own.
I think independence is not governed solely by the ability to provide for oneself, but also the ability to be mature enough to face your issues and solve your own problems. For all we know, there could be people out there who are financially independent but still rely on other people in other ways.
As to what attracts me about an "independent woman" is that if she chooses me as a partner, I can be sure that she WANTS me, because she chose to be in a relationship not for the need of it but because she desires it.
I left home at 17 to go university farthest from my parents… I was on my own, making my own meals, travelling alone, living alone. Although my parents paid for my dorm and education and other expenses, they gave me a budget for me to learn how to live on it! I consider that independence at a young age. After graduation, I left home again but this time, I was paying for myself. Got a job and learn to cook and do things how a responsible adult should be at 22. What’s the most attractive thing about an independent woman? Her!
So, not really "independent" when relying on a roommate to pay part of the bills.
Most people that refer to themselves as "independent women" are actually just promiscuous and use the word "independent" in place of not being able to get a good man for an exclusive LTR.
Nothing wrong with her being able to accomplish things on her own (though having a roommate is contradictory to that), but the specific statement of "not needing a man" usually means she can't get a good one because of her past bad decisions in life make her undesirable.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Guys really don’t care whether a woman is independent or not. In fact if she makes a big deal about how independent she is, it’s more likely to put us off because most of those types are heavily feminist, easily offended, always have something to prove etc. Might not always be the case but it is more often than not.
I think that women like yourself make the mistake of thinking that what you might find attractive in a man, we find attractive in you, and that’s just not how it works.
This is the best time to focus upon career and having affairs in order for the next 40 plus years. Career and contain the "fun" from being Single. Common sense goes a long way. I left home at 18 so I know what that is like too... It got old by 23 and I had finished all schooling by that time etc...
Honestly, independence is attractive in the same sense that being a functioning adult is a basic prerequisite for having an adult relationship. It’s a great achievement at your age to be independent, I don’t want to minimize that, but what most women mean by being “independent” is what men call “functioning.”
They have a life that doesn't involve being your shadow, it's why I've exclusively dated women older than myself, I started working for myself before I could be hired and never looked back (I did work in a restaurant for a year but that got me a girlfriend, cooking skills, an accountant and untold experiences with various other contacts, money wasn't a priority)
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